His Worst Nightmare
by smartkid37
Summary: Caught up in the repercussions of a good deed come back to bite him in the behind, Tim is an island with no one to turn to because no one must find out what really happened. But when his relationship with the teammate he rescued becomes frayed, can anyone help? Can this be fixed?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: WARNING: CONTAINS AN INCIDENT OF GRAPHIC NON-CON GROPING -**

Story Note: _Wrote the 1st five chapters of ths like three years ago  
\- and had it BETA'D then by the awesome BETA GOTTAHAVEMYNCIS \- Thank you again for that!_

* * *

Tony's eye lids felt plastered to his eyeballs and the world around him wouldn't stop screaming - all at once - as if he could understand them all or even hear it all, the traffic outside, the birds and even the appliances in the kitchen and his alarm clock just a few feet away from him. On top of that world wouldn't stop spinning and the rolling of his stomach sent a feeling of doom through him that set off a multitude of shivers until he could no longer stop them.

With the heat of the morning sun glaring at him through his plastered eye lids yet not warming the rest of him, the young man couldn't stop himself from turning away from the burning sensation, only to find himself so close to upchucking the contents of his stomach, whatever they might be, he barely managed to find the trash can in time.

Completely spent and weak, Tony dropped back down to the bed, his breathing labored and painful as his mind finally kicked online. _He'd never felt like this before; so whatever he'd done - he'd been completely wasted doing it and God, he hoped he hadn't done anything stupid or crazy or, oh, God,... What the hell_ ** _did_** _he do last night?_ He reached for the trash can yet again, all thoughts grinding to a screeching halt.

 *****NCIS*****

"Where the hell's DiNozzo?" Gibbs barked as he strode through the squad room at seven in the morning. When he received no answer, he stopped and glared first at Ziva and then at Tim. Doing a double-take, he strode over to the young man's desk. "McGee? You alright?"

Exhausted from a sleepless night, in pain stemming from several injuries that he _could_ not talk about, despite the obviousness of his facial injury that may very well be a broken nose, and desperately in need for this to just go away, Tim slid his usual façade in place and nodded slightly, only glancing at his boss as he answered him, despite the pain and swelling his words were muffled through. "Yeah, Boss. I'm fine."

The Team Leader remained where he stood; scrutinizing the young man, whose penchant for understating his own situations when they were troublesome was matched only by his inherent honesty. Both kept Tim under the radar on most days. But not today. With his Senior Field Agent MIA and his youngest agent looking like death warmed over and in obvious pain from what looked like a broken nose, the Team Leader was suddenly in no hurry to brush any of this off. He certainly didn't believe in coincidences. His mind began running amuck trying to sort out the pieces

 _McGee had gone home - supposedly to catch up on much needed sleep after the rough back to back cases this week. And Tony, well, his Senior Field Agent was supposed to have been headed to dinner with some college buddies of his. So what the hell happened? McGee's nose looks like it damn near got broken and he obviously didn't get any sleep at all. Just what the hell was going on around here?_

Since it was obvious McGee wasn't going to tell him anything, Gibbs frowned and moved forward, getting back to the point- which, at the moment, happened to be his Senior Field Agent's status, which appeared to be that of missing. "Seen DiNozzo this morning?" Gibbs asked Tim.

Stopping in his work, Tim's hands froze. In fact, his whole body froze. _How the hell was he supposed to answer that? Sure, Boss, I saw him at one in the morning when I got called by the bartender to come rescue his drunken ass from the bar his friends ditched him at? Or, Sure, Boss, I saw him at one thirty this morning right after he..._

Tim bolted for the head, suddenly sick to his stomach, every step jarring his already hurting body sending a streak of agonizing pain through his lower body, making the awful memory that much sharper. Somehow making to the toilet in time, Tim sank to the floor in the stall, his back against the wall as he slid as far from the porcelain god as he could for the moment as he forced his stomach to calm down. Suddenly, he couldn't stop the tremors, the cold sweat or the memories from coming back.

***Flashback***

 _"Why are you here, McBuzzkill? I'm not drunk!"_

 _"Really? That why the bartender called me and begged me to come get your ass AGAIN? So he wouldn't get fined for you trying to make out with every one of his employees - including the bar back, Tony?" Tim snapped back tiredly._

 _"Hey, just 'cause he stocks the bar doesn't mean he wasn't damned good lookin' just like me, I'll have you know."_

 _"Can it, DiNozzo. Just get your ass in my car so I can drop you on your couch and let you sleep it off! How much did you have to drink this time, anyway? And where the hell are your so called friends?"_

 _"Did you just say 'drop me' McGee? Tony leered as he bodily pushed himself into Tim's face. "'Cause ya know, I always knew you swung like that! And...And...I want...ya...know...cool...with...that..."_

 _Tim pushed The Senior Field Agent just enough that the older man dropped down into the Porsche's passenger seat. Exhausted and very short on patience and compassion on this fifth such rescue in two weeks, Tim physically stuffed the rest of the man's body into the car, slamming the door angrily as he walked around to the driver's door._

 _Dropping down into the driver's seat, he was treated to a wagging finger in his face. "Shou...slam...doo...Pro..."_

 _"Stuff it, DiNozzo!" Tim bit back with no filter._

 _Tony's head fell back against the seat and blessed silence moved in, giving Tim's nerves and his anger a chance to recuperate._

 _Thankfully the ride to Tony's apartment was quick and just as quiet. Having to get out and manhandle the older, heavier man up to his apartment and over to his couch, exhausted Tim and he stood breathing heavily for a minute. Next, he headed to the cabinet that he knew contained the supplies the drunken man would need. Knowing they were there both calmed his nerves and angered him because it reminded him that he'd put them there after the last rescue from his almost nightly binge, just two nights ago._

 _He didn't understand what was happening to his teammate, going out getting drunk two or three times a week here lately, coming in to work more ragged every time. Tonight had been the fifth time he'd rescued Tony from a bar in the last two weeks and he was not only tired, he was fed up._

 _Coming back to the living room, he gave the older man the same instructions he'd been giving him lately. "Go to sleep. Everything you'll need when you wake up is right here. You've got your bottle of water, your trash can and your headache killer, all lined up for ya."_

 _A drunken Tony surges to his feet, grabbing on to Tim for balance. "DiNozzo's can handle their drinkin' Probie. I don't need to sleep! What I NEED is to get laid! You're horny, aren't ya Timmy! YOU NEVER get laiddd! Cause you_ ** _are_** _gay,huh?" Tony sprouted off loudly as if gaining his second wind while he stubbornly continued to reach for Tim, battling the younger man's attempts to hold him off._

 _Tim stepped back in horror, giving Tony a small enough push that the older man fell back harmlessly to the couch. This was a Tony he'd never expected and certainly wasn't prepared for. "Okay, Tony. I'm just gonna go now." Turning around, Tim's feet moved, desperately needing to put some space between them._

 _He'd reached the apartment door, only to find himself violently shoved into the door beneath the unexpected weight of one drunken Tony DiNozzo as he held him in place with his body's weight, breathing in his ear, smelling of booze and puke; the combination of which turned Tim's stomach almost violently Swallowing desperately around the bile in his throat, Tim cried out as the older man gyrated against him, his breathing getting hot and heavy, as his moans grew louder and more sexual._

 _"AH! OW!" With a sickened feeling in his gut as the older man's lower body moved against his own, Tim realized that Tony had somehow managed to strip himself of his pants and that clothed only in briefs now, was even more overly excited in his drunken stupor. In short, what Tim was getting assaulted with was a nearly naked older, stronger man! Tim began to freak out, his breathing harsh and irregular, already painful with his probably broken nose, his heart beating wildly in his chest as panic began to set in. Even the feeling of blood flowing from his face, along with the smell of it, was adding to the increasingly overwhelming feeling, a nightmare of epic proportions._

 _"Thaats, it, Timmy boy! Always KNEW you like it like thisss!" Tony's slurred words were still streaming out of his mouth as his seemingly steel plated fingers greedily and painfully groped Tim through his sweats, repeatedly squeezing his already hurting rod and even reaching for his scroctrum, squeezing painfully there as well ._

 _"Tony! STOP! OW!" Tim's body was awash in agony, startled into an even more uncomfortable sensation that of his totally plastered teammate's hardened muscle shoving itself against his backside in shaky, yet aggressive thrusts repeatedly while noisily expressing his intense pleasure, crass words still spewing from his mouth._

 ** _"TONY, STOP_** _!"_

 _"Don't mean that...like it...know ya do...No pain, No gain, huh, Lover boy? OOOH, AAAH.!" Tony gloats as his hands kept groping, greedily, incessantly, Knew...you'd beee good." The older man breathed excitedly into Tim's ear as he pushed him into the door harder, his thrusting harder now. "Tole ya, I neeed to g.. laid. Waant u ... know y want ...uck me too." Tony slurred. His mouth coming crushing Tim's ear as it plasters a slobbery kiss there loudly. A hand doubled down on Tim's crotch and squeezed again, this time so painfully, the younger man saw white, nearly passing out as he screamed out in pain as Tony's words kept coming, his actions out of control._

 ** _"OW! Tony, stop!"_**

 _" You're so hot, I'm cumin' already! Ooh! AAhh! Ngghhh!"_

 _As pain roared through him and ricocheted inside his body from the aggression coming at him so unexpectedly, Tim jerked back, dislodging the finally lax Tony off of him and staggered through the door, slamming it behind him - pain screaming through him in multiple places with every step he took- away from the possibility of it becoming something much worse._

 _***End Flashback***_

Sitting huddled in the bathroom stall now, his vision's clouded with the memory of it as every moment of it paraded through his mind in vivid color replay. Breathing raggedly, he returns to the here and now. He needed to pull himself together. This wasn't anything he wanted to involve anyone else in so he didn't want or need them asking questions. Pulling himself to his feet slowly and with pain still lancing through his privates as well as his face, he took himself over to the sink and cleaned himself up. As he gently dried his face, he forced it all down deep, sliding on a mask of calm he was far from feeling, willed the pain to subside - and stepped back outside the bathroom, momentarily leaning back against it for support.

 *****NCIS*****

Tony doesn't remember going to bed last night. As he struggles against the hangover enough to sit up, he frowns at the blank spot in his memory. _How'd he get home?_ Gingerly swinging his legs over the bed, he stood to his wobbly feet, reaching out to hold on to the bedframe until the world stopped spinning. It'd been a long time since he'd gotten so drunk he couldn't remember _any_ thing from the night before.

It wasn't a feeling he enjoyed and he knew it wasn't something Gibbs would be happy about. As Federal Agents, they were never supposed to let themselves get to a place where they were completely unaware of their surroundings or lose track of what happens to themselves the way he obviously did last night. No doubt, the boss would be pissed about. No one ever came in this late and not catch hell for it. get to that point. Gibbs would hit the roof for sure. When his eyes happened on the bedside clock, he swore. "Damn it!" Now the boss would have a hell of a lot more to be pissed at him about.

Forcing his feet to move, he headed to the living room to search for his phone. As he stepped foot inside his living room, he froze. What the hell happened in here last night? The coffee table's contents were sprawled all over the floor at the far end of the table and _where the hell's my phone?_

Stumbling to hallway table where he kept his keys, he found his phone, his eyes sweeping the area out of habit, his breath stopping at what he saw on the door. _Was that blood? And more on the floor?_

Shaking now with the force of visual evidence that something bad happened here that he didn't remember; Tony snatched his phone from where he spotted it, hit the speed dial for the boss and struggled to breathe.

 _"Where the hell are you, DiNozzo?"_

Boss, I think something bad happened last night?" Tony choked out.

 _"Where are you, Tony?'_ _Gibbs anger audibly evaporated, instantly replaced with concern._

"My place."

 _"Your place. You_ ** _think_** _something bad happened? You don't remember?"_

"Got pretty wasted last night, Boss." Tony admitted shakily. "There's blood on my door and it's not mine. A spot on the floor, too."

 _"Got more than wasted if you don't remember, DiNozzo." Gibbs reminded him quietly_. _"Stay there and don't touch anything. Don't even shower. We'll be right there."_

"We?" Tony croaked out.

 _"It is a potential crime scene, Tony."_

"Guess it is. Okay. Don't touch anything. Don't shower. Got it. Guess I should have eaten before I called in, huh?"

 _"Just do as I said."_

Gibbs snapped his phone shut. Looking around his squad room he frowned at the still empty desk of his youngest Team member. "Where the hell's McGee?"

"He is still in the head." Ziva told him quietly, now concerned for both her teammates. She knew something was wrong with Tim and now she'd heard enough to know that Tony was in trouble as well. "I will go get the others."

"Tony's not dead, Ziva."

"Perhaps not, but that does not mean he is completely well, if he cannot remember what happened."

"Yeah. Okay. Get Ducky. Tell Palmer he needs to stay behind." Gibbs relented as he strode toward the men's bathroom. Stopping mid-stride as the young man in question appeared in front of them, still trembling and still looking like he was in physical pain.

"McGee! Get your ass in gear, Tony's in trouble; something happened at his place last night. He can't remember anything but he found blood in his apartment that's not his."


	2. Chapter 2

Tim's life flashed before his eyes at his Team Leader's dreaded words as he found himself face to face with his now pissed off boss since he hadn't yet moved. "Let's go, your teammate's in trouble! What the hell's taking you so long, McGee?"

"Boss." Shaking his head, Tim attempted to reach out verbally, needing the man to hear him; to not blow this out of proportion.

Gibbs stood there, anger vibrating off him. _What the hell was wrong with that kid? Sure he and Tony had their differences and Tony could be a real pain in the ass sometimes but nothing that merited not hurrying to the Senior Field Agent's aid when the man was in trouble, for cryin' out loud!_ "McGee! Damn it, MOVE!"

"Boss, no." Tim shook his head again as he looked past the man's shoulder, not willing to look him in the eye. He couldn't face Tony right now. Shuddering in pain filled memory; Tim was surprised to find Ziva at his side, almost as if buffering him from the angry Team Leader. A fresh wave of physical pain washed through him at his movements and a roaring in his ears as he struggled to hear what's being said to him.

"McGee, what is it? Something is wrong, yes? We can see that you are in serious pain and you look as is though you are sick as well. Are you ill?" Ziva asks with compassion mixed with the confidence to ask.

"Suck it up, McGee! Let's move!" Gibbs snapped as he turned to head back to the elevator again.

"Boss... Tony's… fine. He got drunk…. last night… that's all." Tim said, his words coming out in pieces through his ragged breathing and garbled through his swollen nose.

Turning back and looking closely at his agent, Gibbs frowned, not liking what he was seeing or hearing for that matter. He placed a hand on Tim's shoulder, surprisingly feeling the younger man flinch from his touch.

"Talk to me, McGee."

Tim shook his head, wincing with the agony the motion brought to him. His breathing more under control now, he firmly replied while he walked to his desk.. "Nothing to tell. I'm fine. I bumped my nose on Tony's door when I was leaving after I brought him home from the bar. Nothing serious happened. He's fine. I'm fine." Not waiting for an answer, he eased himself into his chair, immediately diving back into his work – his escape.

"Ziva, want you to go with Ducky –so he can go check on Tony. ATER he takes a look at McGee!" The boss ordered as his eyes remained fixed on his youngest agent; the unusual behavior he was seeing in him troubling to say the least, as well as the look of the injury, the obvious pain he can't hide, his continued breathing trouble and the extra slow movements.

In a shocking show of stubborn backbone, Tim shook his head. "I'm **fine.** " The anger that had climbed into the young man's tone was a surprise. But, since it was obvious Gibbs didn't believe him – on any of it – not even that Tony was fine – it boiled Tim's blood all over again – along with the events from last night.

Unwilling to waste any more time arguing about it, Gibbs turns back to his other agent, frozen with worry at her teammate's stubborn refusal to be looked at. "Ziva, you get goin'. Keep me updated." Having issued that order, he speared his youngest agent with a glare of anger while snatching up his coffee cup – and headed out for a fresh cup of coffee. He knew it would be useless to argue with the younger man about this and since Tony's situation was more dire with its' wealth of unknowns, there was little that could be done to counteract Tim's stubbornness until Ducky got back here. Suddenly, he needed the strongest stuff he could find.

****NCIS****

"Tony, you are alright, yes?" Ziva asked him for the third time since she'd arrived in his apartment not twenty minutes ago. Having already scraped the samples from the door and surrounding floor that she needed to and secured them properly, her attention had soon turned to her teammate's well-being.

"Yeah." Tony's noncommittal answer worried her, as did the statue he was flawlessly mimicking, not moving a single muscle as he stood looking at the door to his apartment, the opposite wall supporting his weight as he leaned back into it, his arms crossed across his chest. In this position he'd taken up since admitting her to his apartment, he clearly shown that he'd been worrying about this.

"You do not sound like you are alright." She pushed with complete seriousness.

"Not remembering what happened for the past twelve hours kinda does that to me, Zee-vah!" Tony bit out testily, not moving a muscle.

"This happens to you often, yes?" She asked in an attempt to lighten his mood as Ducky entered the apartment.

"Hey, Ducky. Hey, where's Gibbs and the McProbster, anyway?" Tony asked almost offhandedly, nearly deflecting the situation completely off himself. His nerves felt stretched to the breaking point and he feared he'd say something he shouldn't since he didn't have any answers. There was something he knew he should have realized about the missing hours, it was on the tip of his brain but just wouldn't come to him.

Glancing over at the M.E. for some sort of sign that he'd talked to the younger man and knew what was going on; Ziva was shocked to find him shaking his head at her. With the obvious instruction not to discuss Tim with Tony, Ziva turned her attention back to the question as Ducky answered it.

"Anthony, I am much more concerned at the moment about you. Talk us through what you remember, please."

"Went out with some friends from college last night, that's all." Tony defended himself. He'd hadn't been able to shake the feeling of being extremely bothered about that missing piece that's been niggling at the back of his mind. Why can't he remember anything?

"Yes, you talked about those plans all week. We all knew where you were going. What else? What time did you leave the bar with them?" Ziva butted in, deliberately keeping the questions going along pertinent lines.

"I didn't." Tony recalled, his eyes drifting as his mind recalled the details he had. "I was still there when they all left."

"Nice friends." Ziva commented. "I will need to speak with them. What else can you remember?"

Frowning, Tony remained silent as he thought back, coming up with nothing, but the mess in his living room and apartment door and the persistent itch that usually came from needing a shower after he'd…! _No, way! Had he gotten lucky last night and not remembered? Man, he hated it when that happened! Why does the door bother me like this…?_

"Tony!" Ziva's strong voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

With a worried glance in the surprisingly silent M.E.'s direction, he shook his head. "Nothin'. I don't remember anything after they left me at the bar."

"Which was at what time?" Ziva pushed impatiently, not completely believing him. His eyes had taken on that shocked look for a moment and she knew he remembered something.

"Around one, I think."

"McGee says he brought you home and left you safe and sound. That does not sound as if you did anything to be concerned about." Ziva reported to him in hopes of refreshing his memory.

Tony shook his head. "I can't remember. But if McHonest said that's what happened, there's no reason to believe otherwise. In fact, if that's what he said, why are the two of you even here?" Tony asked nervously.

Ducky cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable in this conversation for some reason. "Ziva. Since it is obvious that Anthony is alright, perhaps you could…"

"Wait for you out at the car. Yes, Ducky. I will do that. Tony, do try to behave." She gently mocked him as she dug out her phone. I will inform Gibbs that McGee was right – there is nothing to be concerned about." She stated before heading out.

"Now then, Anthony. Let's have a look, shall we?" Ducky suggested in his tone that made it anything but a suggestion as he lays out what he needs to also check Tony's blood pressure and a syringe with which to take a blood sample.

"Ducky, I'm _fine._ "

"Anthony, you are wasting my time and Jethro's since he will not permit you to return to work without a word from me regarding your fitness to do so."

"Ducky, I'm tellin' you, I'm fine!" Tony argued. Look I'll do whatever else you need, except that because I'm fine. You really think McGoo would have said nothing happened if something had? Come to think of it, if he says nothing happened he probably knows why this blood is here, too!"

Giving the combative patient his full attention, Ducky frowned. "Since Timothy left you before the night was over, I would like to be able to rule 'something'. Do not keep me waiting, Anthony." He held out the specimen cup. "Do leave the door open, won't you? We would not want any questions to arise as to the authenticity of the sample."

With his own displeased expression, Tony took it and went to his bathroom. "You know how much I hate this, right Ducky?" He called out through the apartment.

"What you need, young man is a hot shower and a decent breakfast" Ducky remarked as he headed to the young man's kitchen to wait, immediately preparing a fresh pot of coffee for him. He didn't bother to address the question, that is, until Tony reappeared in the doorway, filled specimen jar in hand. Ducky pulled an evidence bag from where he'd stowed it – in his medical bag on the counter. Handing the bag to Tony, left that unpleasant chore up to him as well.

Once that had been dealt with, the ME. Quickly took the blood sample he needed from the Senior Field Agent, finally addressing the younger man's discussion. "It does appear that you are unharmed and un-inebriated or under the influence of any substance." The M.E. attempted to calm the unsettled agent.

"You never answered me about McGee knowing where the blood came from, Ducky."

"That, Anthony, is not something I have the answer to. It is something we will have to delve into when we next speak with Timothy. Now why don't you go take that shower while I fix you some breakfast? Then I really must get back to work, as should you."

Tony sighed. "Yeah. Okay. Thanks for the house call, Doc. You don't have to fix me breakfast, I promise I'll eat."

"Very well. I shall see you at work then. And do try to curtail this drinking, Anthony, it is not healthy for you and neither is not being able to account for yourself for 12 hours. Neither is it at all fair to Timothy for him to continue to have to rescue you from yourself when he, himself should be getting a decent night's sleep instead."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Ducky." Tony admitted as he headed back to the bathroom, a towel slung over his shoulder. "And tell McGoo, I said thanks for making sure I got home okay last night."

"Perhaps, that is something he should hear from you, Anthony." Ducky chided as he watched the young man close the bathroom door. He let himself out of the apartment, locking the door behind him, frowning as he headed out. He was not happy that Anthony didn't remember anything from the previous night, given what he'd heard from Jethro about the rather worrisome state Timothy came to work in. He was not willing to discuss either of their situations with the other, without permission and Ducky knew that in the case of Timothy, the intensely private young man would not let that happen. As tightly as he'd been holding on to the details of what happened here, there was no doubt, he'd hold just as tightly to that. Sighing deeply, he sent up a silent prayer that what Timothy had experienced last night was not more serious than he was letting on. He knew enough not to hold his breath on that hope, but to simply be vigilant in watching over him until things could be sorted out.

****NCIS****

Sighing in relief as the boss man headed out of the squad room, Tim dropped all pretense of working and sat back in his seat, a tired, shaky hand gently rubbing across his face. How much longer can he hold this mask in place? With no appetite to speak of, he worried about taking any medicine to help alleviate the pain so all of the stress was quickly doubling in weight on him and that in turn was skewering his concentration on his job. If he didn't pull it together, it wouldn't be long before the situation would spiral out of control even more so than it already was.

With a deep breath, Tim forced himself to push everything else aside other than what he was working on. It wasn't the first time he'd had to work in difficult circumstances, by any means. He'd gotten to be an old pro at it. With that reminder in mind, he dove back into his work, this time successfully tuning out the world around him.

He didn't even realize when the boss came back in or notice him watching him with a guardedly concerned and angry scrutiny that would normally have made him squirm. In fact, he never even noticed Gibbs return to work behind his own desk, his unchanging gaze never wandering far from him, as if the older man was afraid to look away for long.

****NCIS****

Almost an hour later, Tony finally made it to work, his entrance into the squad room as quiet as a mouse, so much as the elevator allowed for. Surprisingly enough, the atmosphere in the squad room seemed to be a mix of anger and tension enough that it was thick and uncomfortable. While noticing it, Tony was much too worried about the next words out of the boss' mouth to do anything other than settle in as quietly as possible and get right to work.

With no new call out, the cold case sitting on his desk was the chore of the day and as he looked around the too quiet room, Tony saw his teammates already engrossed in their own cold case. Taking that quiet minute, he applied his brain and its' experienced powers of observation he was always bragging about having, to trying to pick apart this unpleasant atmosphere and zero in on the cause.

Glancing at Ziva first, he could see by her eyes' periodic trips around the room that she, too, felt it and wanted to find out what had happened. Interestingly enough, her glances towards each of them, differed not only in intensity but in the expression that accompanied it. As she glanced at the boss, her expression seemed to take on wariness, as if expecting him to bark at her. When she looked over at him, her eyes screamed concerned yet disappointed and they stayed on him longer, as if expecting him to do something. But, it was the softened look of worry she sent in the probie's direction that startled Tony. Any minute now, she might get up and go offer him a hug, her emotions that readable.

 _What the hell was going on around here?_ _What'd he miss?_ The boss was radiating anger- periodically spearing the clueless probie whose face looked remarkably swollen, with them – while the clueless probie was – well, continuously clueless as he read and typed and read some more, relentlessly digging through the case he'd been given to work. _Oh, yeah, work_.

Feeling the heat of a concerned glare that was part anger and disappointment from across the room, Tony looked back at the boss, finding himself staring straight into those cobalt blue orbs that were currently boring holes into his skull. Before Tony could look away, the man was getting up out of his chair and motioning for Tony to go with him – to the office.

***NCIS***

Like a jack-in-the-box, Ziva was out of her seat as soon as the elevator door closed on the Team Leader and Senior Field Agent. In no time flat, she was at Tim's shoulder. "McGee. It is clear to me that you are not alright. What is going on with you? Did Tony do something to you last night when you were called to rescue him?"

"I'm fine. Ziva. Thank you." Tim replied quietly while he refused to look at her. He knew his eyes would give him away – and he wasn't willing to let her in- not this time – not for this.

"McGee…"

"Ziva, please! Leave it alone!" Tim demands.

"Alright. Perhaps I will ask Tony if he can remember more of what happened last night."

"Why can't you just respect my wishes on this, Ziva?" Tim asked, suddenly angry at her persistence. "Do I dig when you ask us not to?"

Ziva breathed out a regret filled sigh. "No. you do not. I apologise, McGee. I promise I will not dig any further."

"Thank you."

"However. It is obvious that you are in significant pain with your nose. I would like it very much if you would consent to letting Ducky take a look at you. It looks broken."

Feeling overwhelmed by the pain of both injuries, Tim found himself agreeing before he realized it. "Yeah. Okay." Standing up, he smiled in appreciation as he headed out. "Thanks."

"You do not need to thank me, McGee. That is what friends do."

Nodding, he took himself to the back elevator.

****NCIS****

When the lights went out and the boxcar stopped moving, Tony felt the ball and chain in his gut reach out and nearly strangle him. He knew the boss expected answers, but the trouble was, Tony didn't have any. He couldn't remember anything after his friends left him last night.

"You're better than this, DiNozzo." The man's disappointment was palpable.

"Boss, I'm sorry."

"Don't…"

"I know, don't apol…"

"Let it happen again!"

"I won't."

"I know."

"Boss, what's goin' on? It's like a funeral up there."

"Just get to work, Tony." The boss answered as he snapped the elevator back on.

The ride back up was incredibly, eerily silent.

***NCIS***

"Hello, Timothy. What brings you? Oh, I see you're in pain. Well, with that swelling, I'm not surprised. Tell me, did you go to the emergency room?"

Tim shook his head, closing his face in pain as it shot through his head in response to that unwise movement. He hadn't even considered the emergency room last night. The other pain he'd nearly passed out from had scorched that lesser concern. But, there was no way he was admitting to that or even talking about it.

"Let's take a look, shall we?" The M.E. picked up his medical bag and approached the first autopsy table, beckoning Tim over to it. While the young man settled on the table, Ducky opened his bag and sought the light he needed to see more closely, the damage that had been done.

The older man was shocked when as he neared the young man to examine him, Timothy visibly flinched, the unsettled wariness nearly jumping off of him. "Do try to relax, Timothy. I promise to try not to cause you more pain."

Tim blinked rapidly, the unwanted moisture trying to escape nearly bringing with it a sob, his body shuddering under the strain of holding it back, the double meaning of the kind man's words striking him in the heart with a knife of irony

The M.E. frowned as the young man's physical reaction to his nearness and his words alarmed him. Carefully, he kept his touches to a minimum and gently touched Tim's nose and confined to making sure the nose had not been broken.

"You are lucky, dear boy, in that it does not appear that the nose is broken, though I'm certain the pain is as real as if it had been. However, I wish to verify my belief with some genuine xrays."

"Thanks, Ducky." Tim offers genuinely, his voice shaky at best.

"I would like to hear why it is you did not seek medical assistance when this happened dear boy."

Tim's face lost all color and his breathing hitched. There was no way he could answer that!

"Never mind, Timothy. You are seeking help now and hopefully you will not suffer adverse affects from waiting. "The M.E. said as he brought out the xray machine and began taking the pictures he needed.

"Now, while we wait and I look over the pictures, I want you to take this pain medication and stretch out on the sofa in my office. I am officially relieving you of duty until you've had the chance to rest; which, judging by the looks of you, you have not."

Tim huffed out a half-smile of agreement.

"Yes, I thought as much. "Go on, I shall inform Jethro of my decision. Rest assured, young man, he will _not_ hold this against you."

The unspoken _'if I have anything to say about it._ ' Brought a timid smile of appreciation to Tim's face.

"Thanks, Ducky." He offered as, he shuffled into the man's office and with the older man's help, settled onto the sofa.

"I will take you to the emergency room myself if the nose is broken, Timothy, go on and rest until then."

Tim's exhaustion combined with the fast acting pain relief quickly took him away from the pain and the stress of it all.

******NCIS******

As the elevator opened up and her teammates stepped off, enroute to their desks, the boss stopped midstride –thunder crossing his features. "Where the hell's McGee?"

"I sent him to Ducky." Ziva answered calmly, undaunted by his anger in the face of her deep concern for the young man she considered a dear friend. "It was obvious he was in a great deal of pain, Gibbs."

With a grunt, Gibbs returned to his work, leaving Tony to do the same; having already been instructed as much. The silence that descended now was much less strained, as if the cause of it had changed. With a frown of still unsatisfied worry, Tony got busy.

The shrill interruption of the boss' phone startled both Tony and Ziva a few minutes later.

"Yeah, Gibbs…okay…make sure you get me … Thanks, Duck." Gibbs put his phone down and got back into his work – without a word to either of his agents.

 _ *******NCIS*****  
**_

When the end of the work day had come and gone with still no sign of Tim McGee returning to his desk, Tony found himself much more than curious. He was downright concerned since his forays into the world of looking for clues had brought him no results. He wasn't sure what concerned him more, his teammate's absence or the anger that emanated from the boss anytime the junior agent's name came up. _Come to think about it, the only time it did come up, was when Tony himself, brought it up. Was that where the response was coming from?_

Lunchtime had garnered him no clues or information as Ziva remained tightlipped and Abby was unavailable, being off the yard on an science consortium of some kind. When his first chance to escape for a break came in the afternoon, Tony made a beeline for Ducky's domain – knowing the kindly older man would fill him in of whatever it was he knew about what was going on.

But he'd been sorely disappointed at that turn as well, since the M.E. wasn't even available to talk with. According to the Autopsy Gremlin, the older man had not been in when Jimmy had come back from lunch, himself, but had left a note with instructions of what the younger man was expected to do to fill up his work hours in the boss' absence.

Hightailing his behind back to his desk, Tony got back to work, the heat of the boss' scowl nearly searing him from across the room. He'd forced himself to focus on work. Before he knew it the afternoon had slipped away.

Now the squad room was empty and dark, as the end of the shift moved in, while the workers moved on out for the night. Knowing the boss was still here, Tony perched himself on the edge of Tim's desk and waited for the man to come back from his latest coffee run. His patience was rewarded when the Team Leader strolled back in, going straight to his desk, pausing in his motions as he noticed Tony for the first time.

"Somethin' on your mind, DiNozzo?"

"You've been actin' pretty pissed at McGee all day, today, Boss. And he never came back from going to talk to Ducky."

"You've been payin' attention."

"What's goin' on, Boss?" Tony's tone took on that quality that came only when he was digging for serious answers because he was seriously concerned for his team.

They were, after all, his family. He cared about them all, though he rarely admitted it. Tim, especially, was like a little brother to him, one he looked after and took pride in, even if he didn't show it. Sure, they'd butted heads over a lot of stuff, but that was to be expected, right? Besides, these past two weeks, Tim'd proven without a doubt that he had Tony's back. That in and of itself stuck with Tony, even if he didn't know how to show his appreciation for it. He felt genuinely concerned for the younger man and wished someone would tell him what the hell was going on.

Gibbs watched his senior field agent as the thoughts obviously paraded through his mind, his eyes for once not completely shuttered against the world. He really was a stand-up guy. He just took the haphazardly dangerous way to get there. Which is why Tim's attitude this morning royally pissed Gibbs off the way it had; the way it still did, to the point that it was still over-riding his concern for the young man. They were a team – always looking out for each other and there should be no exceptions. Just thinking about it again, riled him.

Still Tony was looking for answers and he deserved to know what was going on. "McGee refused to go check on you this morning. Said you were fine except for getting drunk last night. Said he picked you up, dropped you off and there was nothing more to it."

"He was right."

"Thought you didn't remember?" Gibbs throws at him sharply. "You been lyin' to me?"

"No Boss. But, I know McHonest. If that's what he said happened, then it happened."

"Doesn't give him to right to refuse to have your six!" Gibbs shot back angrily, shocked at Tony's defense of the younger one.

Tony sighed. Raising himself up on his arms, he sat down on Tim's desk. "The thing is, Boss, he's _been_ coverin' my six after work for _two_ weeks now."

Getting up from his desk, Gibbs frowned as he walked over to his Senior Field Agent. "C'mon."

"Where we goin'?"

"To talk"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** _Out on a limb here with the Lab Results_ \- _(new material since BETA'D so long ago)_

so...

 _Who talks to whom? - and - now that Abby's back at work - what happens next?_

* * *

Ducky sighed as he tucked a piece of Tim's wayward hair behind the young man's ear as he slept. It had been a very stress filled day to the point where the M.E. had finally taken matters into his own hands. He'd driven the obviously over-burdened agent to his home, attempted to feed him dinner and settled him in the guest bedroom with a warm mug of milk , making certain he was asleep before even thinking of calling Jethro and updating him.

Throughout the morning, Timothy's rest had been anything but restful, as nightmares had kept him tossing and turning, moaning in pain as he moved not only his head, the M.E. noticed, but also his lower body as well, as if fighting off an attacker, maybe even two. With countless questions brewing on the doctor's mind, it was difficult to hold his tongue during the brief moments of wakefulness the young man experienced.

But, the bedraggled look to the younger man, along with the bleakness in his eyes quickly persuaded the M.E. to give him the rest of the day without another moment of angst filled discussion, the need for genuine rest so blatantly obvious . The fact that no sedative had been needed before Timothy fell asleep on his guest bed, also worried Ducky. It meant the young man was truly exhausted in spite of having slept for hours earlier in the day.

With one last look, the elderly man headed out of the room. Closing the door to keep things quiet for his sleeping guest, Ducky reached for his cell phone as he walked back down the hall toward the rest of the house, shocked when it rang before he could use it himself. Quickly, he answered it. "Hello?"

 _"Duck, how's McGee?"_

"You seemed awfully angry with him today, Jethro. Are you asking because you are concerned or because you wish to berate him for his behavior?" Ducky took the opportunity to let his displeasure be heard.

 _"Need to talk to him."_

 _"_ I will not allow it until I know the purpose of behind this urgency. The young man is obviously going through something traumatic as well as physically painful and I will not allow you to make it worse for him!"

 _"Owe him an apology, Duck."_

"In your own famous words, Jethro; 'just one?'

 _"Ducky, c'mon, give me a break here, will ya?"_

"After the abhorrent way you treated your injured and obviously struggling agent today, _you_ are not the one who is in need of that break, Jethro! I have spoken with Ziva who has called me with great concern for her teammate. What she had to say saddens me greatly. I had hoped that you had learned over the years to have more regard for your team members than what you apparently showed Timothy today."

 _"Had a lot goin' on, Duck. Tony..."_

"Ah, yes. Tony was in trouble and that, as usual took center stage of your attention. I have little energy left with which to quarrel with you, Jethro, as you are certainly stubborn and set in your ways. It is the manner in which you treated Timothy along the way that I find needs to be brought more sharply into your focus before any more damage is done to what stilted relationship the two of you have now."

 _"***Sigh*** I know, Duck. I need to fix it. Need to talk to him to do that."_

"Yes, well, be that as it may, I'm afraid it will have to wait. He has just gone to sleep after not eating any dinner and his body is quite exhausted. From the looks of things, he has barely gotten any sleep for a week."

 _"Apparently, that's about right."_

"Oh? So you _do_ know what is going on with him?"

 _"Just found out from Tony. Thanks for lookin' after him, Duck."_

"Hmmm." The M.E. spoke to the empty air, since the Team Leader had already hung up. "Honestly." He muttered unhappily as he set his phone on the charger and locked up for the evening.

 *****NCIS*****

Gibbs snapped his phone shut and glanced over at the sleeping young man on his sofa. While he couldn't help but feel anger and disappointment in what he'd been told, he also couldn't help but feel for his Senior Field Agent, either. Thinking back over the conversation, every word of it came back to him now.

 _***Flashback***_

 _"Not like you to be so quiet, Tony." Gibbs remarked as they settled on the older man's couch with fresh brewed coffee in each of their mugs._

 _Tony sipped his drink, as he remained silent. Even the silent ride over here obviously hadn't helped him figure out how to say what he had to admit to. It was clear that Tony was realizing this wasn't just affecting him anymore - that it was having serious repercussions for his little brother as well, seemed to have brought out the more introspective side of him - the side that thought carefully before he spoke - consequences be whatever they would be._

 _Taking a deep breath, the younger man finally spoke. "My ole man got married again."_

 _Gibbs cocked his head in a tiny movement of surprise._

 _"She's just as young as the last one - who was younger than me."_

 _"I remember."_

 _"You remember? Oh, right you remember me going on and on about her because, you let me get away with...anyway, he's completely besotted with her."_

 _"Leavin' you out in the cold again."_

 _"Leaving me out in the cold again - but this time's different."_

 _"How?_

 _"She's loaded." Tony spat out with a fury he'd obviously long held in check til now._

 _"Meanin' he'll have no reason to give you the time of day anymore."_

 _"Exactly!"_

 _"Tony. What's this got to do with McGee?"_

 _"I haven't exactly been handling it too well, Boss. I mean, I've been waiting all my life for him to say, "Ya know what, Junior? I'm sorry. And I'm gonna spend the rest my life trying to make it up to you because I love you."_

 _"So because your ole man hasn't lived up to your expectations, you've been wallowin' and McGee's been your fall guy."_

 _"More like my 'come and get me, I'm too sloshed to drive or even think straight' guy." Tony admits with abject remorse._

 _"So you're telling me that he was right when he said you were fine this morning, just hung over?"_

 _"Guess so, Boss. I can't remember anything from last night, which means I got REALLY wasted. But, I gotta tell ya, something feels off about that I mean, ya..."_

 _"Well, yeah, Tony, McGee nearly busted his nose on your door tryin' to leave after haulin' your sorry ass home at one in the mornin'!"_

 _Tony nodded. "I know. And I feel like scum about that, Boss. Really, I do! I know I owe him. I owe him a lot!"_

 _"Good that you see that, DiNozzo. You can start makin' it up to him by NOT callin' him next time you need to get sloshed! Don't_ **call** _him to rescue you! Give the guy a break!" Gibbs ordered sternly._

 _"I will, Boss. I'll call you instead." Tony promised seriously as he drank down the rest of his coffee._

 _"No, you won't!" The boss barked with a hint of impatient anger._

 _"Boss?"_

 _Tony's wounded look felt like a punch to the gut but Gibbs was pissed on Tim's behalf and damn it, Tony needed to pick_ ** _himself_** _up for a change! Or better yet, actually use that head of his to think first! His anger still tempering his tone, Gibbs sternly reminded his Senior Field Agent what was expected of him. "You'll use that head of yours for more than a hat rack and keep yourself home when you're drinkin' like you're supposed to do!"_

 _"Yes, Boss. Guess, I royally screwed up, huh?"_

 _"Ya think, DiNozzo?" Gibbs growled dryly._

 _"I know, Boss. And I'm sorry."_

 _"Not the one that needs to hear it."_

 _Tim is. I owe the guy a lot."_

 _"Remember that the next time you think of treatin' him like crap."_

 _"I will, Boss, or at least, I'll try to remember to." Tony sighed as he set his coffee mug down on the table and flopped backwards. "God, I'm bushed."_

 _Getting up off the couch, the older man tossed his surrogate son a pillow. "Go to sleep, Tony. Figure out how you're gonna square things with him. Soon!"_

 _"Night, Boss."_

 _"Night."_

 _"Appreciate the ear, Boss. Think maybe you can ease up on Probie now?"_

 _"Go to sleep Tony."_

 _****End Flashback***_

Locking up the house, Tony's question continued to loop around in Gibbs' head.

 _Think maybe you can ease up on Probie now?_

As he thought back over what the M.E. had said about his youngest agent's stress filled day and, the Team Leader had to wonder if there was more going on than he was being told. Then again, he realized, that much was a given since McGee wouldn't talk to him.  
 _The young man is obviously going through something traumatic and I will not allow you to make it worse for him_

Ducky's anger directed at him and the sharp chastisement because the M.E. believed he, the Team Leader had vilified his youngest agent today didn't sit well with him. _Had_ he handled things with Tim wrong? The events of the day and the genuine worry regarding Tony's well-being from the beginning of the day certainly hadn't helped keep his perspective anywhere near objective.

Getting into his own bed a few minutes later, the Team Leader was still frowning. His gut was telling him that there was a hell of a lot more going on with Tim than anyone was being told. Come hell or high water, he'd talk to his youngest agent tomorrow.

 *****NCIS*****

It was beyond late when Abby stepped into her lab, but she'd missed this place. These were her babies and being away from them for a day, like she'd been yesterday, even for a work related assignment off the Yard meant they had time to miss her. Not even back in town for an hour and she had to come in and get started on reminding them that she hadn't left them for good. Booting up her babies, she glanced through the secured evidence left for her to go through and do her magic, pulling every trace of fact and information from them. Apparently, her Three Musketeers caught a case yesterday and a very hush-hush one at that, judging by the way the evidence from it is triple secured against anyone touching it except for her.

With a tender smile on her face for her team's consideration and respect, she got ready to work. They'd have their results by the time they got to work in the morning! But first - she needed her Caf-Pow!

 *****NCIS*****

Morning found Tim feeling much more rested though his body still hurt. Even trying to relieve himself hurt like hell, a day and a half later. It literally brought tears to his eyes as he forced himself to endure it. He wasn't sure what Tony had done while molesting him through his clothes the way he had, but it felt like he'd broken him there as well as almost breaking his nose.

Gasping for breath as the pain finally began to slack off, he sagged back against the wall, holding on to the sink to keep from falling out in the floor. He didn't have a spare protective cup with him to Ducky's since this stay was last minute, but damn it, he needed one! Trouble was, he didn't have one in his go bag either! He'd managed to avoid the worst of the pain yesterday by not moving very much, though every move he'd made had hurt like hell.

Tim felt his heart drop when he heard Ducky knocking on the bedroom door, trying to wake him up in time for work. Quickly he flipped the water lever so it would come from the shower. Weakly, he called out. "Taking a shower!"

Obviously not fooled, the M.E. opened the bedroom door and approached the bathroom door next. "Timothy, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Ducky. Gettin' in the shower."

"All right. Breakfast will be ready for you when you come down. Do not even think of skipping it. You've not eaten enough to satisfy a bird in the last 24 hours."

As the older man's voice faded as proof he was leaving the bedroom, Tim's head flopped back against the wall with a dull thump. _God, why wouldn't this pain go away?_ Maybe a shower will soothe it enough to make it tolerable _. Scratch that! Make it a bath. A nice relaxing, warm bath._

Tim turned the water on, tested it until he got it to the soothing temperate he wanted. He sat on the toilet seat while he waited for the water to fill up. Hurting, he forced himself to stand, his mind basking in a moment of escape into nothingness. When the water level was high enough, Tim took a breath and gingerly himself lowered himself down into not too hot water and very nearly screamed; his breath coming out in a mangled cry of agony, a strangled gasp while he tried desperately to lift himself back up out of the water, get his groin away from the merciless heat and touch. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ ** _Bad idea!_**

"Timothy!"

Ducky's frightened yell, stirred the young man into moving, albeit slowly, so he angled his head toward the door enough that his voice could be heard through the closed door. "I'm okay!"

"I beg to differ young man! That was _not_ the sound of _'okay'._ However, I will leave you to your privacy. Do not make me regret that decision by hiding a serious injury from me!"

"It's just my nose."

"Hmmm." The M.E. hummed in disbelief. "Very well.

"Ducky!"

"Yes, Timothy?"

"I don't think I can get any work done like this just yet."

"The very fact that you are admitting this to me, tells me something serious is going on with you, Timothy! However, I certainly have no problem issuing you a medically necessitated day of rest. I will take care of it. So long as you go nowhere and stay here and do just that - rest!"

"I promise, I won't do anything but take care of myself." Tim vowed, accidentally shifting to stay upright against the shower wall - fighting to hold back the painful cry as it agony began to lance through him again.

"Very well. I must go to work soon, however, I will check on you later on, young man!"

"Don't worry if I don't answer. I might be sleeping but I promise to return your calls."

"Very well, then. Your breakfast is warm in the oven. Do make sure you eat it."

"I will."

"I'll be back in a few minutes to check on you once more before I leave.. If you are not back in that bed, I shall come in there and see for myself that you are all right!"

As the outer bedroom door closed behind the retreating M.E. Tim dragged himself up off from the bottom of the tub, forced himself to move, carefully drying off and slipping his briefs back on, again choking back the exclamation of pain due to the unwelcome pressure.

He really needed that cup! Somehow, within the allotted time frame, he made it back to the bed, located and swallowed some extra-strength Tylenol and once again settled down on his pillow, his eyes closing in exhaustion, though sleep dangled just beyond his reach and the acute discomfort lingered.

As the M.E. returned, he said not a word, since it appeared the young man was sleeping, though after a careful moment of scrutiny, the tremors could be seen. "Oh, Timothy, what are you keeping from me." He murmured as he once again carded the miscreant hair into place behind Tim's ear. "I do hope you'll find it in your heart to trust me to help you. You are not meant to be an island, dear boy."

Having said that, Ducky turned and headed out, leaving Tm sorrowful with remorse. _How could he tell him? What would that do to the team? No one could know!_

Listening for the sound of the Morgan as the sure sign that the M.E. was leaving for work, Tim roused himself and forced himself to get up and get dressed. He had things he needed to do before he could take his life back tomorrow. But, damn it, take it back, he would!

 *****NCIS*****

Staring blankly at the results in front of her, Abby couldn't breathe. She'd been at this for hours but she knew that she knew that she hadn't made a mistake! She'd checked this three times. This couldn't be right. It just couldn't! There was no _way_ this could be right! Wiping a tired hand across her face, she looked again at what was before her, the workup on the blood and other carpet samples from Tony's apartment.

Even though she'd been gone from the yard for a day, in the short time she'd been back, the gossipmongers had still managed to come crawling through the crevices of the agency with tidbits of information not quite unimportant enough to completely disregard. She'd been heartbroken for Tony - hearing that he'd gone through something but couldn't remember what it had been, sends her fingers flying to her phone. While she's devastated to see unmistakable proof that her friend and big brother had a legitimate reason to not remember what happened last night, what proof she has can **not** be kept from the Director.

He'd been drugged! Drugged in a way that would have guaranteed he was aggressive and sexually aroused, with enough of a sedative that he wouldn't have been aware enough to understand what he was doing, but, he'd been brought home safely, so... with that many drugs in his system, It's no wonder Timmy had trouble getting out of there that night! The evidence was in the semen found...evidence of Tony's release ...

"Oh my God!" Abby whispered. The reports of Tim's physical state and almost fragile frame of mind yesterday that she's heard in the last few hours make perfect sense to her now in a way that shattered her heart. A sense of helplessness rushed through her at the realization of what awful reality had taken her guys hostage. "No! Oh, God, Tony, tell me you didn't!" She whispered in horror. "Oh, my God! What do I do with this?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** _Although the first five chapters were written years ago - they did_ ** _not have_** ** _any_** _Abby in them._ _  
_ _so it's taking some time to go back and carefully insert her into this story - without a BETA._

 _And_ ** _no_** _\- this will NOT be a McAbby. But that doesn't mean there can't be a_ ** _little_** _fence-mending along the way_

* * *

Before he could do anything his phone buzzed with an incoming message. Looking at it, he felt his world spin completely out of control.

 _Timmy_

Abby's abject sympathy literally oozed from her message, that one word - the name she used when she felt badly about something he was going through. _She knew. Oh, God!_ Of course she knew, lab samples were her life. _Now what?_

Not knowing what else to do, he replied to her text as shortly but as quickly as he could. _"You didn't see anything! PLS! ...Will talk as soon as poss."_

Though longer than he wanted, it included everything he needed her to see immediately. With bated breath he waited for her reply. He wasn't disappointed as it came back immediately.

" _Will talk NOW! Where r u?"_

Feeling cornered at the same time he felt like he still had a chance of controlling this, he immediately fired off a response with the truth. _"Ducky's."_

" _DON'T move! I'm coming over!"_

He wasn't surprised by her answer. Truth be told, he was slightly relieved. To have this knowledge that she alone had the proof of what Tony had done, that he could still keep a handle on it with her cooperation, was very uplifting. He made his way downstairs, waiting by the door for her to pull up.

As soon as he spied her coming down the road, he left the house and headed to the edge of the driveway to meet her there, not wanting her to bother turning off her car. He hoped to make this short since h had a lot to do today and it was going to take a good while to get it done.

Opening the passenger door of her car, he got in with as minimal display of discomfort as he can manage.

"Oh, my God! Timmy! You're still in pain? Did he...?"

"NO!" Tim shouted. "And please don't ask me to talk about it."

Having never heard her friend this upset, Abby immediately dialed back her reaction. Swallowing hard, she continued to look at him, although he had yet to look directly at her. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore, she had to let him know he wasn't alone in this. "Timmy, please! Look at me?"

With a sigh, Tim looked at her. Before he can say anything, she's speaking again, softer than he anticipated and with much more support than he'd imagined. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

"Thank you, Abby. That means a lot." Tim offers with a tired small smile.

"I mean it." She took one of his hands and covered it with her own. "You're not alone in this."

"Okay. I need it kept quiet. No one can know. Not Gibbs, Not Ducky, Not Tony, Not Ziva and definitely not Vance."

"Ok. But I need to know why we're keeping this MOS."

"Because I refuse to be the reason Tony goes to jail."

"Oh, Tim! Wait, I thought you said he didn't...?"

"At the very least it's Aggravated Sexual Battery, Abby." Tim reminded her with complete seriousness. "You know, sexual battery in which serious bodily injury occurs, which includes great bodily harm or pain. I can't let Tony's life be ruined by this. He can't ever know. No one can. Word gets out, Tony's career is over, his life will never be the same. Not doing that to him. Now can we change the subject please?"

"Oh, Tim!" She quietly exclaimed while struggling to process what he'd just said.

"Abby, I'm begging you! Don't make me talk about it any more!"

"Okay. Why are you at Ducky's?"

"Needed help getting some sleep. And getting my battered nose looked at."

"What else do you need, Tim? How can I help? Have you talked to anyone about it - like Dr. Rachel?"

"No. Abby, I can't go to anyone who would report it back to Vance!"

"Okay. I don't like it, but okay."

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Nope. Not due back til tomorrow."

"Then, how did...why did...?"

"I missed my babies. All the evidence was there waiting for me."

"And they're gonna know you've been in."

"Doesn't matter. Everything's locked up tight and stowed away out of sight in an even more secure place. And, I'm still on my time."

"Okay. Thank you, I appreciate that." Tim began opening the car door, needing to get going on his list of things to do.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Abby asked in surprise. "I thought we could hang out, you know talk, go out to eat, spend some time together."

"I would like that, Abby, but I REALLY have to get going on what I need to do today."

"Wait, why aren't you at work if you're feeling better?"

"Because I'm not 'feeling better.' " Tim gripes back with a bit of a grumpy attitude.

"Get back in here and talk to me! I can take you wherever you have to go while we talk. In case you haven't figured it out yet, Buster, We're in this together now!"

"Abby..."

"Please, Tim! Let me help you! You said yourself there's no one else that can even find out about this. I'm all you've got - but I'm also in your corner."

Tim nodded. "Thanks. If you're serious about helping me today, there's some places I need to go."

"Okay. Good. That's better. Now, just tell me where and Abby' mobile will get you there."

With a tiny grin, Tim conceded. "Ok."

 *****NCIS*****

"So, Probie asked for the day off?" Tony asked for the third time that morning. Disbelief was the word of the day so far, as even Ziva was having trouble with hearing this news. Of course, knowing that Tony had come across such information by eavesdropping lessened her trust in the delivery, but only until she found the serious looks on the older men's faces when the subject came up. It was clear they were both worried about it. Coupled with the conversation she'd had with Tim the day before as well as Ducky last night, it spiked her concern considerably. Her promise not to dig at the forefront of her mind, Ziva kept her mouth closed and said nothing.

"Anthony! For heavens' sake!" Ducky exclaimed with irritation as they worked the crime scene they'd just been called to together. "If what you so rudely eavesdropped upon bothers you that much, why don't you simply ask if you may come for dinner tonight and see for yourself that he is alright?"

"Can I?"

"For now, let's concentrate on our poor dearly departed shall we?"

"Before I shoot you, myself, DiNozzo." Gibbs growled as he approached Ziva and helped her bag and tag while Tony finally put the fresh case at the front of his attention and began snapping the photos.

"I just mean, he's never done that before. And I don't believe in coincidences." Looking straight at the boss now, Tony's voice took on an edge. "Any more than _you_ do."

Gibbs knew what Tony meant. If this had something to do with the 'off' feeling Tony had about what happened the other night, they needed to get to the bottom of it and the only way to do that was to talk to McGee - who, for the first time in his career - was taking a non-sick, sick day for himself - not for his sister. Gibbs knew that Ducky's making it an official sick day for the agent didn't change the facts. Sure, he was still in need of physical down time, and maybe that qualified the day as a genuine sick day, but there was something else going on, there was no doubt about that.

Lessoning the anger in his tone, the boss answered the Senior Field Agent. "We do it Ducky's way."

Tony breathed out a sigh of relief that the boss clearly understood what he was worried about here. "Okay." Having settled that, the young man was finally able to focus on the job at hand, once again, taking photo after photo, losing himself in the task, for the first time that day, not thinking about Tim.

***NCIS***

Four hours, a trip to the store heroically saved by Abby going in to get what he needed, two miserable hours in the waiting room alone because he didn't want her associated publically with this and one excruciatingly painful examination later, Tim was back at Ducky's gingerly sliding into the guest bed, completely exhausted. The morning in his doctor's office had been excruciating, bearing through the necessary poking, prodding and humiliating x-rays until he'd been given the verdict' an answer to his prayer, actually. _Bruised and battered but not broken. It would hurt like hell for another couple of days or so but then it should begin to start feeling better again. No sex for six weeks and no physical contact with anything that could cause more pain or damage - such as a massaging shower. Six weeks of baths - somehow managed less pain filled than today's attempt._

Too relieved that it wasn't permanent, Tim had left the office mentally smiling for the first time since his nightmarish run in with his teammate. Pain medication prescription in hand, he'd gladly handed it over to Abby as she reminded him that she wasn't just going to sit there and not help him. Getting her to stop by his apartment for a fresh change of work clothes had been a huge help and had helped him finally shed the worry and fear about his physical state being permanent while resting his eyes during the ride back to the M.E.'s house.

Now back at the kindly older man's home, Tim checked for messages, feeling relieved as he found none and slipped into the comfortable bed, protective cup in place beneath his briefs. Confident that the problem had been handled, Tim tried to drift off to sleep, one thought on his mind: _Thank God for Abby!_

******NCIS******

Back in the office, Gibbs meandered down to Abby's lab, almost expecting her to have come in on her last day off. She'd long been addicted to this place and seldom stayed away for more than 12 hours at a time, even when she's not supposed to be here. Glancing around her dark lab, he stopped short at the sight of her bare table.

Where the hell was the container of evidence from Tony's apartment that had been left for her to process? Looking around more carefully, he noted the almost full trashcan with countless Caf-Pow cups in it, testament to the fact that she had indeed come in and processed that evidence.

So, then where was her report? Where was she? What the hell was going on?

******NCIS******

Letting Tim sleep, Abby puttered around Ducky's library, choosing a book to read before taking herself upstairs to sit watch over her friend. He may have thought he wanted to go through this alone, but she knew him better than he knew himself and he needed to have someone show him they cared. Even something as insignificant as watching over him as he slept could be meaningful, even if in some small way.

Barely settled into the easy chair by the window that she'd positioned so she could still keep an eye on Tim, Abby practically leapt back up to her feet at the unexpected sound of her phone ringing. Quickly, she snapped it open. "Gibbs?"

 _"Get your butt back in here!"_

"But, Gibbs, it's my day off!"

 _"NOW, Abigail!"_

With her heart in her throat, she closed her phone and glanced over at her friend. Finding his green eyes watching her with worry saddened her. "Don't worry. He won't hurt me."

"He finds out you're keeping it from him, he'll fire you." Tim mourned. "I hate asking you to lie to him, but..."

"But protecting Tony on this is too important because we both know he didn't mean to do it."

"Do we?"

Approaching the bed, Abby sat down and took his hand in hers as she looked into his eyes. "He was drugged, Tim. He didn't realize what he was doing. And he REALLY didn't realize it was you he was doing it to."

"Oh, God! This just keeps getting better and better!" Tim muttered as he flopped back against the headboard. "Now, he REALLY can't ever find out!"

"He'd be devastated."

"I know."

"I'm hoping he never remembers. But, it's possible he might get some of that night back in the next day or so."

"God, I hope not."

"Look, I'll _handle_ Gibbs, Tim. Don't worry about it. Please?"

"Too much to ask, Abby. This is too big." Tim shook his head in denial of her request.

"Ok. Well, at least _try_ not to worry about it."

"Ok. Have I told you lately how great you are?" He asked her with genuine appreciation for what she was willing to do for him here.

"It's the least you deserve after the crappy way I've treated you over the years." She smiled thinly. "I've been pretty awful to you at times."

With a tired smile, he silently watched her get up and head out. He couldn't say anything to that because she was right but here and now, all that mattered was the current mess he was in. Before she's completely gone from the room, he called out. "Thank you!"

"That's what a real friend does, Tim." She said sadly as she turned the corner and disappeared from view.

The sound of her footsteps on Ducky's stairs, let him know she was indeed going to face the fire of Gibbs' wrath. Inwardly, Tim prayed that somehow she'd figure out what to say without setting that bloodhound further on the trail of this. Pondering her last words he wondered if she'd somehow had an awakening of just how much of a friend she'd not been to him in those terrible times she'd just spoken of. Whatever happened, the change in her was really nice.

*******NCIS*******

"Hi, Gibbs!" Abby cheerfully greeted him as she walked into her lab, not at all surprised to find him waiting for her there.

"Somethin' you wanna tell me, Abby?"

"I don't like it when you call me Abigail." She replied without hesitation.

"Knew that."

"I know you knew that."

"Quit stallin!"

"It's not here, Gibbs and I don't have any report to give you because I didn't run any tests on it. I sent it all out - chain of evidence and untainted case and all that rhetoric. "

"Why, Abby?"

"Protocol, Gibbs!"

Glaring at her, The Team Leader scrutinized her for tell-tale signs she was lying. He knew in his gut that she would never send something like that out of house for strangers to nose around with. Something about this was in her own words, hinky. Realizing this was one of those times she'd dug her heels in, he let her know he wasn't as gullible as she'd obviously hoped he be.

"Hinky, Abby." He turned to head out.

Before he reached the elevator, she called out "Not hinky, Gibbs. Necessary." Inwardly cursing her stupidity when he returns to her with a barked question.

"On whose' order?"

Abby felt the beginnings of nervousness. She'd almost had him and now..."my own judgment, Gibbs! You've never questioned it before when it comes to outsourcing evidence for a case! Besides, this isn't even a genuine Agency case!"

"Even more reason to keep it in house, Abby!" Gibbs growls. "Keep me updated! Get it back here as soon as they're done with it! Want you to double check their work!"

The ding of the elevator sent a whoosh of air through her as she breathed freely at last. Her next thought was that he was playing with her and so she ran out to the hallway and double-checked to see if he was really gone. She even snapped the stairwell door open and checked there. Relieved at being alone now she took a few calming breaths before heading back out. This was still her day off and damn it, she was taking it off!

*******NCIS*******

" _Timothy, I know you said you would most likely be napping so I'm leaving you this advance notice. Anthony and Jethro are coming for dinner tonight. I'd appreciate it if you would be so kind as to take out the roast from the freezer and set it in the sink to thaw, for me. I shall do the rest of the cooking for a roast dinner with vegetables when I get home. I do hope you're feeling better. I shall be home around six. Your teammates should be there close to seven. Surely you'll be hungry by then._

Tim's hand shook as he closed up his cell phone, catching a glimpse of the time as he did. Since he had in fact been napping when the M.E. called, it was going on four now. Given that it would take him time to get out of here, he had to start moving now! Taking out his pain pills, he poured them out into his hand, picking out one and putting the rest back before he put the cap back on the bottle, stuffing it down in his gym bag Ducky had brought him from work. Swallowing the tablet down with a large gulp of water, he set about getting ready to go.

With the protective cup still in place, he was able to move about almost normally now and had already stripped the guest bed for Ducky and made sure his guest bathroom was cleaned up as well before heading down stairs, his bag in tow. Making sure to eat the breakfast that had been left for him hours ago, he washed up the plate and left it in the dish drainer. Taking out the roast as the elder man had requested, Tim also went ahead and washed and sliced the potatoes, peeled the onions, washed the celery and carrots and set them all in a large crock pot filled with water for the upcoming dinner.

Knowing his cab was coming for him at any moment, Tim quickly scrawled out a note.

" _Ducky.  
Thanks for the advance notice on your dinner guests.  
Took care of the dinner preparations for you.  
Please forgive me, but I'm not up to company tonight.  
I do feel much better and will see you at work in the morning.  
Thank you so much for looking after me._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Timothy"_

As his ride honked outside, Tim dropped the pen, took up his bag and headed out, making sure to lock the door behind him. Smiling at the sight of Abby once again waiting to take him where he needed to, he walked to her car and stowed his overnight bag in the backseat before getting in the passenger seat. "How'd it go?"

"Not one of our finer moments." Abby answered regretfully. "But, I've thrown him off our scent for now."

"For now?'

"He wants me to track it since I sent it out of house for testing."

"Oh, God!"

"Piece of cake, Tim. I'll handle it."

"You already have a plan."

"I already have a plan." She vowed with a smile.

"Thank you, Abby." He breathed out in relief. "Wait, how did you know I needed a ride right now?"

"I overheard Tony talking about dinner plans with Ducky for tonight."

"Yeah, I'm defiantly not up for that!"

"Come on. I'm taking you home."

"Thanks."

****NCIS****

"I simply do not understand it!" Ducky lamented to his dinner guests. "Anthony, what in heaven's name happened the other night? Surely something happened that has Timothy spooked enough that he is unwilling to face you and hiding..."

Gibbs pounced. "Hiding _what_ , Duck?"

"Honestly, Jethro, I do not know. I just have this feeling that he is hiding something - from us all."

"Everyone's got secrets." Gibbs reminded him as they sat down to the roast dinner.

"I'm well aware of this, Jethro. However, as we are all also aware, Timothy is the least likely of your team members to admit when he is in trouble or needs help or even a shoulder to lean on."

"Yet, you gave him the perfect chance to have one and he bolted like a spooked horse." Tony remarked seriously. "This is just feeling more and more 'off'."

"Not gonna know til we talk to him and it obviously won't be tonight."

"Boss, he doesn't live that far from here." Tony objected.

"Anthony! If you had written that note - very clearly letting it be known that you wished to be left alone - would you want us to disregard your wishes and descend upon you like a pack of vultures after the prize of information you're obviously not prepared to share?" Ducky admonished.

"Well, when you put it like that, uhm, no." Tony admitted. "Guess we're not talkin' to him tonight."

"Not tomorrow either." Gibbs announced calmly.

"Boss?" Tony asked in surprise as the older two men nodded in silent agreement with each other.

"You heard Ducky, Tony. McGee's not ready. If and when he wants to talk, he'll talk. Until then we leave him alone."

"But, he probably knows what happened the other night and can fill in the blanks for me since I can't." Tony objected.

"Fillin' in those blanks more important to ya than respectin' McGee?" Gibbs asked sharply.

"Of course not." Tony denied defensively.

"Anthony. I realize you want answers for the time you cannot account for in your evening that night - but please be so kind as to do as Gibbs is pointing out to you - and respect Timothy's wishes first and foremost. Be patient and perhaps in time, he will provide you the answers you seek. Or maybe, they'll come back to you of their own accord."

"Sure hope so, since McSilent won't spill the beans." Tony griped.

 _**Thwack**_

"Ow, Boss?"

"Stop complainin' and start appreciatin' what he's done for ya, damn it!"

"I know, Boss. I know."

"Then perhaps you should _act_ like you know, Anthony." Ducky suggested pointedly.

"You're right." Breathing out a sigh, Tony stood up. "Thanks for dinner Ducky. And for the talk, both of ya's. I think I'm gonna head home and get some zzz's."

"Not yet, you're not." Gibbs instructed his agent calmly.

"Boss?"

"Nope. You've got KP duty."

"Huh?"

"McGee prepped our meal before he left, Ducky cooked it, least you and I can do is clean up."

"Aw, man!"

 ******NCIS******

"Jethro, what is it? You've barely touched your coffee since Anthony departed some thirty minutes ago." The concerned M.E. asked his friend while they sat in his library trying to enjoy after dinner coffee and tea.

"Abby." The shortness of the answer came as no surprise even if the content certainly did.

Not knowing where Gibbs was headed with this, Ducky stuck something out there that would most likely lure the rest of the story from the younger man. "Yes, we have certainly missed her spirited presence this week. I understand she will be back tomorrow."

"She went in this mornin'"

Surprised again, this time the older man couldn't keep it from his voice. "She did?"

"Yeah."

"And this has you troubled."

"Sent the evidence from Tony's apartment out for testing."

"Oh dear. Why on earth would she do that?"

"Said we were too close to it. Said she made a judgment call and that it was protocol."

"Oh, good Heavens! Surely, she knows that does not hold water!" Ducky exclaimed in disbelief.

"Not an actual case." The Team Leader reminds his friend.

"Well, I suppose that is true enough."

"Somethin' hinky about her doin' it, though."

"I agree."

"Told her to keep track of it, get it back when it's been tested and double check behind them."

"How did she react to that?"

"It scared her, Duck." Gibbs looked directly at his long-time friend with his piercing blue eyes, "I wanna know why."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** _Humble apologies to_ _Singing Silverwings -_ _(and whoever else did not notice_ _the_ _ **Warning**_ _in_ _ **bold letters –**_ _pasted in the beginning of this story_ _ **. )**_

 _There was no warning for 'Slash' – because_ _ **there is**_ _ **no ongoing slash**_ _storyline here._

* * *

Morning found Tim taking his time getting out of bed after a much more restful night and taking the time for a warm bath. Some forty minutes later, he was dressed and geared up for the day, mentally psyching himself up for the task ahead. He could get past this, with Abby's continued support. He was sure of it. _Today,_ he was taking his life back.

Driving to work, he actually found himself beginning to relax about the upcoming day. At the moment, everything was beginning to feel almost normal again and as far as he was concerned, there wasn't any reason it wouldn't stay that way, so long as he didn't have to think or talk about _'the incident'_ as he now thought of it. He hoped and prayed that it would be dropped like the hot potato it was, especially because he didn't want to see Abby in trouble for what he'd asked her to do. Tim found himself hoping there wouldn't be any more pressure applied regarding that evidence. That was the one thing that could certainly skewer things for all of them. In fact, it would mean things would never be the same around here.

As he slid into his desk chair less than fifteen minutes later, Tim relished the earliness of the hour and the peace and quiet it carried with it. Booting up his work station, he perused his emails, cleaning them out as he went, flagging the important ones he'd need to go back and handle a second time. Making his second round through them and this time taking the time to reply to each one, time flew by and before he knew it, the elevator was announcing the arrival of the beginning of the work day, rousing Tim from his 'lost in work' state of mind. As he slowly stood to carefully stretch his back and his muscles, the arrival of Ziva brought a tentative smile to his face.

"Good morning." He offered almost shyly.

As Ziva dropped her bag at her desk and made a beeline for his, Tim tensed up and took a step back, without even realizing it until he tripped over his own chair and had to steady himself by clamping his hand down on the back of it. Seeing this, she frowned and stopped in front of his desk, rather than on the side of it that was open to him. "McGee. Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks."

"You do not look it. You look as though you expect me to hurt you. Do you?"

"No. I'm just a little jumpy, I guess. Nothing personal, Ziva." Tim replied honestly.

"Well, I am glad you are back and feeling better." Ziva said as she stepped back a step.

"Thanks." Tim offered, visibly relaxing only after she'd moved. "Guess I should go talk to Abby." He said although he made no move to do so.

Though her eyebrows raised up at his noticeable reaction, Ziva did not comment on it. Instead, she continued to carry on with their conversation, ignoring the fact that they all knew that they were all aware of where Abby had been and when she was expected to return. "She was not here yesterday. She was at a science conference. I do believe she is expected back later this morning"

"Oh, that's right. Well, good. Then that's one explanation I won't have to give." Tim threw out with a little too much enthusiasm. Inwardly, he frowned He wasn't good at lying Hopefully, Ziva would leave this alone without calling attention to his piss-poor attempt at it here.

"Do you have one, McGee?" Ziva questioned with all seriousness.

"Just wasn't feeling well, Zee. Guess having my nose almost broken did a lot more damage than I realized."

"Wait. What do you mean having it almost broken? I thought you told Gibbs that you accidentally did that to yourself?"

Inwardly head-slapping himself, Tim swallowed hard as he looked over at her. "Slip of the tongue, Ziva. I did do it to myself – you know me, always clumsy."

Ziva looked long and hard at him, her eyes narrowed in disbelief and rising anger. Looking harder, she saw the injured, haunted look about him that had not gone away, merely lessened. With sympathy and the respect he'd not only asked for but earned, she dialed things down. "If you need anything, McGee, you only have to ask.

You do not have to pack this burden alone." She reminded him as she returned to her desk and turned her attention to her own emails, effectively ending the conversation for now, although the slight grin on her face told of her deliberate wording just now.

Chuckling, Tim found himself almost shaking with laughter at her mis-use of that expression, although this time he left well enough alone.

" _Carry,_ Ziva, _Carry_." Tony chimed as he stepped around the corner from the elevator, having arrived amidst Ziva's closing declaration. "Jeesh, how long have you been here, now and still not getting this easy stuff right?" He turned his attention and focus to his friend and team mate, he greeted him. "Hey, Probie, missed one day of work and already you've got Ziva offering sympathy and a funny."

Tim froze. He couldn't help it. Just hearing that voice was as if he were swept back in that moment when the older man had so much to say the other night, when he'd been hell bent on ….swallowing hard, he fought the memories, shoving them back as he blinked a few times. Somehow, all discussion with Abby on this subject had vacated the building, leaving him flying solo with his not yet controlled knee-jerk response. "Tony." He managed to croak out before resolutely turning back to his work.

"You all right, Probie? Not like you to take a sick day." Tony remarked seriously as he approached his probie's desk. He already regretted the flippancy he'd just started the day off with a mere moment ago, after the events of the last two days. His old habits were still in full force, unfortunately and there was no taking any of it back in any way that mattered.

"I'm fine. Now I need to catch up on my work." Tim fairly snapped out as his defenses threw themselves into high gear, desperate to keep the older man away before he got too physically close or even verbally close to _'that'_ conversation. _That_ could never happen again! Come to think of it, getting too close was possible on more than one level in this situation.

With a frown, Tim mentally hoped and prayed that wouldn't happen. Too much was at stake. Too much hurt would be the result. No one deserved that.

Hearing the strain in the young man's tone and not missing the way he tensed up so tight he looked like he was ready to explode, Tony backed off and changed direction, going to his own desk instead. "Well, never let it be said that you're a slacker, McGee." He attempted to soothe his obviously troubled friend.

"And yet, you've called him that several times before, DiNozzo." Gibbs remarked as he sauntered though the squad room on his way to his desk. As he passed Tim's desk, he stopped and backed up a step. "McGee. You all right?"

Respect demanded that Tim look at the man as he answered him so he stopped what he was doing and did just that, very briefly. "Yeah, Boss. I'm fine."

Gibbs hadn't liked what he'd heard before making his presence known just now. Having heard Tony's flippancy turned seriousness, he was seriously concerned all the way around but desperate to keep things normal for his team. Not yet satisfied with the less than normal tone in his youngest agent's voice, as he took a minute to seriously scrutinize him, stubbornly remaining in place at the front of Tim's desk.

The heat of the man's gaze was felt quite clearly. After only a moment of this tense silence, Tim sighed and glanced up at him again, this time forcing himself to maintain the exchange longer. "Boss, I'm _fine_ "

He heard the biting edge creeping into Tim's tone and he was far from comfortable with the obvious knowledge that the young man was still upset about something. But he wasn't willing to make a bigger issue out of things than absolutely necessary, so he merely nodded at him and walked to his own desk, dropping the matter where it lay. He frowned even deeper when the audible sigh of relief from across the room reached his ears a mere five seconds later.

 ******NCIS******

Back at work on regular time, Abby's morning was a beehive of activity with the case the MCRT worked yesterday. With her music on a medium volume that was a huge step below the normal deafening volume she worked in, she tediously moved about, her movements nowhere near as bouncy as usual.

Watching her from the doorway, Ducky frowned. Something was definitely wrong. Jethro was right about that. Perhaps he could drag it out of her. Stepping forward, he deliberately infiltrated her line of vision.

"Ducky!" She threw herself at the older man, as she literally fell into his now open arms. "I've missed you!"

"And I, you, my dear."

"So, what brings you to my humble lab?"

"I thought I might ask how you were able to handle the evidence that had been left for you on Monday night. It could not have been easy coming in to find that waiting for you." Ducky replied with his true cautious nature intact.

"Didn't Gibbs tell you? I sent it out for an absolutely objective lab to handle it." Abby stared at him in surprise.

"So he did." Ducky remarked pointedly.

"And you're down here asking me about it because he's not satisfied with my answers?" She surmised with anger almost tangible.

"Rather, he's _concerned_ with them, Abigail." Ducky informed her. "He's quite convinced that you are hiding something from him. And he will not rest until he knows what it is."

The look of alarm didn't go unnoticed by the M.E. "Ah, it appears Jethro was correct."

"About what?" She asked sharply, her nerves getting the better of her.

"He believes the idea of going over those test results when they come back, terrifies you."

Turning away from him quickly, Abby fought to regain her breath, as shock and panic struggled to take it from her. Now what was she gonna do? What trump card did she hold that would help Tim now? The only way she was going to be able to avoid this; these questions – was to do something drastic! Would it work? No! She couldn't run – no sudden vacation would help her friends through this. It was her job to stay and help them fight through this, to come out as unscathed as possible, considering both were going to get hurt in some degree regardless how this played out. Turning back around, she squared her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know why he thinks that, but he's wrong."

"Abby. _Whateve_ r it is, we can help." The Medical Examiner tried to coax her into letting him in.

Turning back to face her machines, she disagreed. "I don't need help. Ducky. I'll have these results ready for Gibbs before lunch."

"Oh, Abigail." Ducky mourned. Turning he headed out of her lab. By the time he reached the elevator, it hit him like an epiphany. The pieces fell together like a well played puzzle, instead of the brand new one that it was. Without a word, he retreated to his own sanctuary. There as much to investigate before anything was said, to anyone.

 ******NCIS******

By the time break time had arrived, Tim was more than ready for a breath of fresh air and was quick to volunteer to make a coffee run. The time had flown by with every effort being made to focus on the active case – and for all intents and purposes, things were all things normal for the team and even for Tim. That was, until the Boss Man pulled the rug out from under him.

"Nope. Need you and Tony to go get this guy." The Team Leader pointed to the man in his cold case file.

As soon as the order had left his mouth, Gibbs witnessed his youngest agent's sudden need to hit the head. Tim's feet moved so fast, it looked as though he had just flown across the room. The others sat dumbfounded and worried but still did nothing to rush him or crowd him. Instead they waited patiently for Tim to return and explain.

When ten minutes had gone by with no sign of McGee coming back out, Tony offered to go in and get him. He'd taken all of two steps when Ziva stopped him.

"Tony, wait!"

"What, Da'vid?" Tony asked impatiently.

"We may not know what is bothering McGee. But we _do_ know that right now, he is unable to deal with being physically close to anyone."

"We do?"

"Yes, that much I have seen for myself." Turning her attention to the Team Leader, she spoke again. "Gibbs, _I_ will go with Tony this time, yes?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah, go. And Tony. Not a word about this when you get back."

"Not a peep, Boss." Tony promised in all seriousness

 *****NCIS*****

Gibbs sighed as he watched his agents head out. Once they were gone, he turned and took himself to the head, needing to retrieve his missing agent and try to get to the bottom of this. Pushing the door open, he was stopped in his tracks at the sight of his computer whiz cum very capable and competent field agent leaning back against the wall, a sheen of sweat drenching his face, as tremors shook his frame while his eyes stared sightlessly in front of him.

Now even more seriously worried, the Team Leader deliberately dropped his tone and made sure his voice was deliberately soothing as he attempted to reach out and connect with his agent. "Tim. I think it's time you told me what happened the other night."

As if a switch had been flipped, Tim's entire body tensed in what Gibbs recognized as a 'flight or fight' response. Without even having to think about it, the words came to him, as he desperately worked to help his agent now.

"Easy, Tim. Easy…you're safe here." The older man tried to soothe the fear he could still see in Tim's eyes. When the younger man remained stock still, it occurred to the Team Leader that it was because he felt too crowded and suffocated. Carefully, he stepped back, keeping his movements slow. "You're okay, Tim. But we do need to get out of the head, all right?"

Silently, Tim wiped his hands across his face and waited until the older man had finished moving, leaving him the space he needed to leave the room without feeling crowded. Tim practically ran as he made his getaway past the boss. Without missing a beat, he made a beeline for his desk and sat back down with a grimace of pain at his own lack of care for his still healing injuries. In the silence of the room, despite the worried scrutiny of the boss who'd followed him out of the head, Tim once more started working on his keyboard.

"Talk to me." Gibbs encouraged quietly from where he came to perch on the front corner of the young man's desk.

"Nothing to tell." Tim argued quietly without looking up.

The rarity of that lack in manners shook Gibbs even more. It gave him more to be concerned about and more to dig his heels in about. In that tone of his that promised he was nothing but concerned, the boss did something unusual. He made a genuine request, allowing his concern to be obvious. "Tim, can you _look_ at me?"

With a deep sigh of frustration, Tim stopped working but his eyes failed to move off his screen. A shudder rippled through him as if he were fighting within himself to do as he'd been asked. Finally, after an endlessly long silent minute, his eyes came up and met those of his now worried boss. "I'm fine."

"Tony told me what happened the other night."

All the color drained from Tim's face and panic moved in with a vengeance so blatant, Gibbs heart took an extra beat with concern, as the young man's breath audibly caught in his throat. While his chest seemed to grow smaller with constriction, Tim could only shake his head in denial, he could do little else but struggle to breathe.

Gibbs hurried to his own desk, punched the button on his phone that was connected directly to Autopsy and told the M.E. to double time it up to the squad room for a medical emergency. He quickly disconnected the call, yanked open his bottom desk drawer, grabbed a paper bag and snapped it open as he ran back to his agent and put the bag in front of the struggling man's face.

"Easy, Tim. Slow your breathing down."

"Jethro? What… Oh, dear. Here, let me….That's it, Timothy. Relax. Breathe in, breathe out. That's it dear boy, keep going. Breathe in, breathe out. All right, let's move this to a more private place, shall we?"

"Conference room." Gibbs instructed quietly as he led the way, shielding Tim from possible onlookers in the front while Ducky did so from behind.

As the older two escorted him through the squad room, Tim kept the paper bag by his side, letting his breathing become irregular once more, so long as he wasn't a walking- talking embarrassment. Once inside the privacy of the conference room, he once again allowed himself to depend on the bag to help him though this panic that didn't seem to want to leave him.

"What on earth happened?" Ducky asked in distress.

"I told him Tony told me what happened the other night."

And then what happened?"

" _This_ happened, Duck. Well this and all the color drained out of his face."

"I suppose this confirms that whatever happened that night _is_ underneath whatever Timothy has been trying to handle alone. I had suspected as much."

"Had a strong feelin' it was. Cinched it when he panicked at the order to go with Tony to pick up a suspect."

"Ah, I see. May I?"

"Not leavin'" Gibbs told him even as he back up to the corner across from his agent where he could continue to look after him without being in the way.

"I suspected as much. Timothy, can you breathe freely now?"

Setting the bag aside, Tim gave a slight nod as he worked to get his breathing normal, but his eyes refused to look either of them straight on.

"Why don't you tell us what is going through your mind right now, Timothy?" Ducky asked soothingly.

"What… did he say …happened?" Tim finally spoke, his voice shaky yet determined as he glanced briefly at his boss.

"That you got called to pick him up from the bar in the middle of the night again. Somethin' you've been goin' through for the past two weeks with him. Why didn't you tell me, Tim?" Gibbs wondered without censure.

"What _else_ _…_ did he say?" Tim sidestepped the question to ask his own in his normal tone that let others know he was less than happy with the topic of conversation.

Gibbs exchanged looks with the M.E. before answering the question. "He knows he was more plastered than usual. It's why he doesn't remember anything that happened after his friends left him at the bar that night."

"Why's he _doing'_ this?" Tim asked, hoping to finally hear what had been eating at Tony so badly he'd needed to get sloshed every night. He hoped the boss knew that he wasn't just talking about the events of last night; but of the whole drinking crisis in the first place.

"Issues with his father." Gibbs left the explanation at that, not realizing how such a simplistic response would affect the young man in front of him.

Instantly, anger rose up within Tim so fast and hot, he felt the need to punch something. S _eriously? Tim had his own father issues with a father who hadn't spoken to him in seven years! Didn't_ _ **that**_ _hurt like hell? Enough with DiNozzo, Senior already! Damn it why was it always about Tony's less than perfect relationship with a father who at least tried to be there for him now_?

He managed to get a grip on the anger, just barely, enough to refrain from lashing out. Instead, he launched himself out of the corner and headed out of the room. _For this, he'd been damn near….? Oh, hell, no!_

Without a filter on his tone or his words, Tim threw something out there, to keep his actions from being misconstrued as rude. "I need to get back to work!"

Watching him walk away, Gibbs and Ducky remained behind, baffled and needing to put their heads together to figure this out. What the hell had just happened here?

 **********NCIS********

Thinking hard as he walked, Tim reasoned with himself. Reminded that Tony didn't remember anything from that night, he now could breathe easier and go back to functioning as if nothing _had_ happened. So long as he wasn't asked to go anywhere with the older man, he'd be just fine. Right?

Forcing himself to calm down, Tim returned to his desk and attempted to dive back into his work. Getting lost in code, _that_ would do the trick. It had always worked before. With a sigh, he closed his eyes briefly and reopened them determined not to lose focus from his work.

"Timmy!" Abby came rushing up to him, all thoughts of running off to hide while her friend was left to deal with his problem alone, gone in the wind as soon as she'd heard he'd freaked out up in the squad room and had to be taken elsewhere to calm down.

"I'm okay, Abbs. But, thank you." He told her as she wrapped him in a hug.

Feeling him stiffen before he tried to relax, Abby backed up and settled on the corner of his desk, her hand massaging his nearest shoulder. "What happened?" She quietly asked with genuine worry.

Sighing, Tim sat back and looked at her, not surprised to see her immediately come down off his desk and bend her knees to kneel at his feet so they could talk quietly. "Gibbs told me to go with Tony to pick up a suspect."

"And you completely forgot what I told you about what state he was in that night, so you freaked out at the idea of being alone with him." She surmised with compassion.

"Yeah. I mean, sort of. It's like my brain can't get there, Abby."

"Cut yourself some slack, okay?" She offered sympathetically.

Tim sighed. "I'm trying. But I just got so pissed when Gibbs told me Tony's been getting sloshed almost every night because of his old man. At least _his_ gives a damn about him! Why can't Tony appreciate _that_?"

"Where is this coming from, Tim?" She asked in surprise. He'd never reacted like this before and in fact, never shed an iota of info on his own father, with the exception of a few off the head remarks over the years if they happened to fit the topic of conversation at the time. Was this a manifestation of his repressing whatever was wrong between his father and him?

"I'd give anything to have an old man who wanted to fix things with me, like _his_ does, Abby! His old man is practically jumping through hoops to get his attention – mine hasn't given me the time of day for 7 years!"

Instantly, she got to her feet and embraced him again. "Oh, Timmy, no wonder you've hardly ever talked about your dad!" She hugged him tighter for the briefest of moments before backing up. She looked closely at him. "Even with that going on with you, _this_ isn't like you. There's something else going on here, isn't there? What else is bothering you?"

"Gibbs reminded me that Tony doesn't remember." Tim sighed heavily. He was tired of even thinking about this but relieved at the same time that he had someone he could confide in, at long last. It felt good to get it out, the fact that he had no relationship to speak of with his own father and sorely missed that in his life.

We knew that was a possibility, right? But, I'm pretty sure you feeling pissed about it now is natural. After all, _you're_ the one going through all this upheaval while keeping it away from the others. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Any time you feel stressed, do it again."

"I can do that."

"I know. In the meantime, I'm only phone call or text away.'

"No expectation of privacy, Abby." Tim reminded her.

"Right. What was I thinking?"

"What a good friend would think." Tim offered with gratitude.

"Exactly. Ok. I have to get back to work"

"Ok."

"Call me if you need me." She instructed firmly as she stood back up.

"I will." Tim promised as she walked away. He frowned as it hit him, what he'd just said, what _she'd_ said **yesterday**. "Abby!"

Turning back around, she hurried back to his desk. "Something wrong?"

"Tony doesn't remember!"

"We know that already, Tim." She said patiently.

"Tony doesn't remember _because_?" He returned the show of patience as he deliberately dropped the level of their conversation to very quiet.

"Tim. I told you this yesterday, remember? He was drugged….oh, my God! He was drugged! By..." Abby practically shouted, horrified that she'd somehow forgotten to follow through with this better than any other case.

"His college friends." Tim finished for her, both of them jumping when the sound of the elevator broke through their private discussion, their eyes locked together in a mild state of panic.

"Man, what a waste of time!" Tony gripped as he stormed to his desk, tossing his 'go bag' to the floor behind it. "Guy was so wasted, he couldn't have seen an elephant if it had been sittin' on him! _Wait_ a minute! _Why_ are you two looking so guilty? _What_ have you done? C'mon, you know you can tell Uncle Tony, right?"

"Tony." Abby said with restrained warning wrapped in welcome.

Instantly his focus changed, as did his tone of voice. All his attention was now focused on his 'little sister' "Hey, Abbs! Welcome back!" Tony walked to greet her but he stopped short at the troubled look on her face. "Uh, oh. What'd I miss?"

"Tony, I heard about what happened! You _can't_ go out with those college friends of yours again!" She said firmly.

" _What?_ Not go out with Keven 'the Ace of Cards' Green or Marty, 'Flyboy' McMahan? C'mon, we're the "Three Musketeers!" Tony nonchalantly threw back at her, apparently not yet putting the pieces of the puzzle together

"Tony!" She firmly grabbed his attention.

"Abby, what?"

"They left you there at that bar, alone!" She hissed, angry on more than one level for that fact.

"Yeah. That they did." Tony's devil-may-care attitude was obvious and baffling at the same time.

'Tony! Those are not the kinds of friends you should be hanging out with!" Abby pushed, getting even angrier now.

"I'm a big boy, Abby. I can take care of myself." Tony shot back arrogantly without even thinking about it.

"That is why McGee got hurt taking you home, yes?" Ziva pitched in with unmistakable anger of her own from behind her own desk.

Her arrival hadn't been noticed and her sudden input startled the other three in the room. Ziva glanced over at McGee and noticed that he was staring, not at Tony in all his defensive flippancy and posturing, but at Abby as she tried to get through to the stubborn Senior Field Agent. She frowned. Had he confided in Abby and was he now worried that she would spill his beans? Ziva's eyes remained locked on the two of them now as she watched with grave concern.

Sobered now with that sharp reminder, Tony's attitude fell away, instantly replaced with the genuine emotions of gratitude and concern he'd felt directly on the heels of the incident at the heart of this discussion Suddenly, he needed to get something off his chest. He turned back in Tim's direction. Unhappy that the young man refused to look his way, Tony bit the bullet and said his peace anyway. It had to be said. Hopefully, no matter what else was bothering Tim, he would at least hear this.

"Yeah, about that… hey, McGee, I've been meanin' to say this already. Thanks, man. For what you did for me that night."

" _Don't_ thank me for that, Tony! Tim replied with a straight face, his tone clearly edging toward anger. Turning sharply in his chair, Tim set and locked his eyes onto his monitor, not letting them waver for a second.

"What? Why not?" Tony asked in clear confusion. Seeing Tim turn to look at his computer instead of him while he spoke just now, had been disconcerting to say the least. Mentally sighing, Tony pushed harder to make peace with him. "Look, man, I'm sorry, all right?"

"Please. Can we just drop this?" Tim asked, his tone bordering on angry.

Walking up to her former lover, Abby quietly worked to calm him down, being careful to lower her voice so that only he could hear what she had to say. "Tim. It's okay. He's trying."

"We _need_ to let this go, Abby." He begged her so quietly, she almost had to bend down to hear his words.

"And we will. As soon as he gets the point. I promise." She vowed before she walked back over to Tony. Standing close enough to him now that she no longer needed to raise her voice, Abby looked at Tony with all the seriousness she could muster. "Tony, you're missing my point."

"Okay, Abby, I'll bite. What point of yours am I missing?" Tony's deliberate hold on his patience was actually visually clear. His eyes travelled back and forth between the stubborn lab rat and the obviously upset computer whiz. What the hell was going on here?

"You know what, Tony? You're a street-smart cop, who's seen more than his fair share of crappy, dishonest things people do to each other, so figure it out already!" Abby exclaimed impatiently.

"I have been meaning to follow up with those so-called friends of yours." Ziva tossed into the mix with complete seriousness.

"Why?" Tony's tone sharpened and his eyes darkened with a touch of anger as they now moved to Ziva while she admitted where her thoughts were on the subject.

"Because they left you alone in that bar. And because you cannot remember the rest of that night." She replied firmly with no hint of having any reason to think she was wrong.

With a tired sigh, Tony plopped down in his chair. "Yeah, still tryin' to figure that out. But as for my friends, leave them out of it. Them ditching me was just another prank between old college frat brothers, that's all. They probably figured I'd score with a hot chic and wind up wrapped around her in her bed or mine by the end of the night."

Tim's temper soared dangerously as he bit the inside of his lip to hold his tongue silent. His hands worked to handle the stressful situation by clenching and unclenching at his sides even as he held his breath in painfully long – all in the interest of forcing it slowly back out, giving him something else to do besides blowing up at Tony's attitude in the face of what he'd really done that night.

Seeing Tim fight desperately to keep silent with this fresh inadvertent insult, Abby shook her head in a silent plea to Ziva, for her to back off just as she herself made a point of leaving the discussion here and now. "Okay, well, I've got work to get back to so, toodles!"

Watching Abby, disappear around the corner, Tim spent one more silent moment fighting to regain his mental equilibrium and then returned his attention to his work, or rather the sudden need to send an email that was most urgent.

"What the hell just happened here?" Tony asked after a few silent moments of silently watching Tim. Even now as he watched the younger man typing with his usual fast speed, the Senior Field Agent couldn't shake the sense that somehow he'd missed something very important just now.

The sight of Ziva already looking to her own computer monitor as if closing the subject, had the Senior Field Agent frowning even deeper. Not getting an answer, Tony inwardly worried as Abby's seemingly out of the blue urgent message began to replay itself over and over in his mind. He sighed heavily as he forced himself to settle down in his chair. Why was it he felt like he was staring right at the answer to the big question without even realizing it?

Into this less than stable quiet, Gibbs returned, looked around in silent perusal of his team members and saw each of them trying to get back to all things normal. Respecting that about them and appreciating it fully, he decided to honor their efforts by doing the same thing himself, though he couldn't help but feel disappointed in Tony's about-face attitude towards those missing hours in his memory. Knowing the Senior Field Agent was just throwing up his typical façade to mask his true emotions, Gibbs forced himself to dial back on his reaction, throwing his thoughts into the other things on his mind. Maybe, just maybe they could get back on track now. _This isn't just gonna disappear into thin air, Probie. You need to fix this!_

Hearing his former mentor's voice in his head stopped Gibbs cold. Sitting back, he threw his pen onto his desk and blew out a huge sigh. Deceased or not, the voice of Mike was right. He needed to fix this mess with his boys. But how could he do that without scarring either of them? Thinking back on what he'd just witnessed from the edge of the squad room, his gut was already beginning to churn. The picture that formed in his mind when he input what he heard from Abby, saw in Tim and picked up underneath Tony's flippancy, was looking far from pretty. In fact, it was beginning to feel downright heartbreaking. Suddenly, he had an urgent need to talk to Ducky.

*******NCIS******

Almost before Abby had even reached her computer, it pinged at her with an incoming email. Seeing that it was from Tim, she opened it quickly, not really surprised at what she found.

 _Abby. Need to find these guys ASAP!_

She knew she'd been forgetting something! With her thoughts centered around her concern for Tim, who'd been violently assaulted and was still trying to deal with that while continuing to work in the same workspace as the one who'd done the assaulting, thatshe'd completely forgotten her obligation to get to the bottom of how Tony had gotten to that state to begin with! How the hell had she slipped this badly?

It scared her to think how close Tim in all likelihood, came to be actually raped in those moments. Had that happened, there would have been no salvaging the relationship, working or otherwise between the guys. Both of them would have been devastated and understandably so. Even without that happening, it was clear that the road between them was going to be pitted and difficult at the rate things were going. She was shaking just thinking about the likelihood, that the _only_ reason that full penetration _hadn't_ happened that night was because Tony had been too drunk anyway, even with the drugs added in.

With her breath catching in her throat, she forced that thought back even as she wondered if _Tim_ had thought about how close he'd come, if it was something that kept him awake at night now. Then again, she imagined that image was probably the _very_ reason he refused to talk about it, hated that they even had to deal with any of it now. With a sigh, she mentally hugged him, wishing he would be able to feel it somehow. No matter what Tim had said about not talking to a shrink, he really needed to and as soon as possible if his reaction upstairs just now was anything to go by. That was her next project, to get him to see that and to help him get there if he didn't already.

The more she thought about this, the more she realized, she was in over her head. She couldn't stay wrapped up in this mess alone without guidance, without Tim's peace of mind or her relationship with Tony and even Gibbs beginning to suffer. And because Tony was innocent by way of the drugged state he'd been in, she could not take sides between both of her friends. Something else she'd just realized was that because he _hadn't_ been responsible, Tony's job wouldn't even be an issue. That was something _else_ that she and Tim hadn't thought through before they'd begun to worry about it to the point of now having to hide this from everyone. _God, what a mess!_

Tim was right about one thing, though. Tony **would** be devastated if he found out, whether he'd been in a drugged state when he'd assaulted Tim that way or not. She hoped he **never** discovered the truth. With that concern alone, she understood Tim's unwillingness to tell anyone else, Gibbs' rule on keeping secrets aside. Speaking of rules, she sure hoped she'd handled Rule 7 right the night Gibbs had confronted her about the evidence. Even now, that rule came back to mind vividly as if taunting her. _Always be specific when you lie._

 ********NCIS*********

Strolling slowly into Autopsy, Gibbs was surprised the whooshing of the automatic doors failed to disturb his aging friend where he sat deep in thought at his desk. The Team Leader was quick to seek proof that everything was in fact okay. "Duck? You all right?"

Startled, the Medical Examiner twitched and quickly stood to his feet. "Jethro! You startled me."

"Hmm. I can see that. Somethin' wrong?"

"I think we both know the answer to that, my friend." Ducky answered sadly as he removed his glasses from his face and began wiping them clean on the cleaning cloth he kept readily available for such purposes.

"That what you're thinkin' about just now?"

"Yes. There are too many pieces to this puzzle but the ones that I have managed to put together are far from pretty or good for our Timothy and Anthony."

"Yeah."

"With your investigative skills, I would imagine you have been able to piece this together as well, despite Timothy's understandable unwillingness to discuss it."

"McGee comes to work battered and bruised."

"Let us not forget obviously traumatized." Ducky sadly reminded him.

Nodding his head in silent agreement, Gibbs made his next point. "Then we've got Abby. Came in on her off time. Tested the evidence but won't put it in a report. Lied about sending it out but won't say why."

"Let us not forget Anthony, too inebriated to recall anything that happened within the previous 12 hours."

"Think we both know what McGee's not tellin' us." Gibbs surmised painfully.

"Unfortunately, I believe we _have_ come to the same conclusion."

"Guessing. Can't go on that alone." Gibbs turned to head out. "Need to see what Abby's got, whether she likes it or not."

 _ ********NCIS*******_

 _Trust._ It was a _huge_ issue on this team. Everyone knew it; respected it, and took drastic measures not to cross the line on it, unless the job demanded it of them. Case in point, Tony's undercover assignment that damn near got him killed, compliments of Jenny and all because the team wasn't there to back him up.

The sudden lull in noise heard in the squad room, had Tim thinking. He hated like hell not to be able to let this burden go, set it down in the corner somewhere and forget about it. And he'd never been comfortable keeping secrets from Gibbs. But, because he couldn't just sweep this under the rug, Gibbs had honed in on it like the sharp-eyed eagle he usually was. Tim was becoming consumed with trying to find a way to satisfy the boss' need for answers so he could get Abby out of the hot seat – without having to talk to him, of all people, about the events of that night.

Without even thinking about it, the boss' rules started popping into his head, even though he'd already been operating on them from the very first moment he'd escaped Tony's clutches that night:

 _Rule 4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best_.

 _Rule 18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission._

 _The Unspoken Rule- You do what you have to do for family_

Fully aware that the Unspoken Rule had been initiated by Mike Franks and passed on to the rest of them by Gibbs, Tim knew that one was an umbrella rule, much like the one for Lawyers. And as far as Tim was concerned, this definitely fit under that umbrella. But until he could get Gibbs to understand he was just following those rules, HIS rules, there would be no peace of mind to be had about any of this. And then there was rule number one. _Rule # 1: Never screw over your partner.  
_

If any of what really happened got out, _that_ rule would be trampled underfoot very quickly. Glancing around, he noted that only Tony and Ziva were in the squad room with him. Thankfully, both of them were engrossed in the cold case in front of them. Slipping away, Tim sighed. Maybe it was time to talk to Abby about how to say something to Gibbs, without saying much of anything at all.

 _ ********NCIS*******_

Ducky sighed. This was not going to be pleasant. "Jethro, she was _quite_ determined to hold her silence."

"Why would she do that, Duck?" The Team Leader asked as they boarded the elevator together.

"Perhaps, Timothy has asked her not to discuss the details of what did transpire that traumatized him so. We certainly cannot blame him for that. I imagine, that she went to him with abject sympathy once she'd realized what results she was now privy too. Who could blame him for letting something slip and then wanting desperately to keep it completely under wraps?"

"If they're hiding evidence, Ducky?" Gibbs' tone is bordering on impatience.

"Do you really believe they would willing do such a thing, Jethro?"

"Don't wanna believe it." The Team Leader admitted regretfully as they stepped off the elevator and entered Abby's lab.

"Don't want to believe what, Gibbs?" Abby asked as she caught the tail end of their traveling conversation and braved putting herself out there since she was fairly certain they were coming to talk to her some more about what she so far had refused to divulge. Mentally, she cursed at her slip up. Apparently, her nerves were stretched to the near breaking point on the heels of everything she'd just been thinking about. Now that the man was back in front of her for answers he obviously wasn't leaving without, what was she going to do? What could she say?

As Ducky silently entered her lab in Gibbs' shadow, the Team Leader stepped up close to her and quietly answered her without hesitation, his eyes glaring at her as they watched her like a hawk for her true response. "That you and McGee are hiding evidence from me, Abby. Don't make me ask you again. Are you?"

From the doorway of Abby's lab came an unexpected new voice, trembling with anger and fear, desperation and resignation all mixed together. "Stop! Please!"


	6. Chapter 6

Gibbs' head snapped around instantly to meet the eyes of the person at the heart of it all that had brought himself to the thick of things, obviously to finally tell them what he'd been trying so hard NOT to tell them until now. The very fact that Tim McGee was here right now and NOT looking directly at anyone _but_ him, finally, said it all. The time had come where he was ready to let the Team Leader in. In a silent moment so thick with unknowns, all the silver-haired man could do was wait, his own thoughts cast into the sea of incriminations against himself along with observations of others that he had clearly missed or chosen to overlook:

 _"I sent him to Ducky. It was obvious he was in a great deal of pain, Gibbs."_

 _"Jethro, Timothy has been medically declared unable to work today, as of ten minutes ago. He is to remain under my care and not to be disturbed while he attempts to actually get some much needed sleep in my office for the remainder of the day...the paperwork, yes it shall be in your hands shortly."_

 _"You've been actin' pretty pissed at McGee all day, today, Boss. And he never came back from going to talk to Ducky... But, I know McHonest. If that's what he said happened, then it happened...The thing is, Boss, he's_ ** _been_** _coverin' my six after work for two weeks now."_

 _"...The young man is obviously going through something traumatic and I will_ ** _not_** _allow you to make it worse for him...After the abhorrent way you treated your injured and obviously struggling agent today, you are not the one who is in need of that break, Jethro!"_

 _"... I had hoped that you had learned over the years to have more regard for your team members than what you apparently showed Timothy today...It is the manner in which you treated Timothy along the way that I find needs to be brought more sharply into your focus before any more damage is done to what stilted relationship the two of you have now."_

 _"... He has just gone to sleep after not eating any dinner and his body is quite exhausted. From the looks of things, he has barely gotten any sleep for a week."_ _  
_ _"Apparently, that's about right."_

 _... "Jethro, Timothy will not be in today. He has expressed the concern that he will not be able to adequately focus on whatever tasks you assign him just yet."_ _  
_ _"He say that exactly, Duck?"_ _  
_ _"Yes. And the very fact that he willingly made such an admittance should speak for itself."_ _  
_ _"It does, Duck. It does."_ _  
_ _"Good. Then you will understand why it is I am officially signing off on a medically necessary day of healing for him."_ _  
_ _"No argument here Doc."_

Blinking, Gibbs' thoughts returned to the here and now. he took the first step. Sending his eyes to meet those of the troubled young man, he answered the urgent request that had just been thrown into the mix quietly, so as to not incinerate this opportunity to shreds. "Okay."

Tim swallowed hard. He hadn't missed Gibbs struggle with how to respond to his unexpected and out of the ordinary request. It had been hard to watch, as a matter of fact. But, the chasm between them right now was too wide for comfort even though Tim wanted nothing more than to be able to trust him enough that he could open up to him. The fact remained that he couldn't. Gibbs' penchant for being less than objective about things was too strong.

The man's track record from just this week spoke loud and clear that he would seek his own agenda first before coming to Tim's aid now, when he needed him most. It left Tim with an ocean of uncertainty in front of him in this moment. In fact, he had no idea what to even say to the man now. Tim knew that the evidence was overwhelming that he'd been hiding something from Gibbs. It was the mother of all sins and Tim was genuinely fearful of the man's reaction, which would top everything else he'd already been trying to sort out and shove under the biggest rock.

 _Evidence!_ Tim took a deep breath and looked at Abby as he slowly let it out. "He needs to see the evidence, Abby."

"Tim..." She sadly sighed. The last thing she wanted was to have to trounce all over Tim's desperate hope that his utter humiliation and near miss wouldn't be made known to anyone else.

With his eyes glued to those of his boss now, Tim addressed his friend's predicament. "It will speak for itself."

"So, I was _right_." Gibbs quietly surmised, his eyes locked onto his agent's.

Without backing down or looking away, Tim replied just as quietly. "Rule 18." While he was fearful of Gibbs' response to the secrets; he wasn't afraid to stand behind the man's rules. Realizing that allowed Tim's mind to let go of the fear. He didn't need to be afraid. Not of this, anyway.

"Rule 7" Abby's sad voice joined the crucial discussion since she'd just been handed the perfect time and means to explain her part in this as the rule repeats itself in her mind as if trying to reassure her that she'd followed it correctly. _Always be specific when you lie._

Gibbs frowned as he looked across the room at each of them before glancing at his friend. _What the hell was he supposed to do with his kids following his own rules on this? What about Tim telling him that nothing serious happened?_

As if reading his thoughts, Tim shook his head minutely, saying nothing more. It was obvious he wanted and maybe even _needed_ Gibbs to see the evidence for himself. With that realization dawning on him, the Team Leader finally looked at what he'd been handed and looked over at Ducky, drawing the older man into the fray at long last. The kindly elder man walked over to join Gibbs at Abby's evidence table and together the two older men began perusing what was in front of them.

Abby glanced at Tim with regret and apology as she slipped out of the lab without a sound. She knew Tim didn't need an audience for what came next and that he would understand that she wasn't bailing on him as much as she was respecting his right to handle this as privately as possible. After all, the fact of the matter was the whole situation was intensely personal and no one would feel comfortable with an audience to the discussion on the horizon. Sick at heart, hurting for Tim and worried about Tony, Abby headed outside for some fresh air.

Watching the two men, who needed the answers but wouldn't take kindly to what those answers were, see the evidence of his utter humiliation and damned near unthinkable situation with Tony that night, Tim swallowed hard. Turning away, he locked the lab door back. Suddenly, his hand froze on the handle because the need to get out of there washed through him like a tidal wave.

But, hesitancy took him only so far as Abby's inner lab because Gibbs was Gibbs after all and he'd hunt him down anyway for whatever else he wanted from him in this mess, of that there was no doubt. But the bigger reason that he couldn't leave here was the fact that right now, no one else could overhear them with the door closed and locked. Tim was tired of it all. He just wanted it to go away. No time like the present to hopefully see that happen here no matter how painful or humiliating it was.

As Ducky quietly explained what they were looking at, Gibbs felt his heart break for both his boys and his anger surge on multiple levels; for what had been done to Tony by his so-called friends, for what Tony had inadvertently done to Tim and for what Tim had been trying so damned hard to deal with on his own. The short exchange he'd had with Ducky on the way up here a short while ago came back to him now.

 _"McGee comes to work battered and bruised."_ _  
_ _"Let us not forget obviously traumatized."_

Gibbs closed his eyes for a brief moment, trying to process the reality that this actually happened to his agents; what _could_ have happened to Tim; what Tony had _almost_ done to his Probie; that something so awful and personally devastating and demoralizing could have ripped away from them, all that they'd built as teammates and as individuals this way. Helplessness was not a feeling Gibbs ever enjoyed feeling, knowing that it had to have been a tsunami for Tim that night broke his heart. Hell, right now, it washed through _him_ in a wave because he was helpless to take any of this away, to make it to have never have happened. This time, he held no power to rip the band-aid off for them so they'd be done with the pain all at once.

At that moment, the anger he'd felt at Abby's inclusion dissipated in the face of what this meant to his boys. It was blatantly obvious that her role in this secret keeping hadn't been deliberate on Tim's part so much as it had been his intuitive self-preservation reacting to her own reaction to the facts as she'd discovered them in the evidence. For that, he couldn't be held responsible. The bottom line here was that Tim couldn't be held accountable for not having possibly stopped her from approaching him with what she'd discovered, her sympathy and broken heart in hand, as she obviously and understandably had done.

Closing the file, his expression mirroring his sense of being deeply troubled over this, Ducky patted Gibbs on the arm. "They have both been tortured by the truth, Jethro. Timothy moreso by the experience as well. I suggest we leave well-enough alone on that score. From what we saw when we arrived, Abigail was beginning to attempt to find those 'friends' of Anthony's. There is nothing more we can ask of her..."

Looking over at the door to Abby's inner lab their emotions strained by the need to say or do something without knowing what, both of them sighed deeply as the M.E added to his suggestion. " or of Timothy."

"So what do we do with this, Duck? What can we do for him?" Gibbs asked quietly, his eyes trained on the door, as if hoping to be able to see the state Tim might be in even though the young man had clearly huddled down into Abby's chair.

"We look after them, my friend. Beginning with Timothy. Let _him_ lead. Whatever is comfortable for him, as _this_ most assuredly is _not_."

"Okay." The younger man breathed out sadly. "See if you can at least draw him outta there."

"Yes dwelling on the uncertainty of what happens next for him is certainly not helping him at the moment." Ducky agreed as he took out his phone and sent Tim a text message.

 _Timothy, may we talk, please?_

From outside the inner office, Gibbs and Ducky watched as Tim sat up straight in Abby's chair and opened his phone. They saw him frown at it and take a deep breath before slowly letting it out. Patiently they waited as he finally got to his feet and brought himself out of seclusion. With bated breath they held themselves still for his next move.

Already feeling vulnerable and exposed, Tim continued to draw strength from the realization that he hadn't done anything wrong that night and that his intentions in keeping this from everyone had been more than good; they'd been damned good. With that mantra running through his head on repeat now, he looked at both of the older men without backing down, although his embarrassment was hard pressed not to topple all of that over as he tossed in the last but equally important reason he'd refrained from telling anyone anything, other than Abby. "Rule #1." Again the words to which he referred flooded his mind as if vindicating his conviction to stand by it. _**Never screw over your partner**_

"Oh, Timothy. Your concern for Anthony, should he remember or find out, has only served to cement your need to keep this all inside, hasn't it?" Ducky mourned with heart-felt compassion.

"That's why you panicked in the squad room." Gibbs quietly reasoned with nothing but sympathy in his tone. "When I said he told me everything, you thought he remembered."

Ducky added his own emotional reaction, mixing it with advice. "Your concern for Anthony is beyond admirable, Timothy. But we _must_ address _your_ needs in this. Tell us, please, have you spoken with someone about this; someone who can help you work through how this has to have affected you?"

Tim shook his head as he looked back at the concerned M.E. " I'll be fine."

"Oh, heavens." Ducky replied sadly.

As the memory of his computer whiz and very capable and competent field agent leaning back against the wall of the men's room, a sheen of sweat drenching his face while tremors shook his frame and his eyes stared sightlessly in front of him, washed through him again, Gibbs sympathetically asked for the younger man's attention with his deliberately quiet and soothing tone. "Tim."

Tim looked at his boss, his heart in his boots.

"Need you to be okay."

"I can _still_ do my job." Tim defended himself with both pride and anger evident in his tone.

"Not what I care about right now." Gibbs came back with without hesitation even as he remained careful not to encroach on Tim's space. "Need you to be okay - for _you_. Can't be, carryin' this alone, holdin' all in."

Tim's vision blurred at the unexpected support, sympathy and compassion from his mentor. It was so radically opposite of the reaction he'd been expecting that it completely threw him off balance. Frozen with the overwhelming feeling of watching this from outside his own body, he barely heard what was said next.

"No, you certainly can **not** , Timothy. In fact, I want you to take some time off from work and go speak to someone." The M.E. put his foot down, albeit gently with enough firmness that he knew Tim wouldn't argue with him. He feared, however, that the young man would take his good intentions the wrong way. "Forcing yourself to carry on as though all is fine, is _not_ healthy for you. And it will _only_ serve to further derail your recovery from this."

Tim shook his head in denial as he forced himself to look at the man to whom he was speaking. "Need to keep busy." Having admitted that much out loud, he mentally cringed at having laid himself open and vulnerable like that, drawn in as he'd been by their unexpected support. Quickly, he turned away from them. Their concern put his emotions on overload. It wasn't something he was used to hearing or seeing from them, most especially from Gibbs and he didn't know what to do with it.

What he did know is that taking time off from work for this seemed like punishment because not only would he not be doing what he loved to do, but he'd be forced to think about this; dwell on it, relive it even. And he wanted no part of any of that. Tim hated the idea of disobeying the Medical Examiner, but hated the idea of complying with the elder man's orders even more. Before Tim could come to a conclusion and plead his case further, the silence was broken unexpectedly and by the boss himself, their eyes meeting across the space between them.

"Take all the time you need, Tim." Gibbs quietly encouraged before he looked meaningfully at Ducky as he picked up the file and silently slipped out of the lab.

 _ **********NCIS***********_

"Where are Gibbs and McGee?" Ziva asked Tony. "They have been gone a long time, yes?"

"Not sure." Tony answered almost absently. Looking over at her he noticed she was steadily typing away on her keyboard. "What are you working on? We don't have anything right now."

A few quick keystrokes and Ziva had her screen blank in time for Tony's expected arrival at her desk Looking up at him as he leaned over her work space, she frowned. "Nothing that concerns you, Tony." Getting to her feet, she walked around her desk and him to the large window by the stairs "It is very pretty out."

"You're up to something, Ziva." Tony told her knowingly. "And you know you wanna tell me what it is."

Turning to face him, she shook her head. "The only thing I am _up_ to Tony, is going outside for a breath of fresh air. I will bring back coffee."

Tony watched in open-mouthed shock as Ziva left the squad room taking the elevator without another word. Feeling like he was standing on the edge of an abyss, Tony sat back in his chair. What the hell was going on around here? First Probie started acting like a petrified school girl around him, then Abby scolds him publically about the friends he hangs out with after work - and now Ziva's hiding something from him while Probie and Gibbs are MIA? What the hell is he missing here?

 _ ***********NCIS************_ _ **  
**_ _  
_

Walking over to the sad vision she'd seen from upstairs in the window, Ziva sat down on the bench beside Abby without saying a word. It was very strange to see the Lab Rat sitting here because it wasn't normal for her. On the heels of that equally strange exchange between Abby and Tony this morning with Tim silently in the mix, seeing this had raised a red flag for the Israeli born Agent who already dreaded what lay at the bottom of this upheaval on her team. Giving Abby a moment to realize she had company, Ziva finally spoke into the silence. "Abby. Something very big has upset you, yes?"

Startled, Abby sat up straighter on the bench and released her arms from around herself , letting them fall away, her hands migrating to her lap. "Ziva? What are _you_ doing here?"

"That is what I am asking you"

"Thinking." Abby answered almost sadly.

"That is something you usually do in your lab, yes?" Ziva questioned with obvious confusion. "It is not like you to sit out here where everyone can see how upset you are. What is wrong?"

A shudder rippled through Abby's spine as she struggled to hold it all in. "I can't tell you."

"This has something to do with Tony and McGee and the way in which they both came to work on Monday, does it not?" Ziva knowingly asked.

"Oh my God!" Abby breathed out. "You're not supposed to know! Oh, God, what do I do? You CAN'T say ANYTHING to TONY!"

"I do not know what it is that you believe I know, but, you must calm down, Abby or he will surely find out - whatever 'this' is from you, himself."

"You're right. I need to calm down." Abby breathed heavily as she forced her heartbeat to do just that.

"Abby. I know whatever this is about is serious because McGee asked me not to dig for answers. In fact, he became very... _upset_ when I told him at first that I would ask Tony. Because I have promised him I would not dig, you need not fear. I do not wish to discuss this further."

Abby stared at her without admitting anything.

Ziva continued on with what she needed to say. "However, that does not mean you should be allowing yourself to be available for others to ask you the same questions out here like this when you are not free to provide the answers. Yet, you are sitting out here in the open, wearing , how does your expression go, your heart on your shirt?"

"Sleeve, Ziva. But, you're right!. I didn't think of that. I have so many friends, some of them are bound to ask me why I'm sitting here all upset like this."

"So then, you are prepared to go back inside now, yes?"

"Yeah. But not my lab yet, Ziva. Maybe I'll just hang out with you guys in the squad room."

"You are always welcome there, Abby."

"Have you located those so called 'friends' of Tony's yet?" Abby asked in a complete change of topic.

"I have the search going for them now. They should not be hard to find, even without Tony's cooperation." Ziva answered.

"Good! Let's go find them!" Abby declared as she popped up, obviously ready to get back to work.

"Yes. I am looking forward to 'talking' to them." Ziva growled as the two of them headed back inside.

 ***********NCIS************

With the file laying out of sight under his light jacket on the passenger seat, Gibbs drove off the yard, his heart in tatters his emotions all over the place and his temper edging higher and higher by the minute. He'd noticed Abby sitting forlornly on the bench in the quiet garden as he'd driven by their building, Ziva by her side. His need to do this first superseded everything else he had in mind to do with this mess, including squaring things away with her and making sure she was all right.. He was pretty damned sure she wasn't since she was hurting for both of her friends. But he also knew she needed time to think.

Now that she knew without a doubt that he and Ducky were there for her and Tim with support and not punishment, she would be able to dial back her over-drive and fall back enough to think through how this was affecting her. He strongly believed she would need to talk to someone too. Then again, she had her nun friends and it was pretty much a given that in them, she had all the confidants she needed.

Which was another reason why, she wasn't the one Gibbs was most concerned about in all of this. Tim was. His thoughts were going in circles around that realization. What could he do for Tim now? How could he help him through this other than react as far away from anger and censure as he could? Judging by Tim's reaction earlier, that had been the right way to go and maybe the only thing he could do for him, at least for the time being. Well, that and let it be known that whatever time, Tim needed was perfectly fine with him. That was why he'd made sure of that before deliberately leaving the young man in Ducky's more than capable hands.

Almost on auto-pilot, Gibbs drove himself home, quickly snatching up the file before exiting his car and making a bee-line for his basement. First things first; and the first thing he needed to do now was bury this thing. Oh, the key evidence needed to bring in Tony's friends for what they'd done was still intact and not compromised since it's been locked away in safe keeping on site. But the hard copy that would devastate Tony - well into the drawer he'd long kept that file on Vance that Davenport had given him, it was going.

Pushing the drawer forward with an aggravated shove, he was startled by the ringing of his phone. Distractedly he turned away and snatched his phone up from where he'd tossed it onto his workbench when he'd hurried down here a minute ago. "Yeah. Gibbs."

 _"Got a fresh one, Boss."_

Hearing Tony's voice now twisted the knife in his gut so painfully it nearly choked Gibbs, The corrective and stern conversation he'd had with him in the elevator the day this all came about, hit Gibbs hard now. Tony actually hadn't done anything wrong willingly, or at least of his own volition but the scolding the Team Leader had poured over him couldn't be taken back:

 _"You're better than this, DiNozzo."_ _  
_ _"Boss, I'm sorry."_ _  
_ _"Don't..."_ _  
_ _"I know, don't apol..."_ _  
_ _"Let it happen again!"_

Tony's voice came across to him again, this time with worry. _Boss?"_

Dragged back to the present, Gibbs responded to his Senior Field Agent with remorse in his tone despite his best efforts to sound normal. "Gear up. I'll be there in ten." He snapped his phone shut and bolted up the stairs, forcing his mental shield back in place while firmly setting his focus back on track. _Need to get back to the yard_. _Case First_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N:** A little leeway here with Abby/Tony's discussion of movies. I could not locate anything in cannon for Abby's choices in movies, so I went with something Tony's well known for enjoying._

 **Episode Tag:** _"Bikini Wax" - Season 2_

* * *

"Ducky?" Tim asked in a state of shock as his Team Leader's out of the ordinary communication with him just now continued to ring in his ears.

 _"Tim….. Need you to be okay…for you…Take all the time you need..."_

"Yes, Timothy?" The only other occupant in the room asked with a touch of concern.

"Did that just _happen_? I mean did Gibbs _really_ just….?"

Ducky smiled softly. "Yes, Timothy. Your mentor _did_ indeed allow himself to let his genuine concern for you, show."

Tim sighed heavily as he struggled with this side of Gibbs he'd long needed but never expected and rarely ever glimpsed before. Thankful that the man had also had the wisdom to give him some space now, Tim straightened his posture but said nothing. The uneasy silence quickly began to morph into uncomfortable.

With a sigh, Ducky guardedly offered a suggestion, hoping to at least ease some of the tension radiating off the younger man.. "Timothy, why don't we retire for the evening? Somewhere more suitable for our much needed discussion, hmm?"

Tim frowned. _Talking_ was not something he planned on doing any more of any time soon. He was feeling pretty exposed already, what with everything Gibbs and Ducky now knew. Still, he realized they couldn't hole up in Abby's lab any longer so, without hesitation, he followed the Medical Examiner from the room, entering the elevator with him – albeit silently.

The silence between them continued on until the two of them reached Ducky's inner office and the older man closed his door to insure privacy while they talked. Turning to the young man still obviously struggling to process the events of the hour, Ducky gestured for him to take a seat on the sofa. "Let's discuss what needs to happen now."

"Can't be anything good." Tim stated with sad resignation.

"Timothy, you are _not_ on punishment for any of this. Surely, Gibbs' reaction has shown you that?"

"Still tryin' to process everything." Tim admitted. "Kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Oh, Timothy." Ducky mourned. "The only thing that will happen now, is that you will take some time off and work to process what has happened more thoroughly and speak with someone – a professional that can help you work through this. We wish to have you back with us, feeling whole again and unafraid to work with and around your team again as soon as you are possibly able."

"That's a tall order, Ducky." Tim warned the older man with the seriousness he'd been carrying around with him since this nightmare began for him. He didn't want anyone to expect him to adhere to a set time-frame, when he had no idea what was going to happen next, himself.

"Yes, dear boy it is. However, we are all aware of your inherent ability to succeed at whatever it is you set your mind to do."

Tim stood to his feet and headed to the door. "I appreciate the vote of confidence, Ducky, but I can't think past right here and now."

"There is nothing wrong with that, my friend." Ducky followed him out, "Come, Timothy, we need to have some dinner and then get you settled in for a good night's sleep."

"No thank you. I'll be fine. I just need to go home and be alone for a while. From your orders, a _long_ while."

"Timothy, my 'orders' as you call them, are for your own good. You must talk with someone!"

"Ducky, the only reason I said anything at _all_ \- was to get Abby out of the hot seat! Now, I _really_ don't wanna talk about this anymore- with _any_ one!" Tim exploded finally as he bolted out of the man's inner office into his main work area. Pacing frenetically now, Tim's reaction kept coming, obviously tipped past the stopper on the container he usually kept sealed tight. "I'm sick of even _thinking_ about it!"

With a deep sigh, Duck nodded but held his ground. "While your feelings on the matter are _quite_ understandable, lad, you will at least come home with me and allow me to ensure you get a decent meal and a good night's sleep!"

"Thank you. But, **no** thank you." The younger man firmly declined the strong request. He was tired of being badgered, cornered and feeling like he had no options. Backed into a corner, he was definitely coming out fighting.

Knowing full well, the probable reason for the far from happy young man's flare of stubbornness, the M.E. addressed the issue. "Timothy, I give you my word, we will not discuss anything you do not wish to talk about. I simply wish to see to it that you eat well and get a good night's rest. Nothing more."

With that promise to go on and the genuine worry and concern very clearly etched in the older man's expression, Tim nodded as he gave in. "Okay."

Together, but in a stilted, uncomfortable silence, they walked out to Ducky's car and began the journey to the older man's home. It was a first step in the right direction; but with an almost impenetrable wall hastily erected between them. Tim had never felt so uncomfortable in this man's presence before, while Ducky hadn't felt his heart break so completely in a very long time.

 **********NCS***********

Abby and Ziva returned to the squad room together some thirty minutes later, both silently approaching the Field Agent's desk, although the Lab Rat was the one who sat down in the chair, immediately beginning to type with a speed that rivaled that of the Computer Whiz, once Ziva signed back onto her system and stepped back for her, working on ….something.

Tony watched without trying to hide the fact that he was doing so, as Ziva stood back and literally let Abby do whatever it was she was doing. He was further intrigued when they glanced at each other with knowing glances and immediately parted company. Before he could say anything to either of them, Abby headed to her lab at the same time the Team Leader's desk phone rang, signaling the team's next call out.

Tony was quick on the draw, reaching the phone on the second ring. Answering it, he was just as quick to affirm his acceptance of the info and end the call. His next move was to whip out his cell phone and inform the boss because he knew the Team Leader would want to be there. Without wasting any time or speaking any unnecessary words, he got right to the point.

"Boss, we just got a fresh case."

 _ ************NCIS**************_

Settled on Ducky's guest bed and just about to drift off to sleep some thirty minutes later, the shrill sound of the M.E's cell phone going off disturbed what remained of the silence they'd become shrouded in. With a look of regret in Tim's direction, the older man opened his phone as he stepped out of the room. It was only a moment later when he returned with the expected announcement that duty called.

"I'll be fine, Ducky. I'm just gonna try and get some actual sleep." Tim promised tiredly as he laid his head back down on the pillow..

"Very well. Since you have already drunk that warm milk down, it should be most helpful in that endeavor, Timothy. Dinner will keep until you've had at least a short nap. I shall set an alarm for you. I want you to make sure you get up to eat."

"Thanks." The younger man offered, although his eyes remained open. Realizing Ducky wasn't about to leave him until he actually had closed his eyes in an effort sleep, he did that. "Be careful." He requested as he let the exhaustion he'd been feeling finally tug him under.

"Sleep well, Timothy." The concerned Medical Examiner murmured as he stepped out of the room and headed out.

 _ ************NCIS**************_

"Where's McGee?" Tony wondered with genuine confusion as he took on the shooting the photos and sketching the crime scene by himself; something he hadn't had to do for ages. "Shouldn't he be here working this with us?"

Where there would normally be a biting comeback from the boss, one that would undoubtedly propel them over this awkward moment, now there was none. In fact, the man had been super quiet since returning to the office with barely enough time to scoop the rest of the team up and head to the scene of the crime. The fact that he'd insisted on doing that instead of meeting them there like he would usually do had already raised a red flag with Tony but the younger man with a lot on his own mind had held his tongue.

Gibbs didn't know how to answer his Senior Field Agent without getting something started that he didn't want, so he held his silence with even more inner strength as he gestured for him to get back to work as he exchanged concerned looks with the newly arrived, silent M.E. As he and Ziva began the task of interviewing the victim's family who'd unfortunately been the ones to find him shot in their living room when they'd come home from a movie night out together, he couldn't help but wonder about the lack of attitude in Tony's question. _Where was the normal sniping and sarcasm about his teammate's absence from a late in the day case like this? What was going on with DiNozzo?_

 _ *********NCIS*********_

Waking to the alarm Ducky had set for him an hour later, Tim groggily took a few moments to recall where he was and acquaint himself enough with the layout that he could find his way to Ducky's kitchen, where he expected to find the older man back from work and laying out their dinner he'd talked about. Instead what he found was a note, a written reminder that work had called the M.E. in for a new case and that he was expected to eat everything that had been kept warm for him in the oven. The note went on to instruct that Tim do nothing more after he'd eaten than rest for the remainder of the evening. Huffing out a small laugh, Tim took the plate from the oven, set it on the table with a glass of ice water to go with it and sat down to eat; something he hadn't been doing a whole lot of lately.

Trying to relax and literally clear his mind while he ate wasn't as easy as he'd hoped. By the time he'd cleaned his plate and cleaned up after himself as much as he could in someone else's house, Tim wasn't surprised to realize that it had barely been 90 minutes that he'd been alone and already the scope of what he'd just managed to lay open to others began to hit him like a mac truck, right down to the vivid recollection of the incident itself. His current predicament was made even more clear by the sharp reminder that the team was right now at this very moment, working a fresh case – without him

 _ *********NCIS*********_

Over an hour later, noting that there was nothing left to be done at the scene now that the routine steps had been taken, the witnesses questioned, crime scene bagged and tagged, sketched and photographed and secured, Gibbs wasted no time in getting them back to the Navy Yard. Instructing Tony to get the evidence to Abby, the Team Leader and Ziva head to the squad room. When Tony was finally gone from their midst, Gibbs turned to Ziva and told her what he'd wanted to tell her for several hours. "As soon as this is put to bed, you're gonna tell me what you know."

"Understood, Gibbs." Ziva answered, her own expression that of a predator on the hunt. She'd been anxious to break away and go get them since arriving on the scene. Reading the boss in would let her get that done all the much sooner. She knew he'd sensed that in her angry demeanor but had wisely said nothing. Even Tony had kept his mouth unusually silent. For the time being, she had too much on her mind to worry about that, although it was niggling at the back of her mind as a potential problem in the making.

"Case first, Ziva." He warned her quietly as he got to work helping on their current case, his eyes wandering over to his absent Agent's desk. _Sure hope Tim's sleeping. He sure the hell needs it. God, don't let me screw this up! Don't let me lose my boys over this!_

"Boss?"

Tony's unexpected and concerned question ripped the Team Leader from his musings enough that he blinked and refocused on the current case without further thought on the horrible mess waiting for him when the job was done. "Where are we with this, Tony?"

Again a red flag went up for the Senior Field Agent. _Since when did the boss man use my first name while we're working a case? Why was HE working the case down in the dirt like the rest of us? Whatever happened to 'not my job'? What the hell was going on around here?_

Distracted with the litany of points he'd been pondering all day, Tony's mind began stacking those points up together; _Tim had been acting almost scared of him, not to mention short tempered with him since the day Tony came to work late; the very same day Tony_ _woke up with no memory of the night before. Tim had also refused to go anywhere with him alone since then. Hell, the kid pulled a dramatic disappearing act the first time he'd been told to go with Tony!_

Abby had been acting overly angry with a heavy dose of protectiveness since that day, too. Now Abby and Ziva were up to something on Ziva's computer; almost as if the two of them were in cahoots about something. Even the boss had been acting different – first pissed at Tim and today – overly concerned until Tim disappeared – now overly evasive on his whereabouts. As a matter of fact, what was it Ziva said about all this that rang a bell…..?

 _ ***********NCIS**************_

 _Drunk men tell no tales._ Started from his restless thoughts by that sharp reminder in his father's voice, Tim frowned. He'd been laying here trying to go back to sleep for over an hour now but unable to turn his mind off. Come to think of it, he'd never put much thought into that piece of advice from his father one way or another – until now. After all, he wasn't a public drinker, so why would he have? Now, as he bitterly recalled every word out of DiNozzo's mouth that god-awful night, he had to wonder if the older man hadn't already long believed what he'd said once the alcohol had been drunk. Did Tony really think Tim was gay and had been asking for it?

 _"Did you just say 'drop me' McGee ?'Cause ya know, I always knew you swung like that! And...And...I want...ya...know...cool...with...that..._ _You're horny, aren't ya Timmy! YOU NEVER get laiddd! Cause you_ ** _are_** _gay,huh?"_

 _"Thaats, it, Timmy boy! Always KNEW you like it like thisss!...like it...know ya do...No pain, No gain, huh, Lover boy? OOOH, AAAH.!" Knew...you'd beee good." Tole ya, I neeed to g.. laid. Waant u ... know y want ...uck me too…_ _You're so hot, I'm cumin' already! Ooh! AAhh! Ngghhh!"_

Sickened to his stomach at the sharp refreshed memory, at the possibility that it was his own fault - Tim launched himself up off the bed and ran to the guest bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before he lost his dinner. God, if Tony believed any of that for even a second….

 _ ***********NCIS**************_

Barely an hour and a half later, with Gibbs cracking the whip as if he had some place else to be but couldn't get there fast enough, they'd discovered that once again, Tony's first rule of case solving proved to be the answer. With Tony zeroing in the ex-girlfriend, it hadn't taken long to prove she had been the killer. Dotting all the 'I's and crossing all the 't''s had taken up a block of time but now the case had been effectively put to bed. It had been a long three hours since the case had landed in their laps and Gibbs was very quick to tell Tony to call it a night. "You've earned it."

"Thanks, Boss." Tony had wearily replied as he'd shut down his work station and shouldered his gear bag, disappearing from the squad room a mere two minutes later, compliments of a quick and empty elevator.

Turning to Ziva at that point, the boss had gotten straight to the point. "Whattaya got?"

Ziva immediately cued up what she and Abby had uncovered about Tony's so called friends and read the boss completely in to the facts as they knew them. Tony's fraternity: AXD (Alpha Chi Delta) _had been easy to find. And_ since they'd set him up like this, highlighting their obvious hang up with Tony's pledge name - _Sex Machine_ – to take a hard fall, it would be extremely satisfying to watch them take a hard fall, of the legal variety – without giving them the opportunity to gloat in Tony's face about what they'd done.

The Team Leader accepted her information, praised her hard work on the difficult case, since it was so personal. He knew that her work and Abby's on the case was all he needed to scoop up the scumbags. Having already sett Abby on the task of locking up the culprit's social media accounts and phones as well as email accounts, Gibbs began gearing up. He looked over at her and said his peace. "Let's go get these bastards!"

Enroute to the agency cars they would be taking, Gibbs called Abby and gave her another job to do. "When you've locked them out of everything, go sit on Tony for a couple of hours."

" _Go get those bastards, Gibbs! And don't worry, I 'm half-way to Tony's already. They won't be able to contact him And he won't be able to contact them either but he won't know why – at least not for a while yet."_

"Good girl."

" _Don't let them get away with this, Gibbs!"_

"We won't."

 ***********NCIS** _ ****************_

" _Why didn't you tell me?_ _ **WHY**_ _didn't you tell me? Why_ _ **DIDN'T**_ _you tell me? Why didn't_ _ **YOU**_ _tell me? Why didn't you_ _ **TELL**_ _me? Why didn't you tell_ _ **ME**_ _? Do you hear me talkin' to you, McGuilty! I'm_ _ **dead**_ _because_ _ **YOU**_ _weren't man enough to tell me to my face what I had done to you! I had to find out from the damn 6 o'clock news, for God's sake! What the hell's the matter with you, man? Did you enjoy watching me jump off that bridge? Did it feel like justice for you? I'm dead, Probie! DEAD! And it's YOUR fault!_

Gasping for air, Tim surged upright in the bed. With his heart beating wildly in his chest, sweat dripping down his face and the heavy weight of Tony's accusations ringing loud and clear in his head on ruthless rewind, Tim felt trapped, each breath taking longer and coming with more difficulty. _Oh, God, make it stop! Please don't let that be the ending to this nightmare!_

With his concentration centered on his breathing, he barely noticed the clock as his eyes restlessly shifted around the room. Taking a second look, it hit him that he'd barely been asleep for two hours this time. It had taken him almost an hour earlier after hurling before he'd been able to forcefully quiet his mind enough to find sleep. Unfortunately, it obviously hadn't taken long for remnants of the nightmare and pieces newly crafted from it to invade that slumber and steal it away. Was there any wonder he hadn't been sleeping well lately?

Not sure if Ducky was home yet and most reluctant to disturb him, Tim crept out of the guest room and padded to the kitchen on bare feet. Nothing had been touched and the barely lit room was just as he'd left it. That told him that Ducky either wasn't home yet or had been too exhausted upon arriving at home, to do little more than head straight off to bed. With the older man's prior request to 'make yourself at home, Timothy.' Tim helped himself to a cup of milk, taking the time to warm it in the microwave briefly. He knew the stove was a better option, but he had no patience for It.

Taking himself and his mug of warm milk to the back porch, Tim slipped outside to sit on the deck. Although it was pitch dark out, it was beautiful to be surrounded by so many sounds of nature. Laying he head back against the lounge chaise he'd sat himself down in, he closed his eyes to bask only in nature – deliberately leaving all the crap at the door.

 _ *******NCIS**********_

Like she'd just told Gibbs, Abby was already on full alert that the men responsible for the nightmare her two best friends are in the middle of, are about to be picked up by Team Gibbs. That was why she'd already taken it upon herself to head to Tony's in an attempt to keep the Senior Field Agent occupied long enough for him to drop off to sleep for the night and remain clueless at least about this piece of the puzzle. Her own full knowledge of what was going on behind the scenes with her other hurting best friend as well, was the salve on her badly wounded heart she needed to get through this from afar.

She was grateful to Ducky for taking Tim under his wing and making sure he stayed there long enough to at least sleep if not begin to heal a teeny bit. It was comforting to know that he'd already been taken care of for the night and was getting the sleep he desperately needed. It allowed her to focus on Tony and in pointedly keeping him too occupied to ask questions. Technically, she hoped Tony never figured any of it out, but a part of her knew that he was too smart to completely overlook the obvious stuff for very much longer. Frankly, she was already surprised he hadn't figured anything out yet.

With a pizza in one hand and a four-pack of long-neck bottles of beer in the other, she knocked on Tony's door. This would guarantee he'd stay put. Of that, she had no doubt.

Tony opened the door in complete surprise. He couldn't remember the last time Abby had shown up on his door like this. "Abby? What's going on?"

"Nothing, Tony. Can't a girl come hang out with one her best friends after a long day?"

"Sure. Just not sure why you would pick _me_ on a work night. Not like you've ever done it before."

 _Crap!_ Abby mentally cursed. He was right. She had _never_ done this with him before. Now he was sure to realize something was up. _How stupid could she be?_ Quickly, she thought of an answer he would actually believe. "You've been kinda down lately. You need cheering up!"

"Abby. I appreciate it. Really. But, I'm really tired. I'm just gonna crash – probably crash hard, too."

"C'mon, Tony. It's just pizza. One movie. Then I'll go. I promise."

"Okay. Fine. But no _'Sleepless in Seattle'_ or Zombie horror flick. I can't stand either genre while I'm trying to enjoy a good pizza. That is a _'good'_ pizza, right?"

"Of course it is!" Abby defended the boxed food in her hand as the door was closed and locked behind her. " Your favorite: pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese – and Bond!"

With upraised eyebrows, Tony tested her. " _James_ Bond?"

"Is there any other?"

Huffing out a laugh, he asked. "All right, which one?"

"I dunno. Surprise me."

"We—ell, since you're being such a good sport about this, I say we go with the ultra classic, one of a kind, original - Numero Uno."

"Cool! I've always wanted to see that one!"

"Wait a minute! Are you sayin' what I think you're sayin? You've never actually _seen_ the first James Bond movie?"

"Uh-huh. There's a first time for everything though, right?"

"Like you hanging out with me like this, ya mean?"

"That's what friends do, Tone-ey, hang out with each other and cheer each other up! Can we eat already? I'm starving!"

"All right then, let's eat!"

 _ ************NCIS*********_

Driving two separate vehicles, Gibbs and Ziva made quick work of picking up Tony's friends – Keven 'the Ace of Cards' Green and Marty, 'Flyboy' McMahan, with little fanfare or trouble. The two of the "Three Musketeers were stunned to have been found out and even more so to have their phones immediately confiscated by the Federal Agents – the very ones that worked with their "Sex Machine" of a Frat Brother! Neither agent wasted any time, in fact, in issuing the 'no talking' order to their 'guest'. Needless to say, it was, thankfully, a very quiet ride back to the Yard and an equally silent walk to the interrogation rooms. The only ones talking, were the extra agents requested to stand guard over the rooms being used so neither of the men rounded up would be able to leave.

Forcing himself to follow protocol so that none of the work they'd done gathering the facts together on this case would be thrown out on a technicality, Gibbs headed up to Vance's office. He didn't trust himself to be in the same room with the overgrown ingrates, anyway. The last thing he wanted was to give them an ounce of satisfaction by revealing too much of the after-effects of what they'd done – or by being tempted to wipe the floor with them by the hair of their scumbag heads. Striding in to the man's office unceremoniously as usual, he drew the Director's attention immediately,

Given the lateness of the hour and the look on the silver haired man's face, Vance's reaction was understandably more calm than usual. "Gibbs. Thought you sent your team home hours ago."

His eyes moving to the darkness of the window over the other man's shoulder, Gibbs offered a quiet explanation. "Somethin' else came up."

"You've got a fresh case I don't know about?"

The Team Leader shook his head and looked back at his boss before answering "This can't go any further, Leon. Abby knows and Ziva knows even less than Ducky and I do."

The Agency Director who was by this time beginning to get nervous, sat back in his chair and held his pen in between his two ring fingers. "What's going on, Gibbs?"

"Off the record."

"Off the record but you're reading me in." Vance summarized with unmistakable suspicion in his tone.

"Rounded up the bastards responsible, Leon. Don't have a choice. Can't let 'em get away with what they did to DiNozzo – or McGee."

Sighing deeply, Leon gestured for the Team Leader to continue.

"This doesn't get back to Tony… or Tim." Gibbs' tone, while a paternal growl, booked no argument, even from his boss. "Want this to stay in this room." The fact that Abby was read in doesn't mean she needed to know anything more. While it was true she was very concerned about Tony as well as Tim, she didn't need to keep getting drawn into this even deeper. It wouldn't be fair to her. Now that he and Ducky were aware of things, her involvement needed to be cut off at the pass.

A father himself, Leon's heart nearly stopped. This was awfully serious if the man was calling his agents by their first names. Whatever this was about wasn't about work; that was obvious. This was personal, especially for Gibbs. Someone, had hurt this man's people; that much was obvious too. His voice couldn't hide the tremor of unease he felt. "What happened, Gibbs?"

 ***********NCIS***********

On the heels of leaving Vance to deal with the case and those responsible, Gibbs headed to Ducky's domain, feeling tired and drained. Once there, he'd finally been able to breathe freely at the sight of the older man actually waiting for him.

Without hesitation, Ducky picked up his hat, placed it on his head and headed to the door. "Come, Jethro. It's time to go check on our young man, hmm?"

"I'll be right behind ya, Duck."

"All right." The M.E. replied with a reassuring smile. "He promised to do nothing more than rest. I'm certain he's done just that."

"If he was able to."

"Yes, there is that concern. Well, we shall soon see. I'll see you in a few moments, my friend."

With a nod, Gibbs turned and headed out, making a beeline for the outside and his car. It was way past time to check on Tim but he hadn't any choice about the matter. Still, something in his gut told him that Tim had been left alone with this mess for too long already. He hoped his gut was wrong this time.

 _ ***********NCIS********_

 _"I'm dead, Probie! DEAD! And it's YOUR fault! What the hell's the matter with you, man? Did you enjoy watching me jump off that bridge? Why didn't YOU tell me?"_

Staring out into the darkness, his heart beating wildly, Tim couldn't catch his breath. He couldn't understand why or how his mind was making this stuff up, but it felt so real it scared the hell out of him. What if it were _true_? _What if that_ happened now?

"Tim?"

Startled, Tim felt his heart nearly stop for real. "Boss!"

"You all right?" The Team Leader asked as the lamp from the living room behind him lit up the porch just enough they could see each other's face.

Shaking his head, Tim turned his eyes back to the black outside that couldn't be fathomed.

"Talk to me?"

Still wrapped up in the humiliation and worry about Tony finding out now, Tim couldn't seem to find the words – or the trust to actually open up to Gibbs. "I can't _do_ this with you, Boss. I need normal and this…you checking on me…us _talking_ ….is _not_ normal."

"Not your fault." Gibbs offered genuinely as he took a seat in the lounge chair several feet away.

"I _know_ that!" Tim's response was quick and bitter, as if the filter had broken off from his mouth. Turning away from the man trying to reach out to him, Tim failed to see the pained expression, even when it morphed into concern on his Team Leader's face.

But the concern in Gibbs' tone was unmistakable as his response came without hesitation, despite Tim's unexpected reaction. "Might help to let some of it out."

Leaning back against the lounge chair as he stared out into the night, Tim couldn't stop the one question that had been plaguing him all night from finally escaping now that he had a sympathetic ear, as if it couldn't be held back any longer. "Is this _my_ fault?"

"No!" The Team Leader reacted strongly and without hesitation, his heart hurting for Tim and the realization that the young man had been plagued with _that_ thought. Forcing himself to stay put so as to not crowd Tim, Gibbs struggled with what to say now. He wasn't comfortable in these touchy-feely situations in the best of times and this sure as hell wasn't one of those. But he could not let Tim flounder through this with so much self-inflicted culpability that _wasn't_ his to begin with!

Before he could even think of anything else to say, Tim was shaking his head and quietly clarifying his question. "Not what happened that night – but Tony's thinking I wanted it."

Feeling like he'd just been punched in the gut, Gibbs struggled to answer the question he'd never expected to hear.

"Timothy, why on earth would you think such a thing?" Ducky's unexpected voice joined the discussion from the doorway behind them.

"Something my father told me a long time ago, Ducky. _'Drunk men tell no tales.' "_ Tim admitted quietly as he turned around to look briefly at the older man before turning back to look out at the hidden world beyond the lit porch area once more.

"That night - Tony said you were askin' for it." Gibbs' pain filled voice is the only one heard in the otherwise poignantly silent moment that followed.

Tim swallowed hard as he nodded without looking at either of them. "Yeah."

"Oh, Timothy!" The M.E. sympathized with genuine sorrow.

"So….. _was_ it? _My_ fault?" Tim pushed as he turned to look at Ducky once more, really needing to know the answer.

"Because he spent a lot of time harassing you about it over the years? No! It was always _his_ issue, Tim. Not yours." Gibbs answered as the reminder that as Team Leader, he'd never done a thing to shut it down now hit him like a second punch to the gut.

"And NOTHING you've ever done could have EVER made what happened that night your fault, Timothy!" Ducky added vehemently.

Tim sighed as he nodded. "Okay. Now maybe he'll quit telling me differently in my sleep now."

Ducky and Gibbs exchanged concerned looks, that unbeknownst to them, did not go unnoticed. The M.E. started to respond to Tim's open admittance, only to be cut off unexpectedly when Tim finally reacted to their silent pity.

"I don't want to be the victim here! All right? I just want this to go away! So can we just drop it? PLEASE?"

Storming down off the porch steps, he found himself pacing Ducky's backyard until his feet finally slowed on their own, stopping altogether as he reached the nearest picnic table bench across the yard from the porch. Tired and angry, he plopped down and angrily wiped a tired hand across his face _Damn it!_


	8. Chapter 8

Many heavy moments later, Ducky squared his shoulders and shattered the shroud of uncomfortable silence they'd been simmering under as he lifted his voice so Tim could hear it across the yard where he remained sitting on the picnic bench.

"Come, Timothy. There is something I wish for you to see."

Hearing that tone that no one argued with, Tim got up and silently followed the elder man back inside the house, passing by the boss without uttering a sound or looking at him. He was surprised to find Ducky leading him to his library, cueing up his DVD player and turning on the remarkably modern 32" flat screen television. But what hadn't surprised him was the Abbot and Costello skit that had come to life to life on the screen. Their _"Who's on First"_ skit had long ago guaranteed to make even the most sour of moods dissipate into at least a smile. With Costello as a peanut vendor named Sebastian Dinwiddle, talking to Abbott as Dexter Broadhurt, the manager of the mythical St. Louis Wolves and Abbott's attempts to make sure Costello knew everyone's name on the team. Before he got behind the plate, it was classic comedy at its' best. The sounds of it filled the air around them, immediately replacing the mood and thoughts of that which had plagued them all moments before:

 _Abbott: Well, Costello, I'm going to New York with you. Bucky Harris the Yankee's manager gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team._

 _Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players._

 _Abbott: I certainly do._

 _Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team..._

Watching from the doorway to the library, Gibbs had to smile at both the show and the instant smile it had brought to Tim's face. Because this skit from the comedy team had long been one of his favorites and more importantly because he wanted to keep an eye on Tim, the Team Leader leaned into the doorframe and stayed put. He wasn't surprised as the show's dialogue continued to flow around them, however, to see Ducky slip past him and head back to the kitchen. After all, Tim was going to need something to help him sleep.

 _Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?_ _  
_ _Abbott: No. What is on second._ _  
_ _Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second._ _  
_ _Abbott: Who's on first._ _  
_ _Costello: I don't know._ _  
_ _Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him._ _  
_ _Costello: Now how did I get on third base?_ _  
_ _Abbott: Why you mentioned his name._ _  
_ _Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?_ _  
_ _Abbott: No. Who's playing first._ _  
_ _Costello: What's on first?_ _  
_ _Abbott: What's on second._ _  
_ _Costello: I don't know._ _  
_ _Abbott: He's on third..._

 _...Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?_ _  
_ _Costello: Naturally._ _  
_ _Abbott: That's it._ _  
_ _Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!_

 _Abbott: What?_ _  
_ _Costello: I said I don't give a darn!_ _  
_ _Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop._

 *******NCIS*********

With the skit drawing to a close and humor once again showing in Tim's expression a few moments later, Ducky reappeared in the room and promptly plied the young man with another hot chocolate laced with a sleep aide and heralded him back to bed with Gibbs bringing up the rear for reinforcements. A short ten minutes later ,once reassured that the youngest of them had actually fallen back to sleep, the two older men retreated back to the library, each carrying their own drink of choice as they sat down to talk. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the usually talkative Scotsman who spoke first.

"Spit it out Duck. What's eatin' ya?"

Breathing out a heavy sigh, Ducky looked over at his friend. "While our immediate focus is on Timothy and how he is dealing with this; as it should be; I fear we are making a grievous error in judgment with the decision not to tell Anthony, Jethro. He would want to know and will feel very betrayed that we kept such a terrible thing he has done, under the influence or not, from him. Any person worth their salt would want to know they had done such a thing so that they make attempt to make amends and do what they can to help the victim. I realize that Timothy despises being thought of as such; however, his feelings on the matter do not change the truth of what is."

It was Gibbs who breathed out a pained heavy sigh now. "I know, Duck."

"I shall speak with Timothy about this in the morning. Right now, it is more important that he be able to sleep. I presume that you intend to stay the night to watch over him?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not what he needs."

"Yes, He has made it abundantly clear that normal is what he needs, hasn't he?"

"Thanks, Duck. Call me if anything comes up." Gibbs' tone made the order an actual request and he stood up and headed for the door.

"You are quite welcome, Jethro. Let us hope and pray that I am wrong about this, hmm?" Ducky stood up and walked towards his friend.

"Not usually wrong about a whole lot of stuff, Duck." Gibbs warned as together they walked to the front door. Opening it, he stepped over the threshold and looked at the older man. "G 'night."

"Good night, my friend." Ducky responded as he closed the front door after him and locked it up for the night. "Heavens, I hope I _am_ wrong about _this_." He softly spoke into the otherwise still house.

 *********NCIS**********

Tim found himself awake before first light and with one look at the clock beside the bed, he knew why. It wasn't even four yet. Sitting up, he ran a hand tiredly over his face and got up, mentally braced for the day without even needing a cup of coffee. This nightmare, while not haunting his dreams any more last night, was quick to fill his mind the moment he awoke, leaving no room for normal yet. Ducky's strong words of advice from last night, along with the boss' unusually offered words of wisdom took center stage in his thoughts now.

 _"Your concern for Anthony is beyond admirable, Timothy. But we must address_ ** _your_** _needs in this. Tell us, please, have you spoken with someone about this; someone who can help you work through how this has to have affected you?"_

 _"Tim... Need you to be okay - for you. Can't be, carryin' this alone, holdin' all in."_

 _"No, you certainly can_ ** _not_** _, Timothy. In fact, I want you to take some time off from work and go speak to someone. Forcing yourself to carry on as though all is fine, is not healthy for you. And it will only serve to further derail your recovery from this."_

Tim shook his head. How did their abject concern for him leave so much room for the rest of what had invaded his thoughts and dreams last night? Why had his mind become so bogged down with it all, despite their attempts to help him? What was it they'd said to him about that when he'd voiced the question that wouldn't go quiet in his own mind?

 _"So...was it? My fault?"_

 _"Because he spent a lot of time harassing you about it over the years? No! It was always his issue, Tim. Not yours."_

 _"And NOTHING you've ever done could have EVER made what happened that night your fault, Timothy!"_

Deep down, he knew they were right but the fact that his mind, his soul, wouldn't let go of it meant their deep concern that he talk to someone held more weight than gold and he needed to heed that first and foremost. Sighing with resignation, Tim got out of bed, got dressed and stripped the bed for Ducky, making sure to fold the bedspread neatly so it could easily be put back on the bed when it was needed again.

Making sure to be as silent as possible, Tim left a note on the kitchen table and slipped away from Ducky's before calling for a cab to take him back to the yard to get his car. Driving off the Navy Yard a mere 30 minutes later, he headed for home. He had some calls to make and a bag to back after he got ready to go and even though it was only just now coming on 5 AM, he needed to start squaring things away. Making sure to clean out his refrigerator, he took the trash out and left out, headed for his escape destination with peace and quiet that would include plenty of time and space to talk openly with someone without it getting back to the Yard.

 ***********NCIS***********

Five in the morning found Gibbs getting a call out, which meant waking up the team, starting, as usual, with Tony. His being Senior Field Agent left the younger man responsible for making the remaining calls. But, this time, Gibbs had to remember to tell him not to bother Tim. Without going into any details, he did just that, knowing there'd be endless questions today about the younger man's absence. He'd suffer through them when he time came. For now, he stayed focused on rolling out for the case with plenty of caffeine already working through his system with more available for backup.

 *********NCIS**********

Called to the scene of the newest NCIS case, Tony was clearly distracted, if not angry. Gibbs didn't have to think very long to realize what his Senior Field Agent's problem was but neither was he willing to let it interfere with the younger man's ability to focus on the job. "Problem, DiNozzo?"

"No, Boss."

"Good. Shoot and sketch then bag and tag. Ziva and I will take the witnesses."

"Boss, that's..." Tony tried to protest but with one glare from the older man, hastily backtracked and got to work instead. Obviously, with the Probie not here, there was more work for everyone. Why the extra work was falling all on his head this time, didn't make sense or seem right. But, the boss obviously wasn't going to be argued with it.

Inwardly, Gibbs frowned He hated putting that much on his Senior Field Agent but needed to keep him as busy as possible to keep him from focusing on Tim's absence or worse, Tim's behavior through this difficult week and the possible connections to his own missing hours of Monday night. Using work as a way to draw Ziva away from the troubled young man, he deliberately refrained from answering her unasked questions while giving Tony the peace and quiet he needed to do his job best. They hadn't gone very far when the Medical Examiner's vehicle appeared on scene.

"Hey, Duck. Everything' all right?" He asked as the older man stepped down from the truck.

Fully aware that the Team Leader was in fact asking about things with his absent agent, the older man shook his head slightly while he kept his verbal response limited to the case at hand. "Jethro, I've only just arrived. Let me at least look at the poor fellow before you pepper me with your questions, please?"

Pinning a pointed look at the Autopsy's assistant, Gibbs waited until the younger man got the hint and moved off to 'lay things out near the body' before silently demanding the M.E. explain his cryptic response.

"He left, Jethro. Left a note of both apology and appreciation that simply stated he was taking our advice and taking the time off. He promised to stay in touch so I expect I shall be hearing from him before the day is out."

"Any idea where he went?"

"I have not had the opportunity to think on it much, as this already had my attention at the time. I do hope, however, that he has gone to do as we've so strongly suggested and seek proper help to aid his healing process."

"Okay. Keep me posted?"

"Certainly."

With a nod, Gibbs returned to Ziva's side, helping her question the crowd, searching for potential witnesses as the chaos of a new case dragged them all along for the ride of a very busy day. All thoughts of Tim and his current personal trauma were shoved to the wayside as work took center stage.

 *********NCIS**********

Tim settled into his room, stowing his clothes in the drawers provided and setting his bathroom stuff in the spacious bathroom as well. After all, he'd be here for two weeks, he might as well be comfortable, right? Once he'd set his sink items out - allowing him to stow that corresponding luggage out of the way as well, he changed into his swim suit and donned his sweats once more - and headed down to the indoor pool. It'd been a long three-hour drive and he was more than ready to relax as much as he could in the time he had to do it in.

Keeping his mind walled off from the barrage of thoughts as he'd driven himself here had been relatively easy to do; what with his need to arrive within a certain time weighing heavily on him and all. Now, the guilt he was feeling for not working this case with the team; for working off his own restlessness and overload of emotions through endless laps in the pool; was pressing on him heavily. Going until he'd completely tired himself out, Tim stopped when he couldn't breathe calmly anymore.

He hauled himself up out of the water through the strength in his arms, turned, and plopped his butt down on the edge of the pool. Letting his feet swing freely in the cool water while he worked to calm his breathing, Tim wiped his face dry on the towel he'd dropped there earlier, as he looked around. It was surprising to find himself still the lone hotel guest in the pool but enjoyable too. Sighing heavily, he let the lock on his thoughts slide just enough that it gave him more to think about than what he wasn't doing to help his team right now.

Unfortunately, knowing he was going forward with what his boss as well as the voice of the team's Medical Experience had told him that he needed to do for himself, wasn't making it any easier to put away or even swallow the reality that he wasn't working the case with the team right now. Knowing they were pulling double duty because of it certainly didn't help him feel any better about it either. But, they _had_ in fact told him to do this; told him he needed to talk to someone first before going back to work and that he needed to do it for himself.

The upcoming appointment in just a little while, was in fact, only happening because they weren't demanding that they do it for his job; at least not directly. That had meant the world to him and opened him up to the possibility that they were right, hence the willingness to make the call to set this in motion. His inability to be around Tony alone enough to be partnered with him on the job right now couldn't keep happening. Somehow, someway, he _had_ to get that part of his life back.

Getting to his feet, Tim dried himself off and headed to the men's locker room to slide his clothes on over his still wet suit. Once dressed and safely back in his room, he shucked off his clothes and jumped in the shower, his mind going nervously to the appointment he needed to keep. Having been promised his job was not in jeopardy for the time off - he managed the find the calm he needed to stay focused on why he was here. Although he'd only made the call this morning, he'd been shocked at how quickly he'd gotten the results he'd needed:

 _***Flashback***_

 _"Dr. Finnerty."_

 _"Ah, hello. I'm Tim McGee. Dr. Cranston ga..."_

 _"Gave you my name and number quite a while back. Yes, I remember. And although it has been a long time, I remember clearly that I had spoken with her about the referral back then Agent McGee. She had a lot to say about you."_

 _"Wow. I guess that's ...good, right?"_

 _"Yes, it was all positive, albeit mixed with some observations that weren't unpleasant. What can I do for you?"_

 _"Well, I think I'm ...that is...I need..." Tim sputtered nervously._

 _"You have to take the 1st step Agent McGee. No one can take it for you."_

 _The Doctor's kind yet firm directive pushed Tim over the gaping black hole that seemed to be opening up in front of him. Obviously, he'd dealt with this kind of uncertainty and reservation before. Realizing that pushed Tim the next step forward, albeit hesitantly. "I need to see you...I mean, do you...do you have some time today?" He couldn't remember the last time he'd volunteered to talk to a shrink with full intention of offering full disclosure in order to get the roots out as well as the wounds they'd caused._

 _"Since you're asking about today, I'm gathering you have some available time yourself this evening since you have so far to drive to my office and then home again? As I recall, that's one of the reasons you chose me - my distance from the Navy Yard is sufficient enough to prevent tongues from wagging. "_

 _"Actually, I'm on leave from work until...I mean...I'm staying here nearby your office for the week ...that is I took a room...so I can...uhm relax and...talk to you - hopefully more than once?"_

 _"Well, I'd say you_ ** _have_** _already taken that first step then, haven't you? That's good. And that gives you some open time this afternoon, I take it?"_

 _"Yes. My boss and Ducky... that is, he's a Psychological Profiler and the M.E..."_

 _"Dr. Mallard. Yes, I'm acquainted with him. I've heard great things about him, actually."_

 _"Yeah, he's the best." Tim offered without hesitation. "Anyway, he agrees with my boss that I shouldn't try to work until..."_

 _"Until you speak with someone a few times, I take it?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Sounds very serious, Agent McGee."_

 _"Tim. Please."_

 _"All right. Tim. As a matter of fact, I do have time to see you today. How's about one this afternoon?"_

 _"Yes. I'll be there. And thank you."_

 _"With your need to see me at least twice more in the time you'll be close by, as you say, It sounds like you need a fairly freed up schedule. Luckily, my calendar has just this afternoon become just that for the week. My family's vacation has been suddenly cancelled with my wife being called home to her folks unexpectedly. So, I'll be able to schedule you in as we see fit after we've talked, all right?_

 _"Wow. Okay. Thank you."_

 _"I'll see you at one then?"_

 _"Yes. And thanks."_

 _"You're quite welcome, Agent McGee."_

**End Flashback***

Nervously, Tim arrived at the man's office. His stomach was in knots because he knew the first thing he'd have to do was relive the nightmare once again. In his gut, he knew it was the only way to really sort this mess out in his head once and for all and possibly get rid of the nightmares. His heart, on the other hand, wasn't sure he was up to that challenge or to the challenge of feeling everything the experienced had caused him to feel that night, all over again. Only the voices of his mentors urging him on in his head, kept his feet moving now. They'd never steered him wrong before, especially when they were in agreement about something like they were on this. With every footfall now, the words replayed over and over in his head. _"Need you to be okay - for you." "Forcing yourself to carry on as though all is fine, is not healthy for you." "Need you to be okay - for you."_

Before he could think to turn around and leave, the door to the man's office opened, revealing a tall, stately man, clean shaven, trim and respectably dressed in a suit, with a welcoming smile on his face, as if already working to cut Tim's flare of fear off at the pass. Reaching out his hand, he welcomed Tim's in a warm handshake that was professional and kind. Dropping his hand, he gestured into the room behind him as he spoke.

"Hello, Agent McGee. I'm glad you could make it. Why don't you come in? I was just about to pour myself a cup of coffee. Would you like one?

********NCIS*********

"Anybody heard from Probie?" Tony demanded after a long, grueling morning of pouring over clues, chasing leads and with undeniably deliberateness, avoiding the topic of their missing teammate's whereabouts. Just because his whole body ached and his mind was full of not so nice photographic stills from the crime scene doesn't mean he wasn't still majorly pissed that the team probie and computer geek was a no-show. A heated glare from the boss reminded him sharply that the boss was well aware of the younger man's absence _\- hell, from what it seemed like, the man probably sanctioned it, himself! Oh, Crap! What the hell was wrong with Tim? Him not helping out at the crime scene is beginning to make sense now! But, what about Tim?_

Ziva'd held her tongue all day but did not miss the growing sense of agitation from Tony or the barely leashed concern from Gibbs on the subject of their missing teammate. She watched the Team Leader and Medical Examiner speak briefly this morning and could tell quite plainly that they were not only speaking of Tim, but were expressing worry about him as well. With her own concerns growing, she'd done all she could throughout the day - pray for him as she kept on working.

Gibbs glanced up at his team. They'd worked hard all morning. It was time to let them refuel, albeit while keeping it short. Standing up, he reached into his wallet and withdrew a twenty dollar bill. He held it out as he sat back down. "Lunch is on me. Thirty minutes."

"Thanks, Boss!" Tony beamed as he strode across the room and accepted the money from the Team Leader. "Coming, Ziva?"

With a serious look on her face, Ziva shook her head. "No, Tony. However, I would appreciate it if you would pick me up a chef salad."

"Okay." The Senior Field Agent replied while confusion marred his features. Clearly he couldn't understand why she was choosing to remain working through lunch when the boss had just given them clearance not to be.

Once Tony had slipped into the elevator as the doors were closing and disappeared from the floor, Ziva was out of her seat and standing in front of Gibbs' desk before he even saw her move.

"What are you not telling us about McGee?"

 **********NCIS***********

Watching his new patient fight his way back to the here and now after just reliving - for him - the horribly traumatic experience that had brought him to this point, Dr. Finnerty knew the rough, uneven breathing, the clenched fists and the pacing were all normal. After listening for close to thirty minutes while the words came: hauntingly broken in some places, agitatedly fast in others and even whisper soft in some, he also knew that it was important to bring him back now without hesitation and without any residual fear that he was still back in those awful moments. He began with empathy:

"That's a lot to hold inside and it's good that you've gotten it all out Tim. Now that we've ripped the band aid off, you can begin to experience the healing - it's a process that will take some time."

He spoke strongly but in a normal tone that would not leave the obviously struggling young man feeling like he had done anything wrong or deserving of negative judgment but this had to be done before that could even begin.

"Let me be firm about something, Tim. Dr. Mallard _and_ Agent Gibbs are both correct in what they have told you. Nothing could have _ever_ made what happened, your fault!"

Instantly, Tim's feet stopped moving, as if they'd just been given permission to do so. He seemed drawn to the window, his face turning towards it as if trying to soak up the rays of sunshine lingering in the distance outside. His back to the Doctor when he stopped pacing, Tim stared out at the night as the tremors and angrily aborted tears finally cooperated and slid away back into hiding. As the man spoke, the patient could only nod to let him know he'd heard him; the ability to form any more words, it seemed, had failed him.

"Let's take this up tomorrow. I want you to spend the rest of the day - relaxing - doing whatever you enjoy doing - and NOT thinking on this All right?"

Tim nodded but still couldn't look at the man. "I can try."

Clasping a comforting hand on Tim's shoulder, the Doctor spoke quietly but with firmness. "Look at me."

Given his ingrained manners, Tim couldn't refuse to obey. He looked at the man he'd just bared his anguished soul to, expecting judgment and belittlement at the very least. It was what he was used to.

" _None_ of this is your fault, Tim. Make that your second assignment for the night, should your stubborn mind refuse to obey the first. Remind yourself repeatedly of that." The older man conversationally ordered, his face morphing into a slight smile.

With a soft smile and a quietly spoken promise to do his best, Tim quietly thanked the man and headed out, his thoughts on a rollercoaster once more

****NCIS*****

Gibbs sighed wearily as he watched Ziva finally head out for the night, a long afternoon of working the case finally behind them. It had been hard to stand firmly silent in the face of her questions regarding Tim's well-being, but he'd done it - for all their sake's. He would _keep_ doing it, too - so long as he needed to in order to protect them as best he could from the pain of this situation.

*****NCIS*****

Wearily trudging through his own front door at well past 2100 hours, Ducky didn't stop moving until he reached his bedroom, too tired for anything other than sleep. He was still worried about Tim, though. The fact that they'd been too busy the entire day to check on him had him feeling worried long before now. Before getting ready for bed, he checked his voicemail, hoping to have gotten a message from the younger man at some point in the day. With a sigh of relief, he heard what he needed to in order for his mind to rest at ease:

 _"I did it, Ducky. Talked to a shrink. Feel like I've been through the wringer all over again and I can't seem to stop thinking about it now, no matter how hard I try. But, I did it. ***Sigh*** I'll call you again... when I've had some time to... process...I promise."_

Hanging up on the voicemail, Ducky sighed sadly. "Oh, Timothy, I _am_ sorry, dear boy. But there was no there was no other way for you to begin to heal, I'm afraid."

* * *

 _watch?v=J_gSWTQKE-0 &   
_


	9. Chapter 9

_Warning: Mention of Off-screen non-con situation between O/C adult & child - Case related only._

* * *

 _1945 Friday_

Tony hadn't even made it to his car before his phone rang. "This better not be what I think it is." He muttered as he snapped it open. "DiNozzo."

 _"Meet me out front. Ziva's already there."_

"Great. Not like we needed sleep anyway, right?"

 _"Missing 5 year old navy dependent, DiNozzo. We sleep when he's home safe again."_

"I know, Boss. It's just..."

The empty silence of a lost call was the only response he got. Trudging wearily, he made his way back to the front of the building in time to climb into the backseat as Gibbs took shotgun and they quickly cleared the yard. This would be their third case in two days. As they barreled down the road with a less than happy Ziva at the wheel, Tony found himself hoping like heck that they'd find the child safely and quickly and be able to go home and get some sleep.

 _ *******NCIS*******_

Tim's nightmare filled sleep had him tossing and turning, sweating and shivering in tandem it seemed, with the constantly changing landscape that crossed his mind throughout the hours of the late night on into the early morning. Visions of Tony shooting himself out of guilt as he glared mutinously at Tim had him sweating as he tried to save the older man but was pushed away, while calmer visions of Tony crying at his feet, shamed and remorseful kept him swept up in uncertainty because this Tony didn't seem real.

As if desperate for sleep, his mind refused to allow him to awake from any of it, keeping him locked in the turmoil, unwilling to let him go. It seemed to go on forever. Oblivion, when it finally came to his rescue, snuck up on him and stole him away, at long last, giving his body a chance to rest, albeit briefly.

 ******NCIS******

Abby was worried. She hadn't heard from Tim since early this morning when his whole world was crashing down around him, thanks in a large part, to _her_ failure to keep his secret. She'd been trying to reach him on his cell phone for most of the day - but had no results. That wasn't like him and that worried her even more. Even with a lot on his mind, he wasn't usually the one to _not_ let her know he was okay.

Her babies were resting after a hard day's work, so she closed up her lab and headed down to talk to Ducky. He would know how Tim was doing. In fact, he would know exactly where Tim was. Of that, she was sure. She was also nearly 100% sure he would still be here, even this late.

Several extremely frustrated minutes later, she'd come up empty there, too. It seemed that the kindly man had actually had the nerve to go home without informing her. _Honestly! How was she supposed to keep track of her family members when they do stuff like that? Don't they know she couldn't make sure they're safe if she couldn't keep track of them?_

 _ *******NCIS*******_

At the end of the day, or at least, what there is of it for the MCRT at 2345, they were battle weary, yet successful, having safely recovered the missing little boy from the clutches of his maniacal uncle on a mission to launch the boy into space for his own protection. They were emotionally raw and beaten with the discovery that the he'd taken it upon himself to quote _"deflower his angel boy in preparation for what would be a life without the comforts of a woman, yet the only life that was safe for him"_

Once the Uncle had been booked into custody, the little boy had been returned to the loving and very grateful arms of both Navy Lieutenant parents; albeit as he was being checked over at the local hospital. When told of what had been done to their innocent child, they raged against the unfairness of a judicial system that would undoubtedly let the guilty man live out his days in an asylum instead of prison where he belonged, but even more, they raged against their innocent child's life being forever tainted with this awful memory. They were sentiments and gut feelings that every member of the MCRT sympathized, if not empathized with.

With the long understood unspoken directive that the reports could wait until the team had gotten some sleep under them and had a clearer head with which to write said reports, they all headed to their respective homes. Getting there seemed endlessly long, with nothing more on their minds than how to fall into their comfortable beds and the relief of knowing they'd been told to sleep in and not report in until 0900.

 _ *******NCIS*********_

 _Team's sleeping in, so no calls before 9_

Seeing that text message from Gibbs on her phone at 0700 Saturday morning, Abby could only frown. _Poor babies, working so hard for three days straight!_ Sure, they've done it before - lots of times, but that never kept Abby from feeling badly for them when they did. This time however, it actually left her feeling relieved because that meant that Tony wouldn't have time to even think about anything else. Reminded of the team's need for sleep, kept her from even considering talking to Ducky before she got to work. After all, the man was aging as it was and needed sleep just as much, if not more so than the others.

 ******NCIS******

0800 found Ziva already starting her day as well, feeling both refreshed and concerned at the same time. With her own physical self finally feeling at least a little rested, her mind retuned once again, to the sight of her absent teammate's empty desk. Thankful that she had arrived early enough to enjoy the peace and quiet of an empty squad room, she can't help but cast her thoughts over the landscape of the last week. A lot had happened in here that was far beyond any sense of normal she'd ever known. With her background and upbringing, that was saying a hell of a lot.

Her thoughts turned to Tony. With all of the evidence she'd gathered through observation and pieces of conversations she'd heard, along with what she'd read about those 'friends', the picture of what had happened was fairly clear. It was certainly a lot less blurry than it had been in the days before she'd helped Abby track them down.

She wondered how the interrogation had gone. Even though she'd helped locate and round them up, she knew better than to expect to be read into that any further because it was something so personal that even Abby was sworn to secrecy. The seal on her own cooperation, however, had been Tim's almost desperate request that she not dig deeper into it. Still, with the educated conjecture of what had taken place just this past Sunday night, visually imprinted on her brain, her concern wrapped itself tightly around the Senior Field Agent and his endless possible reactions to finding out the truth. Even with a less than perfectly clear picture, her heart hurt for him. Especially, in light of what they'd witnessed last night. Truth be told, she was still struggling to wrap her mind around that awful situation and with everything she'd seen and done in her life that was saying a lot.

 _ **********NCIS***********_

Eight-thirty Saturday morning found Dr. Finnerty looking over his patient with a scrutiny that would have done Gibbs proud. He hadn't initially been happy when Tim had set the appointment this early - as if doing so would fix himself faster, but the doctor hadn't wanted to be discouraging in any way, so he'd let Tim roll with it. He'd long ago leaned that it was in the patient's best interest for them to be allowed to set at least some of their own deadlines and appointments as a way of regaining some control when having it taken from them due to a traumatic experience, like Tim had, was what had brought them to him in the first place.

It was pretty much a given that in choosing the time, Tim obviously wasn't wanting to be alone with the memories and the anguish of what had been done to him any longer than absolutely necessary. That was certainly understandable. In fact, he was exhibiting a predictable response to enduring the difficult task he'd managed yesterday of letting it out. Looking at him now with that in mind, Dr. Finnerty found himself relieved that he'd gone along with his patient's insistence that they consult this soon after yesterday's difficult session

Although Tim at first glance, seemed more rested, a closer look revealed a haunted look about him, as if the bulk of his crisis was still following him everywhere. Even with his back to the room as he stared out the window, the younger man's posture and almost mournful demeanor was a testament to the lingering effects of this nightmare he came here seeking help to shed. It was time to draw the rest of what was weighing him down, out into the light of day.

"How'd you do with your homework assignments?" Dr. Finnerty knew Tim didn't need to be reminded of what they'd been. Even so, his own mind ran back over them without hesitation:

 _I want you to spend the rest of the day - relaxing - doing whatever you enjoy doing - and NOT thinking on this All right?"_

 _None of this is your fault, Tim. Make that your second assignment for the night, should your stubborn mind refuse to obey the first. Remind yourself repeatedly of that."_

With a sigh so deep, the movement of his shoulders was clearly visible, Tim turned and faced the man who had addressed him on this painful subject with countless variables for the second time in less than 24 hours. "I failed."

"Why do you believe you failed, Tim?"

"I couldn't stop thinking about it." The young man admitted with some obvious difficulty.

Taking in his patient's quickened breathing and twitching hands, he knew Tim was already becoming uncomfortable with where this discussion was obviously headed. Still, he kept pushing, needing Tim to express openly what was on his mind. "What exactly was it that you couldn't you stop thinking about, Tim?"

"The possibility - what's gonna happen..." With a shudder Tim looked away, unable to even finish the thought, the vivid recollection of the scenario that had been hounding him in his sleep for the last two nights, suddenly too real in his mind again.

"When _what_ happens, Tim? " Dr. Finnerty pushed in a conversational tone.

Sighing heavily, the younger man once again turned back around and faced the outside world through the window, instead of the one inside.

Rather than find that rude, the doctor let it go. He knew it meant his patient was struggling with finding a way to explain what was on his mind. Undaunted, he pushed just as hard in a new direction that he knew fed off of this one. "Tell me about the nightmares."

Tim spun around, his eyes wide and his mouth open in shock.

"I can see it in your eyes, Tim.

As if shamed by this, the young man turned back to the window.

"There is nothing to worry about. They're a natural progression of a traumatic experience, unless you're repressing the event, which by your very _presence_ here, says you're not. You _need_ to talk about it further. Purge it, so to speak - air it out completely so that you can begin to heal."

Tim nodded before he turned back once again to finally face the discussion he couldn't run away from. He looked down at his feet. "I thought so too - the progression, I mean. Except now..."

"Now, they've progressed to something _other_ than what happened that night?" The Doctor asked knowingly, his tone sympathetic yet encouraging enough to keep the young man talking.

Surprise was the obvious reaction from Tim, once again, although he again said nothing. It didn't take him long to get it that the Doc had seen enough cases come to know what he was talking about. Still, his mind stumbled over the words he needed to say.

Doctor Finnerty's eyebrows went up, a familiar enough gesture thanks to the years of working for Gibbs, that Tim knew it meant that he still had the floor and the doc was still waiting for an answer.

Refocusing on the question he'd been asked, Tim sighed while he offered up the truth, even as another shudder rippled through him, his eyes still going everywhere but back to the doctor. "Yeah. Now, it's like Tony's haunting me for trying to protect him from finding out what he did."

"Haunting you _how_ , Tim? What does he say to you?"

Shivering again with the all too real sensory projection of actually experiencing the epitome of his nightmare, Tim tried to explain. "It's awful. He's..."

 **********NCIS**********

By 0930, the team's Saturday had turned into yet another blizzard of work with a third call out before their second had even been put to bed. This time, there was no smart remark from Tony, merely a deep frown of aggravation as they headed out again. Gibbs could certainly understand where his Senior Field Agent was coming from. He, too felt beyond frustrated but for an entirely different reason. Going like this, with the job taking center stage with a new case every day was leaving absolutely no room to talk to Tony about the situation with Tim.

Last night had been a soul deep shard of pain wrapped up in what that little boy had been forced to endure at the hands of his Uncle. Gibbs' heart had clenched up with the similarity of it for Tim, despite the age difference. It had taken all of his inner backbone to make it through the time that man had stood in front of him without ripping that bastard's throat out. It certainly had poured fresh salt on the open wound he had no ability to heal by himself. And every day that was going by with it unresolved for his boys was another layer that would feel like a deeper deception and cover up to Tony when they did finally get to tell him.

Complications and the effects of being a man down and their computer whiz at that - meant it was another long night for them where going home for some shut-eye didn't happen until nearly 2300 hours. It was, as Gibbs feared it would turn out to be, another day and night with little time for thinking or doing anything outside the casework.

 **********NCIS**********

Tossing and turning endlessly for what seemed like hours again Saturday night, Tim finally gave up the attempt to sleep when he happened a glance at the clock and noticed it was barely midnight. He'd been able to do nothing all day since leaving Dr. Finnerty's office around eleven but think back over his morning session with his new shrink. Recounting for the kindly, compassionate man, the details of the horrible nightmare that had plagued him for the last two nights had been nearly as harrowing as recounting for him the actual awful experience with Tony that had set this whole mess in motion to begin with had been.

Tim hadn't been surprised that it would monopolize his thoughts for the remainder of the day as he did his best to busy himself with swimming laps in the pool, working out in the hotel fitness center and mindlessly pounding away on his laptop in hopes of letting it out through his fingertips in his formerly forsaken pastime of free-writing. In fact, even his doctor had warned him that it could and probably would happen since he had a major decision to make. _Should he tell Tony?_ Actually, he had a second decision to make in full relation to that first one. _If he decided to tell him, how would he go about doing so? Exactly what would he tell him?_

Feeling lonely all of a sudden, Tim realized he hadn't actually spoken to anyone on his team since Friday morning. Picking up his cell phone, he flipped it open, undecided who to call at this late hour. They all needed their sleep. Reminding himself of that fact, he set his phone back down. He quickly picked it back up again, realizing he hadn't even bothered to check his messages all day. This mess really was kicking the crap out of him if he couldn't even remember to do that much!

Listening to them now, he was startled to realize most of his messages were from Abby. Poor thing had been worried about him all day Ten messages in all spelled out just how worried she'd been. Considering the last time she'd seen him had been when she'd left him in her lab with Gibbs and Ducky, he could understand her concern. He could also, do something to ease it now. He quickly fired off a text message to her to hopefully relieve her of her worry.

 _Sorry - I've been talking... ...with a dr. ...working through...this. Not all here right now. I didn't mean to worry you. I'll call you later today. I promise._

Setting his phone back down, he picked up his swim trunks and changed into them before donning his sweats as he mentally chastised himself for not including a query as to her well-being in his message to Abby. He shook his head as if to dispel that thought. He didn't need to focus on her right now and she'd understand that. At least, he hoped she would.

Quietly, he stepped out of his room and headed to the pool once again. He needed to burn through this energy and unresolved conflict enough to think straight. Maybe a few laps in the thankfully open 24 hours pool would do it. He sure as hell hoped so.

 _Can't ignore the fact that Tony's called you, too. The man's left you half-dozen messages! He's concerned about you, too._

As those sharp reminders ran through his mind, so did the the inability to completely separate the Tony haunting him in his sleep now, from the Tony that is his friend and teammate. The plethora of emotions and unresolved issues drove Tim's laps into a near-frenzied pace as his pent up emotions finally found an outlet. By the time he'd worn himself out, almost an hour had gone by and he could barely crawl out of the pool. Dropping down on the edge, a boneless pile of goo, he sat there wrapped in his towel, his mind blissfully blank at last.

 ********NCIS********

Sunday found the team back at work on the current case with the paperwork from the last one still waiting for them as well. Fate, it seemed, had decided to laugh at them, destroying their plan; their ability to carry it out - to make sure that Tony was informed of what he'd inadvertently done to Tim. Thankfully, by 1100 hours, they'd wrangled the current case down to its' paperwork enough that Gibbs could finally break away for a coffee run.

With his mind churning endlessly, a spectrum of thoughts so wide, he could barely keep up, his mind eventually made it back to the mess with his boys. _Damn, he wished they could catch a break long enough to talk to Tony before it was too late to salvage the Team's cohesiveness_. _Tony hated being the last to know anything and he would sure as hell hate it in this case._

Gibbs stopped cold for a moment, his feet stuck to the ground haltingly. _Had Ducky even talked to Tim about them doing that yet? Can't talk to Tony without Tim being on board with it._ Dragging out his phone, he hit the speed button for his long-time friend. "Duck, you heard from Tim?"

 _"Hello, Jethro. As a matter of fact, he_ ** _did_** _send me a text message earlier this morning to the effect of letting me know he is in his words, 'getting through it.'_

"Doesn't sound like him."

 _"No, it does_ ** _not_** _. However, it_ ** _does_** _allow us a glimpse of how shaken having to actually talk about this with a Psychologist has left him."_

"Yeah." Gibbs blew out a tired sigh.

 _"I do believe the way his mind was playing tricks on him with Anthony's possible reaction threw Timothy for a terrible curve, Jethro. It was the epitome of what he desperately attempted to insure didn't happen to begin with."_

"So, we're still not tellin' Tony?"

 _"I think it best if we seek Timothy's Therapist's counsel on this before we act, my friend. I believe that it is what is best for both of them."_

"I agree."

 _"Good. I shall speak with Timothy in a bit."_

"I'll be right there, Duck."

 _"Very well, I shall wait for you, then. However, I will_ ** _not_** _deviously place the call on speaker unless I seek his permission first."_

"You think he'll have a problem with it?"

 _"What I believe, Jethro, is that Timothy has had enough control taken from him because of this. He certainly does not deserve to be deprived of any choice that is his to make; most especially by you or I."_

"Ok." Gibbs agreed albeit slowly. He hadn't even thought of it that way. He'd only been concerned with hearing for himself that Tim was okay. Needing caffeine even more so now, he hurried his trip to the closest place to get the real stuff. With a strong effort, he stuffed all other thoughts to the recesses of his mind and focused on just getting back to the building as quickly as he could.

 ******NCIS*******

Another session with his Doctor, this time one later in the morning, had Tim still trying to decide if and what to tell Tony. It'd been a long torturous couple of hours since waking up from yet another troubled sleep at 0700. Hours spent trying to figure out where to go from here. He knew he needed to tell Tony. But, he REALLY didn't want to!

"It's the right thing to do, Tim."

"Meaning my keeping it from him wasn't?" Tim asked agitatedly as he paced the man's office floor for the umpteenth time since they'd begun talking about this thirty minutes ago. "What you don't know, can't hurt you!"

"Tim, you know, tha..."

"The _only_ thing telling him will do, is devastate him!" Tim defended his hard-won fight to keep this mess from his friend and teammate. Unable to sit still, he continued to pace the office, his steps fueled by a growing frustration and supply of anger. "He may be a jerk sometimes, but he doesn't deserve this! Let his memory _stay_ blank! It's not a good idea. It's not gonna change anything!"

Dr. Finnerty waited for his patient's emotions to run the gambit. He knew Tim needed this outlet. He also understood the urgent need to keep this from escalating. At the same time, if Tony found out on his own, Tim's choice to protect his friend this way, it was very possible that there would be no recovering from that at all. He felt relieved when Tim finally ran out of steam and absently sat down in the chair next to the table he'd already left his phone on.

 ********NCIS********

Taking a seat in his desk chair down in autopsy, as Gibbs paced nearby, Ducky picked up his cell phone and called Tim's number, relieved when the call was picked up, albeit absently.

 _"Hello?"_

"Hello, Timothy! How are you, young man?"

 _"Ducky?"_

"Yes, dear boy. I realize that I may be intruding on your needed time of solitude so I shall keep this short. I merely wished to hear for myself how you are doing. Jethro is also quite anxious for an update on you."

 _"Why? I mean..."_

Hearing a click on the line, the M.E. realized that he'd been placed on speaker and addressed his suspicion about it while deliberately dropping the discussion about who was concerned about him and why. "Timothy, might I ask where you are at the moment?"

 _"**Sigh** Talking with Dr. Finnerty."_

"I see. I _do_ apologize for the interruption."

 _"It's not your fault, Ducky. I answered my phone. Besides, I need your opinion on something, anyway."_

"Oh? All right. What is it you need my opinion on, my friend? You sound quite winded and upset, if I might suggest. Are you all right?"

 _"You and Gibbs both already think I should tell Tony what he .. what happened...don't you?"_

"Timothy, as Jethro is standing beside me at the moment, may I place you on speaker so that we may both give you our honest opinion?"

 _"*sigh** Can you just_ ** _tell_** _me, please?"_

" _Yes_ , Timothy, I'm afraid we _do_ feel that, although you have put immense effort into keeping your friend from the pain and knowledge of what happened between you that night while he was not himself, Anthony _should_ be informed and preferably before his keen sense of investigation and the street smart law enforcement officer within him, puts the pieces together for himself. "

 _"Part of me agrees with you, Ducky, part of me knows you're right, but..."_

"Timothy, what you must focus on is the reality that should Anthony make that discovery on his own, it is entirely likely that your teammate will feel betrayed for having been kept from the very truth you have feared all along he might react badly to."

 _"And if he goes off the deep end when I tell him? Then what? Then I'll have humiliated him for no good reason! Ducky you know how Tony is! Either way, it's gonna end badly!"_

"I realize that your mind has begun to depict such a possibility, Timothy. And I do believe that we should take that very seriously, as _you_ already have. In fact, that is why, I believe we should do so in a setting much like the one you have allowed yourself to begin to truly work through this."

 _"I agree, Dr...Mallard, is it? My name is Dr. Finnerty. As Tim's Doctor for his recovery through this, I firmly insist he NOT be pushed to or even allowed to discuss this with Tony without both you and I present. It is vitally important that both of them have complete support for the discussion. You and I both know it will be an extremely difficult interaction for them as it is."_

Ducky's eyebrows marched upwards in shock. Mentally, he applauded the man and the young agent for finding himself such an obviously beneficial professional for the help he'd needed. The M.E. immediately glanced at Gibbs as he responded to the direction from Tim's shrink of choice. "Yes, I completely agree, Dr. Finnerty, that both young men should be fully supported while they discuss the unfortunate events of that night and how they can possibly recover without damaging their relationship or their own psyche."

 _"I am well aware that it is highly unlikely you will be able to get Tony to agree to see me - so..."_

"I assure we will bring Anthony to you." Ducky uncharacteristically interrupted to firmly offer reassurance in this situation.

 _"I am more than willing to come closer to you- meet you somewhere. So long as..."_

"My home is available with no chance of tongues wagging." Inadvertently interrupting again, and once again to make an offer that would speed things up for the two men at the heart of the matter, Ducky mentally head-slaps himself.

 _"Good. The sooner, the better, Doctor. Today or tomorrow would actually be best."_

"I wholeheartedly concur. Let me speak with Agent Gibbs in regard to Anthony's work schedule. Perhaps we can settle on a time for early this evening or tomorrow evening."

 _"I'll wait to hear from you sometime within the next few hours or so. It's too important to leave any longer than necessary."_

"Agreed. I shall keep you informed of our progress on the matter. If I may...I'd like to take this moment to thank you for taking such good care of our Timothy,"

 _"I'm merely guiding his path back in the right direction, Dr. Mallard, but rest assured he is doing fine, all things considered. I await your update. Good night." **Click**_

Ducky placed his phone down on the desk and sat back in his chair. "The time is now, Jethro." He warned sadly. "Anthony _must_ be told. Timothy's doctor will be present and that will go a long way in ensuring things do not go too terribly wrong for either of them."

"Aughta drag 'em to your place right now." Gibbs worried. "Waitin' any longer isn't helpin'"

"No, that it is not. However, we must work with Dr. Finnerty on this. This evening should be time enough."

"Ok. I'll get Tony to your place 1900 tonight unless we get a case. That'll give Tim and the Doc time to get back here."

"Perhaps you should request your team be allowed some down time, at least until this delicate matter has been resolved, Jethro."

"Yeah. The last thing we need is another call out before this gets taken care of." Gibbs took his phone out of his pocket. "Gotta get ahold of Vance first."

"Do keep me updated, won't you?" Ducky requested politely.

"Yeah." The Team Leader headed out, his cell phone ringing before he'd even managed to open it to use it. "Yeah. Gibbs...Okay. Got it."

Still in Autopsy, Ducky shook his head mournfully. _Just what that group does not need right now; another case!_


	10. Chapter 10

Taking the time to stop and think over everything weigh on his mind, Tony realized he was completely and utterly frustrated beyond reason. Gibbs had disappeared from the squad room yet again in the middle of the paperwork phase of putting the latest case to bed. Between that and the complete lack of response from Tim in his absence, several unsuccessful trips to the younger man's apartment while working back to back cases -to no avail and the feeling that El Jefe was fully aware of the details of what was going on with Probie; of which no one was sharing with him, Tony began to feel more than slighted - in fact, downright pissed. After all, he'd already apologized through his messages and in person in the days following that Monday - several times, in fact. So, what else did he have to do to get this kid to treat him like a human being again? Or to be let it on whatever it is he's missed?

Equally frustrating is the way in which Abby'd become kind of clingy. So...what the hell was going on? Did she really think he would believe there was nothing behind her 'impromptu' movie night with him? He wasn't an idiot and he hadn't forgotten how she and Ziva had been huddled up in the squad room earlier that day. It also hasn't escaped him that all of this weirdness started after that god-awful morning he couldn't remember hours of his time from the night before - the night Tim had last rescued him from the bar.

He just wished everyone would stop trying so hard to keep whatever was going on around here from him. The way he saw it, Ziva and Ducky knew too and just weren't telling him. Hell, he wished his mind would stop acting like a rookie cop without clues instead of the seasoned cop and investigator he was!

And if all of that wasn't bad enough, he'd been getting the cold shoulder from his college fraternity brothers for days now. These very same guys who'd taken him out for drinks now won't return his calls so he was really clued in to the realization that he was missing a very important piece to this very perplexing puzzle that now had his complete focus. Hell, he couldn't even concentrate on this damned case report that had been due an hour ago!

 *********NCIS********

"You seemed unwilling to let Agent Gibbs hear what you had to say." Dr. Finnerty put out there for Tim to address. "You're angry with him."

Tim swallowed hard and looked away for a long silent minute. Swallowing hard again, he looked back at the good doctor briefly. "I guess I am."

"Why?"

"He refused to be there for me in the beginning. I was standing in front of him bandaged up, obviously in pain and not myself - and his only concern was Tony."

"Didn't you tell me he asked you how you were?"

"Token. He never _really_ wants to hear the actual truth - at least when it comes to me. If it's not case information or work related, it doesn't matter to him what I have to say. Even if I had told him the truth, he would have just brushed me off and focused back on Tony. He's always done that. Besides, it was blatant. His real concern in that moment was still Tony."

"Seems to me, he changed his tune rather quickly - started putting you first later that morning when he and Ducky took you to the conference room, his only concern then was you."

"Yeah. Maybe. Probably because Ducky made him do it."

"That what you really think, Tim?"

"Gibbs doesn't do an about face on anything unless Ducky weighs in on it and heavily. He's always been our buffer, the one person who can snap Gibbs back into some perspective."

"And yet, according to what you told me yourself, all it took for Agent Gibbs to finally fully focus on you was for you to ask him to stop badgering Abby and look at the evidence that spoke for itself." Dr. Finnerty replies with all seriousness.

Tim sighed. "Yeah. I know. It's just..."

"Felt like too little, too late?"

"Yeah. I guess that's the best way to put it. All I know is that I'm not ready to talk to him yet." Tim admitted firmly. "Not that he'll talk about it anyway. He'll just brush it off and carry on. Always does."

"Fair enough. You _do_ know he'll be there tonight, right?"

"Yeah. I figured. So long as I don't have to talk directly to him about any of it, I'll be fine. Besides, _you'll_ be there." Tim said as he turned to head out. He stopped and looked back. "You _will_ be there, right?

"Tim. Nothing, short of someone dying will stop me from being there. In fact, I'll probably be driving in right behind you, that is if you're checking out of your hotel room soon." Dr. Finnerty vowed.

"I was planning on getting in another swim first." Tim admitted.

"It helps you relax and let it all go." Dr. Finnerty surmised knowingly.

"Yeah. Actually has me considering moving to an apartment complex with a pool." Tim opened up and admitted.

"Why not your own house with a pool, Mr. Gemcity?" The doctor gibed with a grin.

"I'd have to write another book to be able to afford that." The young man admitted ruefully, his tone completely serious.

"That should be easy enough for you."

Tim shook his head. "No. It's not. At least not anymore."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Tim sighed. It'd been ages and ages since that had been on his mind actively, but now that it'd come back up again, he really did want to be able to actually talk about it and try to make some sense of it , at least enough to possibly be able to salvage the writer within him. "I really would."

"But not until this situation with Tony's resolved."

"Is that stupid?" The young man wondered seriously.

"No, Tim. It's not stupid at all. It's normal and even more important, it's how you feel capable of dealing with things - one thing at a time and there's nothing wrong with that."

Tim let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. "Whew."

"Feel better now?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe a little."

While you're driving back today, Tim, I'd like you to think about something."

"Okay?"

"I want you to focus on your relationship with Gibbs. Why it is that it almost pained you to have to admit that you're angry and hurt by the way he treated you those first few hours when you needed him to be there for you most of all."

"You want m..." Tim tried to repeat but the unexpected hit blindsided him.

"It might help you put that part of this in perspective in time for the meeting tonight."

"Sounds like you want me thinking of anything other than Tony."

"That's part of it. But, more importantly, it will give you a little more contemplation about something that you know needs fixing, whether for you or for the team, that's up to you to decide, but it still needs fixing."

"Contemplation?"

"There has to be some reason that's kept you working for him; kept you taking it all and repeatedly coming back for more even though, as _you_ said, he's always treated you this way. Maybe if you think on it for a while, you'll be able to step back and find that again, take things with him from there."

"Forget how he treated me _this_ time, you mean?"

"No. Not at all. But, maybe temper it with some of that rationale that's kept you on his team

Tim sighed. "You're right. I have lost sight of that. It would be nice to have it back."

"The rationale?"

"The desire to be on this team."

"And maybe the way to talk to him about it?"

Tim sighed. "You're not gonna let this go, are you?"

"It's a festering wound, Tim. Can't leave it untreated."

"Ok. I'll think on it while I'm driving back."

"Good. I know it's a lot to think about, but I know you're up to the challenge."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Guess I'll go take that swim and then check out. I _will_ see you there?"

"Tim..."

"Sorry. I'm sorry. It's just... I'm sorry. " Flustered, Tim headed out as he worked to calm himself down. For all this talk about thinking over his relationship with Gibbs, his mind wasted no time in going back to what he was really worried about. He really didn't want to face Tony tonight. Even with both Dr. Finnerty and Ducky there, it was going to be excruciating pouring this over Tony. It wasn't something he was looking forward to at all. He definitely needed to work off some of this pent up frustration and nervousness in the pool!

 *********NCIS********

"No." Vance shook his head with regret.

"Leon, this is important!"

"I know, Gibbs and normally, given that I'm positive that this has everything to do with the interrogations I had to conduct earlier this week, I would do it if I could. But I'm sorry, right now, I'm short two Senior Field Agents on other teams. Yours is the only team in readiness for field work. Bump this to tomorrow - if you're not working a case - and I'll give your team the next two days off."

"Just not today." Gibbs sarcastically surmised.

"I'm sorry. I can't." The Director replied seriously, letting the older man's attitude go unaddressed.

Shaking his head in silent anger, Gibbs turned and left the room. Descending the stairs from above his team so he hollered down at them. "Gear up. Dead Navy Sailor across the way."

In short order, the team was silently trekking out to the crime scene, this now the only thing on their minds.

 *********NCIS********

Once Tim had gone for that swim and checked out of the hotel and headed home, time seemed to drag to a crawl. It certainly gave him more time to think which was driving him insane because all he could think about was how he still felt uneasy about tonight's meeting with Tony, even with the safety net of both Dr. Finnerty and Ducky being there. For some reason, his mind refused to even go near the subject of his relationship with Gibbs.

Maybe it was the idea of Tony reacting the way his subconscious has been warning him he would that had him feeling this way. Or maybe it was the thought that if worse came to worse and Tony came after Tim for keeping it from him, Gibbs would once again, side with Tony. Whatever it was, he wished he felt more relaxed about it the way Dr. Finnerty attempted to get him to be. It just wasn't there.

Barely thirty minutes into the drive, Tim wasn't happy to hear his phone go off with the ring tone that he'd set up for Dr. Finnerty. This couldn't be good. Quickly, he picked it up and answered the call, but got straight to the point. "Doctor?"

 _"I am sorry, Tim. But, I've just been notified that my wife's mother died in a car accident about an hour ago. My wife needs me right now."_

"Of course, I'm so sorry for your family, Doctor."

 _"Thank you. Tim. I'm asking Ducky to record tonight's meeting - as your doctor I still want full details of how this goes for you - and for Tony."_

"All right. Thank you."

 _"I'll be checking in on you periodically and you can call me any time, Tim. Day or night."_

"I appreciate that, Dr. Finnerty, but I'll be fine."

 _"I have no doubt of that. Just don't get bogged down in other people's expectations. All right?_

"Right. I can remember that."

 _"Good. I'll talk to you tomorrow, then. Goodbye, Tim."_

"Goodbye." With an even heavier heart, Tim closed his phone, tossing it down on the seat beside him. Finding a place to pull over, he did just that, sliding the car up into park, he laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. This was too much to process with all the crap already running around in his head that he couldn't stop worrying about. He needed a minute to pull it together, stuff it all under a rock somewhere so he could concentrate on the drive. Taking a few deep breaths and slowly letting each of them back out in turn, he regained his mental equilibrium enough to concentrate and pulled back out onto the road, this time thinking only of each song on the radio as he turned it up, essentially tuning out the rest of the world.

************NCIS*************

 _"Dr. Mallard?"_

"Yes, this is Dr. Mallard."

 _"This is Rene Cassidy. Dr. Finnerty's secretary. I'm sorry but the doctor won't be able to join you for that meeting tonight. He asked me to give you his regrets but he's had a death in the family."_

"Please convey to him our deepest sympathies. And send him my reassurances that we will carry on as he's requested"

 _"Dr. Finnerty would like you to record the meeting, Dr. Mallard and he asked me to convey to you his confidence that you will be able to be there quote. 'for both of them without fail.' Unquote."_ The young woman continued on with a seriousness that felt ominous.

"Thank you for relaying the message my dear." Ducky ended the call, more than a little rattled at this change of plans and for the unexpected tragedy in the life of Timothy's doctor. He wondered if the young man had been notified. With a heavy heart, irritated at his own touch of anger that had him hanging up on the woman, he realized he couldn't very well call her back now. Sadly, he'd have to have this discussion with Timothy when they met tonight because as of right now, work was calling his name.

 *********NCIS********

Leon Vance wasn't a happy man. He'd put the pieces of what'd been going on with his MCRT together with little problem after that interrogation, even having gone into it nearly blindfolded. What evidence he'd been given had been just enough to get started, knowing the culprits had drugged one of his agents' drinks.

The questions had come a dime a dozen and luckily for the two responsible, the answers had come without a struggle. The bottom line had equaled more understanding about what had his Major Case Response Team's Leader so parentally angry. But, it left a gaping hole regarding the connection of how it had anything to do with Agent McGee.

Yet, the fact that Dr. Mallard had literally dictated that the younger man be given two week's medical leave had already spoken loudly of that, with Gibbs' request cinching it in his mind, even without full understanding. What spoke to him even louder that somehow it did in fact have a lot to do with the younger of the two agents was the fact that Gibbs wanted his team taken off rotation until he'd had a chance to do whatever it is he needed to do with them. That rarely, if ever, happened and the look on the Team Leader's face when he'd first brought it to him had left no doubt, it was serious and personal and affected all of them.

From a people skills standpoint, he was relieved that all of them were here for Agent DiNozzo, able to make sure he was still all right. It didn't escape him that things weren't t like that for Agent McGee and it had him concerned that one of his best agents was going through something without support. Who was making sure _he_ was all right? Understandably, he was speaking with a shrink. That much he got from Dr. Mallard's request. But Vance still wanted undeniable proof that one of his agents wasn't being left to drift alone in the muck of this mess in terms of the others on his team being there for him. With a heavy sigh, he picked up his phone and called the man. The least he could do was check on him.

******NCIS********

Upon arrival at the crime scene, Ducky relayed to Gibbs the phone call he received necessitating the meeting with the boys going forward without Tim's doctor being there. Both of them cast worried glances in the direction of the busy Senior Field Agent who hadn't stopped scowling all morning.

"Soon as this case is over, Duck. Not a minute longer." Gibbs stated, fully expecting this to be carried out.

"I wholeheartedly concur, Jethro." Ducky replied. "The sooner, the better."

Without another word, both of them got back to the case at hand, needing it to be solved quickly yet just as accurately as every other case. They could only hope and pray it wouldn't take long this time. Both of them were on edge and tense, willing the clues to fall into their laps before they'd even gotten back to the office. It was going to be a long day.

***********NCIS***********

Ziva had been holding her tongue for days but seeing the quiet discussion between Ducky and Gibbs and the look of concern they both send in Tony's direction, she felt her stomach drop. Something was definitely wrong. She knew it had to do with Tony and Tim and that night that had been snowballing into something bigger ever since. Very bothered by the not knowing only because it left her in no position to be of any help to any of her friends, all going through this without her, Ziva sighed heavily and forced herself to get back to work. In a desperate attempt to at least to do something for them, she palmed her necklace and spoke softly before once again taking photos of the scene.

***********NCIS***********

Abby had already done, as much as she could while waiting for whatever evidence this new case would bring her, and had dragged her silenced phone out to check for messages from Tim. Having done that a hundred times throughout the course of the morning, all with the same silent, non -response, she wasn't really expecting anything different this time. Since getting that text from him on Saturday when he amended his promise from a call to a text but kept it just the same, she'd been worried about him. For as long as she'd known him, he hadn't ever communicated in such an ambiguous way - at least not with her, as the text he'd sent her then.

 _Sorry, Abby. Really can't talk._

What did that mean? Can't talk now? Can't talk at all? Not yet? Maybe later? Not to her? Maybe to someone else? What did he mean by that?Had something happened to him that he was injured now on top of everything else? Why couldn't he talk?

The questions had been running around in her head in circles all day, nearly keeping her from doing her job. Somehow she'd managed and even managed to keep a solid lid on her whole thought process and the accompanying emotions while she worked. Now, she was idle with nothing to do but wait on the team to come back and she could barely think straight for the worry that was consuming her.

******NCIS******

As the miles disappeared beneath his car, Tim realized it was earlier than he needed it to be and he still had a lot to think about. Pulling into the next gas station he came across, he cut the engine off and sat back for a minute, sighing tiredly. Taking a few breaths in and out, he picked up his phone and checked for new messages to respond to that had come unexpectedly while he'd been trying hard to block everything out except the road, nearly choking in surprise when he heard the first one.

 _"Agent McGee. I just wanted to check and see how you're doing. I conducted the interrogations on the responsible parties. Thought you would like to be aware of that in case you have any questions. If you need to talk, my door is open. Looking forward to having you back on the job as soon as you're ready."_

Vance. Called him? Interrogations? Oh, right those scumbags Tony thought were his friends! Questions? Oh, he had plenty of those! Straightening up, Tim steadied his breathing and readied himself to return the call. He definitely wanted to talk to him. In fact, the sooner, the better!

 _ ********NCIS*********_

Heading back into the squad room with little evidence to speak of on this case, a murder that took place elsewhere but no indications as to where that other place may have been, Tony shrugged off his gear bag and plopped down in his chair. He wished Probie were here to do his magic background tracing quicker so they could concentrate on other avenues of investigation but since he wasn't it wasn't much good dwelling on that.

With a heavy sigh, he dug in and did what he could while Ziva ran the short supply of evidence down to Abby. She'd volunteered to do it and he'd been grateful for it. He needed some peace and quiet for a while so his brain could stop churning on overload. He hoped she'd be down there a while since that meant he had the squad room all to himself.

 _ ********NCIS*********_

"...realize that under the influence as he was, due to the unforeseen situation did not create, Agent DiNozzo can **not** be held accountable for his actions and will **not** be under fire in regard to his career over this." Director Vance's calmly spoken words were like music to Tim's ears as they finally sunk in.

All Tim could do was sit back and soak that good new in. It was everything he'd been worried about for a solid week now! The relief washed over him like gigantic wave that left him weak in the knees

Watching his agent work to process what he'd just told him, Vance found himself surprised that he'd obviously been worried about this. Hadn't he known that's how things worked? Hadn't he been on the job long enough to know that?

"I should have realized that, but all I could think was that with what happened as a _result_ of what they'd done, the legal implications on _that_ end would hurt him." Tim finally spoke, albeit quietly as he glanced at the Director briefly before looking over the man's shoulder. He hoped like hell that the man would not need further explanation.

Vance mentally kicked himself for not realizing _that_ perspective would be the one this sharp-minded young man would be so hard hit by anything that had come from what those scumbags had done. That explained it! Making sure to nod in understanding, He offered his response. "Agent McGee. You don't' have to talk to me about it, But in order to interrogate them, I had to see the evidence. I'm aware of what happened, just not the specifics. The rest of your team has been able to keep tabs on Agent DiNozzo. But, how are _you_ holding up?"

Tim shrugged. "I'm okay. Not looking forward to telling him. You know since he can't remember that night, it's up to me to tell him. "

"Because if he figures it out on his own, he'll lose it?" Vance managed while trying to process the new information he was just now understanding. How had he missed that detail - Agent DiNozzo still doesn't recall what happened to him?

"Something like that. Ducky and the shr...doctor I've been talking to both think it's important that we do and soon. Tony's big on trust. Being the last one to know what he did while he wasn't aware of what he was doing is gonna hit him hard, so..."

"The last to know?" Vance asked in surprise.

"Abby got the evidence. Ducky interpreted it for Gibbs."

"I see."

"And Ziva' most likely put all the pieces together since she was here that next morning."

"So telling Agent DiNozzo is the next step to getting past this?"

"According to the two physiologically knowledgeable men I trust most." Tim quietly admitted. "Hopefully tonight. Ducky and Gibbs will be there."

"Agent McGee, rest assured that no matter what happens when he finds out, your career _and_ his are safe. There will be no mention of this in either of your records."

"Even with my taking the time off?"

"Yes."

"Tony's probably gonna need to do it too."

"Same answer."

"What if he _does_ lose it, Director? When he hears?"

"We'll help him in any way we can. But it will not _touch_ his career."

"Thank you!"

"Thank YOU, Agent McGee - for doing all you could to look out for your fellow teammate despite your own ordeal in the matter. Do what you need to - to take care of yourself. Come back when you're ready."

"Thank you, Director." Tim shook the man's hand and left his office, feeling very much buoyed in spirit for the first time since hearing Dr. Finnerty wasn't going to be there tonight.

 **************NCIS************

Already doing what tests she could with what evidence she had been given, Abby's mind had returned quickly to the quandary of what might be going on with Tim. Her phone sat mockingly silent on her desk while every other machine in the room hummed and sang as it worked. Picking her phone up, she turned it over absently in her palm while the concerned questions kept circling around in her mind.

"Hey."

The quietly spoken greeting startled her but quickly brought a ray of sunshine to her expression. "Timmy!" She squealed as she threw herself into his arms. "You're back!"

Wrapping her up in his arms as much to absorb the impact of her weight, as to impart the warmth of an actual hug that she obviously needed, Tim quietly spoke to her. "No. I'm not." Stepping back, he withdrew his arms. "I'm just here to talk to Vance about the interrogation since he called me and offered me the chance."

Her eyes grew big as she asked in complete awe. "He let you see the interrogation tapes?"

"Yeah." Tim wiped a tired hand across his face. "It wasn't long. They're wimps that folded really quick once he started demanding answers to how, why and how long they'd planned it."

"And?" She demanded. "What'd they say, McGee?"

"Stupid, Abby! It was all so damned stupid! They'd planned it since he 'did it to them on Spring Break'!" He angrily paced her lab as he spelled it out for her.

"Wait! Tony spiked their drinks with a drug? No! That's not something Tony would do!"

"Yeah. I know. Took Vance all of a minute to get the guilty party's name - though right now I'm too pissed to remember what it was."

"So basically, they blamed Tony and retaliated for something he didn't do in the first place?" She asked in outrage.

"Like I said. Stupid!" Tim reiterated as he came to a stop in front of her. "Look, I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls or your texts. I've just..."

"It's okay, Timmy. You've got a LOT on your mind and you're probably all talked out, too. I get it now. I was just worried about you."

"I didn't mean to make you worry." He frowned. "You've been such a rock for me in this Abby. I don't know what I would have done without your help. Thank you. And thank you for being so understanding about the whole, not wanting to talk thing."

"You're welcome, my friend." She answered solemnly as she kissed him on the cheek and stepped back to give him space. "I'm glad to see you're doing better with this. So happy you talked to a professional that was able to help you!"

"Now comes the hard part."

Telling Tony?" She asked sympathetically.

"Telling Tony." He agreed in an expelled breath of air that resonated with worry.

"But, Ducky and your doctor will be there for you, won't they?"

Tim shook his head. Just Ducky. And Gibbs."

"Not your doctor?" She asked in shock. "Why wouldn't he be there for you? Maybe you need a better doctor, Timmy."

"Family emergency, Abby. And, no. I do NOT need to go through talking about it with anyone else!"

"You're right. I'm sorry. I know you're worried but Gibbs and Ducky will be there - for both of you. Everything will work out! I know it will."

"Not if he loses it. And we both know he might."

"Gibbs will make sure he doesn't go off the deep end."

"If he can, Abby. If he can."

 ************NCIS****************

By 1700 hours, with the case finally moving forward thanks to some nameless tipsters calling in their information, they were finally as close to putting this case to bed as they could be. When the boss firmly yet quietly made it clear hours ago that they couldn't leave until this one was completely put away, Tony had felt the tension increase ten-fold in his limbs.

He was tired, hungry and way past frustrated. He felt like he'd been operating from outside his own body, forcing himself to keep his mind on the case. Even while working the case, he'd had lots of time to think with everything he'd had on his mind this morning still circling around and around up there, Tony was now drawn even closer to the idea of talking to Gibbs some more about the chaos. In fact, he kept wishing the next words out of the Team Leader's mouth would be that they could pack it in for the night.

***********NCIS***********

Just up from spending some time talking to Ducky and then Abby again after lunch, nestled into the shadows, unwilling to be seen while he'd stopped to scrutinize how Tony seemed to be doing, Tim frowned. Something was off. Something was _very_ off and that look on Tony's face, well, Tim hadn't seen that look in a VERY long time.

He stayed put, watching as the Boss called the end of the day for the team.

***********NCIS***********

"Pack it in, Da'vid." Gibbs called out only as loud as he needed to for his words to reach Ziva's ears.

She nodded in understanding and closed down her work space. Shouldering her gear bag, she rounded her desk with a quiet 'g'night everyone' just before she got on the elevator when it opened up and disappeared from sight when the doors closed on her, taking her away for the night.

"DiNozzo. With me." Gibbs had already closed down his own work station and was heading around his desk towards the entry way near Tony's desk.

"Boss?" Tony's surprise wasn't really a good thing and it left Gibbs feeling like he hadn't handled this right. Still the younger man kept coming, not keeping him waiting at all. They'd taken all of three steps when from behind them at the top of the stairs, Vance's Administrative Assistant called down to him. "Agent Gibbs! Director Vance wants to see you. He says it's urgent!"

"Not surprised." Gibbs muttered as he glanced apologetically at his Senior Field Agent and motioned for him to relax behind his desk while he dealt with whatever this was.

Tony nodded. "I'll be here, Boss."

On his way up the stairs, Gibbs looked the room over, his eyes moving to the shadowed area beyond his team's work space, nearly stopping in his trek when he saw Tim standing there. Tim shook his head, obviously not wanting to be seen by anyone else. The Team Leader nodded at his absent yet present agent and wondered how he was doing. Making a mental note to check on him as soon as he could, Gibbs kept going on up to the meeting he'd been called to.

***********NCIS***********

Still standing in the shadows, some ten minutes after exchanging glances with the boss and watching him head upstairs, Tim continued to watch Tony. Seeing him impatiently snap his phone shut, startled the younger man into standing upright and looking more closely at him. That look that said he was far from happy and just getting started on digging for the truth seemed to be sitting on him. In fact, if he remembered correctly, that look meant...oh, crap! No! Hell no! Before he could blink, practically ran from the squad room, obviously leaving for the night

Now genuinely worried, Tim hit the stairs. In an attempt to head him off at the pass or at least catch up to his teammate enough to tail him, he poured some speed into his steps. A deep seated feeling of dread pooled in his gut, that worry escalating through the roof when he saw Tony already speeding away. "Damn it!"

Tim ran for his own car and hustled after Tony, but by the time he'd cleared the front gate of the yard himself, the other man's car was no longer in sight. Forcing himself to stay calm, he headed to the Senior Field Agent's apartment, hoping he was just headed home. He'd call for reinforcements when he needed to, but first, he needed to find him.

 _ ******NCIS******_

Getting off the yard as fast as he could had been a knee-jerk reaction. Once he'd cleared the main gate, Tony'd been quick to get to Gibbs' neighborhood. He'd felt a wave of fear go through him earlier when the boss had called him with that clipped order to meet him.

 _"my place - one hour, DiNozzo."_

It felt like a lifetime ago that he'd felt drawn to talk to Gibbs some more about the chaos of that night he couldn't remember, even though it had been just this morning when that feeling had come over him. Oddly enough, the day he'd finally bitten the bullet - decided to seek the man out after work about it, he'd been ordered to meet the man there anyway. He didn't believe in coincidences any more than Gibbs did.

All of this had his gut twisted in knots even though the man's door was never locked. His expectation that his team would come to him when they needed to, understood. Finding the man not home et was discouraging to say the least. Restless, Tony's feet took him to the man's inner sanctuary that was his basement. Maybe the guy was actually here.

********NCIS*********

Tim felt his heart sink when the parking lot at Tony's apartment complex did not include Tony's car. With a heavy heart, he drove to several of the older man's haunts that he knew about, including the one he'd last picked him up from. An hour into this, and he had to admit defeat. Pulling out his cell phone, he called the one man who would know where Tony was and why it was so dire that he be found.

 _ **********NCIS*********_

Just down from the unexpected briefing with Vance, Gibbs felt a sliver of worry course through him as his phone lit up with a call from Tim. He was quick to answer it with a quiet tone. "Tim? Somethin' wrong?"

 _"I can't find Tony! He had a really troubled look on his face when he left out in a hurry and I tried to follow him, but I lost him at the front gate an...!"_

"Breathe, Tim. I'll find him and I'll get him to Ducky's'. Need you to relax and just meet us there. None of this is on you."

 _"Yeah...ok"_

"Tim? You're gonna be fine. Not in this alone, even without the Doc. ok?"

 _"Ok."_ Tim's sigh was full of worry

"Okay. Be there as soon as I find him." Gibbs did what he could to calm without letting it escalate by telling him where the older man was supposed to be at this moment.

 _"Ok."_

"Relax.. All right?"

 _"I'll try."_

"Good." Gibbs ended the call and called Tony's number. He was not really surprised to hear the call picked up after only 2 rings.

 _"Boss?"_

You all right?"

 _"Uhm. Yeah?"_

"Where are you, DiNozzo?"

 _"Your place? Like you told me to be?"_

"Stay there. Be there in 15 to pick you up."

 _"Boss? What is this about? Where are we going? Why all the cryptic crap?" Tony demanded._

"I'll explain it when I get there, Tony." With a sigh of relief, Gibbs ended that call and immediately called Tim back. Getting the young man's voicemail, he left him the message that Tony was fine and they'd be at Ducky's within the hour.

Sitting down at his desk, he sighed heavily. Of all the nights to be stuck on paperwork with a killer deadline! Luckily, over the years, he'd honed the skill of getting that bane of his existence done rather quickly. Tonight certainly necessitated the skill for it.

 _ **********NCIS*********_

Tony wandered aimlessly around the man's basement for a few moments as his thoughts began to swirl darkly in his head. Getting a call from him while he'd been standing in the man's basement had been eerie to say the least. Finding out from the background noise, that the man was still at work hadn't really been a surprise. But being asked if he was all right had been worrying. In fact, being called by his given name cinched it in his gut. Whatever was going on here had to do with the trouble he'd gotten himself into but couldn't remember.

Stopping in his almost absent pacing to lean against the table in the middle of the room where the boats used to be, Tony braced himself against the work bench, his fingertips touching on a slightly different level of surface. Looking closer, Tony spied a hastily closed drawer in the table, Tony's hands almost automatically moved to close it when he saw the edge of something sticking out just enough to be seen - as if shoved hastily away - but not secured quite good enough. Curiosity being a prime motivator for the Ex-cop, Tony pulled it out and frowned at the discovery that it was an NCIS file folder. He set it on the table and cautiously opened it, as if he expected it to bite him. As he began to read, his vision sharpened and stalled as his mind stuck on the very first word he saw, he had no doubt that all the answers he'd been looking for are right here in his hands.

Closing the file quickly, he held it with an iron grip as he tucked it under one arm and took the stairs two at a time, his pace almost running as he hustled out to his car and threw himself into the driver's seat and slammed the door shut. Revving the engine, he threw his car in reverse and double-timed it out of the driveway. His foot all the way to the floor, he was gone from the neighborhood in a loud instant that had anger written all over it. It was all he could do to think straight enough to drive, the sight of his name on that case file flashed before his eyes on constant repeat.

Thankfully, his place to escape to wasn't far and he was soon safely ensconced in his own private little hideaway. Quickly fixing himself a cup of coffee and a sandwich, he tried to calm down. Whatever was in there, once he sat down to actually pour over it, there was not a chance in hell, he'd be stopping until he'd looked through it all, so the last thing he needed was to be hungry or tired before he got to the bottom of whatever was in here.

Taking a huge bite of his sandwich, he followed it up with a thirst quenching gulp of coffee and sat down where he'd be able to spread the file open in plenty of light with which to read it. Taking a cleansing breath, he opened his phone and actually set it to go straight to voicemail. He set it down and opened the front cover on the file and the top sheet so he could get to the basic facts under the case identifying info he'd already noticed earlier.

What he found inside that file had his dinner coming back up and shattered his world


	11. Chapter 11

Snapping his phone shut, Gibbs nearly growled in frustration. Tony was no longer answering his phone and he was definitely not here, in the basement, where he was supposed to be, waiting for Gibbs to pick him up and take him to Ducky's. _Ducky_! Sighing heavily, the Team Leader opened his phone back up and made the call he hated to make.

"Duck, he's gone.

 _"Oh, dear heavens!"_

"Talk to Tim. It's not his fault. I'll keep lookin' for Tony." With his focus so sharply on this situation with his boys, he could only think of them in first name thoughts - and that was rare for him. At this point, he didn't care who thought what of him about any of that, he just cared about his boys being safe and knowing he was there for them and that he was willing to do all he could for them.

 _"Do call me when you find him, Jethro."_

"Yeah." Gibbs snapped his phone shut, his eyes catching something 'off' about the room. _Shit...the drawer_! "Damn it!" Gibbs exclaimed angrily as he slammed the open and completely empty compartment that _had_ temporarily housed the file, shut with an anger driven shove. He stormed up his stairs, quickening his steps out to his truck. He had to find Tony. Now!

 _ *********NCIS********_

Flipping his phone closed, Ducky looked at the young man watching him like a hawk from across the room.

"Something's wrong." Tim knowingly stated, his voice full of the conviction mixed with fear that he was right.

"I'm afraid so, Timothy. It seems that Anthony has, well, disappeared."

"He's figured it out! He's not stupid, he put all the pieces together and figured it out! We have to find him, Ducky!" Tim practically ran to the door, struggling to put his coat on at the same time.

"NO!"

"What? How can you sa...?"

"Because, Timothy, Jethro has asked me to keep you here so that he doesn't have to look for the both of you before the night is over."

With a look of abject disbelief, Tim whipped out his phone. "Abby! Can you track Tony's phone...later...please! Off? Crap! Thanks anyway. If you get him or find him, **please** let me know! Thanks."

"A cup of coffee, Timothy?" Ducky offered as soon as the young man had snapped his phone shut and stowed it away in his pocket.

Distractedly, Tim accepted the cup with his typical show of manners. "Thank you, Ducky." A few heartbeats later, the young man was literally pacing the M.E.'s living room. "I can't believe this is happening! Just when I'm about to try to set things right, it blows up! Is that karma, Ducky?"

"I don't believe so, lad."

A few more silent moments filled with Tim's pacing and sipping his coffee, his thoughts obviously in an uproar, kept Ducky at a watchful distance, yet loath to break the silence. It was tenuous situation at best. Luckily, it wouldn't be long now until...

Suddenly, Tim went quiet and nearly plopped down on the couch, as if robbed of all energy. Looking over at the elder man, he glared at him in anger and disbelief. "You _spiked_ my coffee at a time like this?"

"Just enough to hopefully calm you, Timothy. I meant no harm. You know that."

"I only know that this is a great big mess. Tony's out there, upset and alone. And I'm...helpless... to... help...'im."

As the final word faded from the now sleeping agent, Ducky did what he could to make him more comfortable on the couch and slipped out of the room to call his friend for an update. It'd been well over thirty minutes without one so he was rather anxious himself to hear something.

"Jethro? Have you found him?"

 _"NO. How's Tim?"_

"Sleeping."

 _"That bad, huh?"_

"A mild sedative. I thought it best for him."

 _"Thanks, Duck. I'll letcha know when I find him."_

"And if you do not find him tonight, Jethro? Then what will you do?"

 _"Dunno, Duck. Dunno."_

 _ ********NCIS********_

 **A seasoned cop and federal investigator**. _That's_ what Tony was; _who_ he was! So, then why, he wondered as he sat looking at the cold, hard facts in front of him, had he not realized the extent; the sheer _awfulness_ of what he'd done to his little brother, friend and teammate long before now? It's a question he'd been asking himself all night. Dazed, confused and horrified, he'd been stuck here in this time warp, where nothing else mattered or even registered except the thoughts dragging him through the mud of it all.

 _Criminal, for God's sake! Criminal Sexual Battery!_

The legal facts were as cold, hard and known to him as the air he breathed and right now, they were the coldest, hardest slap in the face he'd ever had in his life. Each word and code number was crystal clear as it resounded in his mind:  
 _  
_ _Sexual battery is often characterized as sexual touching or penetration without consent of the person and achieved with the threat of or use of force. -_

 _A violation of sexual battery statute occurs whenever there is an intentional, nonconsensual intrusion into the sexual privacy of another._

 _Sexual Battery (794.011(1)(h)):_

 _This distinction can be the difference between being charged with a felony versus a misdemeanor offense. Sexual conduct is the first element of this type of charge. The charges must involve some sexual contact plus one other circumstance. Most states will list multiple situations, which constitute sexual battery._

Tony was so screwed! His life as he knew it was over! And what about Tim? Probie had been acting almost scared of him, not to mention short tempered with him since the day Tony came to work late; the very same day Tony woke up with no memory of the night before! The kid had also steadfastly refused to go anywhere with him alone since then. Hell, he pulled a dramatic disappearing act the first time he'd been told to go with him!

It all made sense now! His so-called friends _did_ this to him! They _did_ this to _Tim_! _That_ was why they hadn't returned his calls! What the hell was he supposed to do with all of that? Well, at least now, he knew what that _'meeting at Ducky's'_ was supposed to have been about!

 _He can't! He can't face any of them!_ He can't even look in the mirror now, the hatred he feels towards himself for what he's done is that overpowering _. Hell, he can't even move from this table, thanks to his legs turning to Jell-O!_

Round and around in circles, his mind kept going: _**I**_ _sexually assaulted McGee!_ ** _They_** _made me do it,_ ** _I_** _hurt him bad,_ ** _they_** _made me do it..._

Finally, the anger settled in, having been filtering in slowly over the past few hours. As it gained ground and began to make its' way to the forefront of his mind, his body regained its' solidity enough to finally move. Lurching up from the table, anger his only fuel now, he snatched the keys off the table and headed out, wrenching the door so hard behind himself as he stepped through it, that the slam of it reverberates through the air as far as the elevator at the end of the hall.

With a satisfied series of anger-driven movements, Tony got in, started the car, revved the engine and peeled out, leaving plenty of rubber behind as he let his emotions take over the trip he just embarked on.

 _ ********NCIS********_

 _0615 Tuesday_

Up all night from having fruitlessly searched for his missing agent, Gibbs hurried over to the M.E's house in time for coffee and a brief exchange of words with his agent. Though it was a shock to witness a surly, undeniably worried and short-tempered version of Tim for the first time ever, especially all in the same brief exchange of words about how Tim was doing and the failure of finding Tony, the boss let it go. He only had himself to blame. In fact, he couldn't even bring himself to tell either Ducky or Tim that Tony had vanished because he'd found the file. For all the other two knew, the Senior Field Agent had simply figured things out for himself and flipped out about it.

Staying for breakfast to make sure Tim ate and to show him that he at least cared about him enough to do so, Gibbs drove the young man in to work, a silent order his agent reluctantly followed without so much as a rolled eye or change in expression. The ride in hadn't been pleasant but then again, the boss hadn't expected that it would be. Still he had to say something to explain where things stood with Tony.

"I looked everywhere for him, Tim. Only stopped lookin' an hour ago." The Boss offered as he parked the car in the employee lot on the yard.

Tim sighed as he unbuckled his seat belt. "That's what I was afraid of."

"What?"

"That he's gone off grid - and that he'll stay there until it's too late." Tim finally looked over at him, for the first time that morning, with only worry and a hint of fear, obviously for Tony.

"We will find him, Tim. We just need to figure out where he'd go."

Tim sighed tiredly and with a complete lack of hope as he opened the car door to get out. "Yeah."

 _ ********NCIS********_

The normal grind of another workday brought Ducky to the Navy Yard as well, albeit in a less than happy mood at 0630. He'd had been hard pressed not to snap off at Tim's sullen mood at breakfast this morning. But, since the younger man had been equally anxious about Tony as he'd been pissed about having slept through the night without being able to go look for his friend and teammate, the older man had left him stew and simmer in peace. Seeing that his long-time friend and the younger man's Team Leader had met the situation with concern and regret in his expression but no reprimand himself, had sealed that decision for the M.E.

But it had certainly soured his mood. Of course experiencing the reality that Tony was still missing had a lot to do with it, even if he had been reluctant to admit it to himself for fear it would fill his heart with grief before due time. Immersing himself in his tedious duties, he soon found other things to occupy his thoughts as the morning wore on, moment by moment, oh, so slowly.

*******NCIS*******

After the tensely silent walk into the building and the equally silent ride up to their floor, Gibbs parted company with his obviously very upset agent and made his way up the stairs to the head hauncho's office, hoping against hope he'd actually find his missing Senior Field Agent hiding out up here. He knew it was wishful thinking wrapped in grasping at straws, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking it just the same. Thankful the man's inner office door was already open, Gibbs stepped through it, closing it behind him.

"Got a problem, Leon."

*******NCIS*******

 _Thank goodness for 24-hour stores that sell beer and booze!_ Setting the bottles of Jack Daniel's Whisky and Coke-Cola in his passenger seat, Tony sighed tiredly. Twisting the car's key in the ignition he felt a wave of satisfaction when the machine obediently roared to life. Hungry for the sound of its' power, he revved it before jamming the transmission into drive and racing out of the parking lot, onto a thankfully empty street.

He thoughts were in chaos as he drove back to his hideaway, but now, they were becoming coated in the intense desire to drink himself into oblivion, to wake up and it all have been a nightmare that hadn't happened. Reaching his destination, he grabbed his purchases and headed up to his space. Once back inside, he snatched two tall glasses, poured half a glass full from each bottle into each glass, set the bottles aside and began tossing back the mixed drinks until his mind finally went numb.

 *********NCIS*********

Knowing Gibbs was upstairs updating Vance as to Tony's disappearance, Tim ducked out of the squad room and headed down to talk to Abby. Enroute, he hit the stop button on the back elevator and pulled out his cell phone. It was a call he hadn't wanted to make, especially given what the man was going through in his own life right now, but this was too important. He had wanted updates and about this, he defiantly had to be told.

 _"Tim?"_

"Dr. Finnerty. I'm sorry to bother you at a time like this, but I thought you should know that Tony never made it to Ducky's last night. So, we never got to tell him anything. But, I think he already knows everything."

 _"I'm glad you've called me about this, Tim. What makes you think he already knows everything?"_

"He's gone off grid - that is- his phone's off, he's not using his atm card or making any bank transactions or calling anyone, he hasn't bought any kind of travel tickets to anywhere, and his car hasn't been located. He doesn't want to be found and there's only one reason for that."

 _"I see. Tim. I know you're probably feeling panicked right about now, well since last night, but I want you to work at staying calm. None of this is your fault, no matter how much you think you should have told him already. Keep telling yourself that while you look for him. And try to relax. I know you'll find him."_

"Yeah. I just hope it's not too late when we do." Tim lamented without a filter, relieved to be able to say exactly what was on his mind.

 _"Work hard at staying away from that part of your logical thinking while you look for him and you'll do fine. Tim. Keep me updated, won't you?"_

"Yes. And thank you, Doctor."

 _"You're welcome, Tim. "_

Snapping his phone shut, Tim breathed out a sigh and flipped the elevator back on, moving forward with his plan to check in with Abby. He hoped like hell that she'd found him since he'd last talked to her. But, then again, if she had, she'd have told them already so that kind of wishful thinking was pointless.

"Any luck on tracking Tony's phone?" he asked Abby as he walked in to her lab.

"Oh, Timmy! I'm so sorry, but no. He doesn't wanna be found." Abby ran to him and hugged him. Pulling her torso back just enough to look him in the eye, she attempted to comfort him. "We'll find him, regardless! Gibbs always finds us!"

"I just hope we're not too late when we do, Abbs." Tim worried as he absorbed her strength for a minute, basking in it through her embrace. Stepping back, he reached back and gave himself a head-slap.

Abby giggled. "What was that for?"

"Dr. Finnerty told me to stay away from that thought."

"Ah, good. I'm glad you're checking in with him, Tim." She offered him seriously.

"Only because he wanted us to talk to Tony and the guy's gone off grid. I thought he should know. I mean this could end in any sort of..."

"Do you need another head slap?" Abby warned. "Stop thinking that!"

"I know." Tim muttered half-heartedly. His thoughts flashed to what she'd just said, what he'd just told Dr. Finnerty, too: _doesn't wanna be found -_ and his memory hit onsomething Tony had told him that summer Ziva had been in Israel when he'd taken Tim to an apartment he'd never known Tony had as a rental.

 _Perfect place to come to when I don't wanna be found...Nice place, isn't it? Top of the building apartment, 360 degree view - vertical drop on the balcony with a wide enough ledge, I could practice being a tight-rope walker if I wanted to...don't look at me like that, Probie, there's plenty of room between it and the glass doors to the living room that I never have to go near it. Besides the view is spectacular from anywhere out here. Perfect place to come to when I don't wanna be found._

 _What was it Gibbs said they needed to do? "...figure out where he'd go."_

Tim froze as comprehension washed over him. "I know where he is."

Before she could speak, he was gone from her lab in a rush, bursting through the stairwell and pounding the stairs, desperate to get to his friend.

"Tim! Timmy McGee, you get back here and talk to me!" Abby yelled out. "Damn it!" She exclaimed as she snapped up her phone and called him. And called him. And called him. Six times in ten minutes, she attempted to call him, all attempts ringing endlessly until they switched to voicemail. On the seventh attempt, he _finally_ picked up.

 _"Can't talk now Abbs, gotta go!"_

"I _hate_ it when he does that!" She exclaimed heatedly as she suffered the **Click** of being cut off, banging her hands down on either side of her keyboard in utter frustration, her babies contentedly humming ignorantly just behind her.

"When _who_ does _what_ , Abbs?" Gibbs asked from her doorway.

 *********NCIS*********

Lost in the chaos of thoughts that sound almost like one of Abby's concerts now, Tony grabbed the next thing he could to take a long swig from - inadvertently downing 1/3 of the bottle of cola without even trying to. Frowning, he slammed the bottle down on the counter. _Ugh!_ _THAT_ wasn't Jack!

As he turned to look for the other bottle, the glint of metal catching the sunlight over on the table by the window, distracted him and in less than a heartbeat he was headed that way. Already overloaded with emotions and thoughts running on disturbing repeat, his brain was no longer firing on all cylinders and he faltered near the table, having only gone three steps.

Putting his hand down for balance, it connected with the file, his fingers instantly closing around it, his hand snatching it up as he resumed his trek toward the bottle of choice or was it something else he'd been going after? Damn it, he couldn't remember! Leaning heavily into the door frame that lead to his outdoor oasis, Tony flipped through the file almost angrily now, his focus once again on the details in front of him, one outstanding thought barreling through the chaos, intent on being heard.

 _I, Tony DiNozzo, Senior Field Agent. Sexually. Molested. MY. Probie._

The truth slammed home once more with the full realization that Tim had been seriously physically hurt in the altercation and not just with his nose! It hadn't escaped Tony's notice how much pain the younger man had been in elsewhere. _No one moves like that or takes that much time or caution to get up and down out of a chair like that unless... T_ he renewed thought proved to be more than Tony could handle as sickened, he desperately searched for the closest trashcan, hurling the contents of his stomach until he was dry heaving. Only one question now circled his mind like a vulture hovering over a carcass.

" _WHY didn't Probie tell me?_ _  
_ _Why DIDN'T Probie tell me?_ _  
_ _Why didn't PROBIE tell me?_ _  
_ _Why didn't Probie TELL me?_ _  
_ _Why didn't Probie tell ME?_

*******NCIS*******

The next time his phone rang as he drove hell bent for leather towards the one place Tim, the caller i.d. gave him a reason to pause - but just for a moment, although he did answer the call. "Boss. You can fire me if you want, but I'm not coming back in without Tony."

 _"Relax, Tim. Just want ya to know, I'm behind ya."_

"Than..."

 _"JUST...take it slow."_

"Will do."

 _"I know. You can do this, Tim."_

Without answering the man, Tim ended the call, closing his phone with a snap. Where was all this support when he needed it before? Never-mind, Tony was where his focus needed to be now. Sighing, he kept going, keeping his speed just under the limit of an off duty law enforcement officer would be allowed to skate on in an emergency, to the best of his knowledge, anyway. Getting to Tony as soon as possible was an emergency,

**************NCIS************

Abby shook her head in disbelief.

"What?" Gibbs asked from the driver's seat as tossed his phone up on the dash while he kept his foot on the gas, now eating up some of the ten-minute lead Tim had on them.

"I don't know what shocks me more, Gibbs - the way you just went out of your way to keep Timmy calm, the fact that you remembered his first name or the fact that you didn't yell at him for taking off without checking with you first the way he did."

"His only concern for days now has been Tony and how he's gonna react to finding out. No reason to fault Tim for anything he's done."

"Does Tim know you feel that way?" She asked seriously.

"Yup."

"Co...OOL!" Abby's praise became a shriek as Gibbs took a rather sharp curve without slowing down. "Ok. Maybe not so cool."

*******NCIS*******

"Thank you, Dr. Finnerty. And I apologize again for disrupting you in this difficult time." Ducky ended his call and closed his cell phone. He'd been surprised when he'd called the man just now, to hear that Timothy had already called to inform him of the developments surrounding Anthony. Then again, it shouldn't have surprised him at all, given Timothy's penchant for worrying himself sick over the Senior Field Agent, especially here lately. And it wasn't as if calling his Psychologist was a bad thing for the younger man to have done. In fact, it had been a very good idea and as he headed to his desk to do only what he absolutely had to so that he could leave for the day, having already sent Jimmy home, he found himself grateful that Timothy had done so.

 _ *********NCIS*********_

Tony wiped furiously at his eyes, feeling the stinging wetness trying to escape as a sob wracked his frame. NO! Desperately trying to stay on this side of his emotions, he surged from the chair he'd tiredly plopped himself down in a few moments ago, folder still clutched in his hands. He glanced at the words he already knew were there yet again, as if trying to punish himself some more.

 _...not in control of his mental faculties enough to know what he was doing..._

He couldn't for the life of him, figure out why Tim had so far said NOTHING! THAT hurt! It hurt bad! Not ONE of his teammates came clean to him about this! ABBY! Dear God, Abby knew probably more than Tim did! All that B.S. about spending time with him and bonding with him over Bond movies! What a crock!

That had conspiracy written all over it, probably keeping him on a leash while Gibbs and Ziva went after his frat brothers! _Damn it! Why did they do this to me? Probie damned well should have told me!_

Another glance at the report in the file and the anger was gone in a whoosh, replaced by an overpowering wave of guilt as the words on the next page jumped out at him with vivid clarity.

 _sexually aggressive...unable to control...dangerous...compounded strength...loss of judgement...inability to think clearly...sexually driven...unsafe..._

Dropping the file like the hot potato it suddenly felt like as a cloud of misery and guilt consumed him, swallowing him whole, Tony looked around for something to use to assuage his guilt and the culpability. It fit him like a life jacket for having done such a horrific thing to someone who'd always trusted him to have his back. One solid solution took root in that moment and in the fertile guilt and blame it quickly began to grow into a very strong plan with no second thought, no doubt about its' validity.

Although he couldn't for the life of him remember what he was looking for, it wasn't long before he'd found it. There! Once again spying his service weapon still where he'd left it, he picked it up, distantly thinking he'd forgotten he'd brought it with him. Cradling it in his hand as he stared out at the world his feet began to move, suddenly desperate for more air and a much cleaner view.

****************NCIS*****************

It had been nearly twenty minutes since he'd left NCIS to get to Tony - to stop him from doing something stupid, which seemed likely with him going off grid the way he had. Tim's breathing hadn't calmed at all and he didn't feel anything close to ready to take this on, but he had no choice and as he pulled into the parking lot and threw the car into park, not even bothering to lock it as he bolted towards the building, he thought of nothing except making sure Tony was all right.

He didn't register Gibbs and Abby arriving on his tail, didn't hear the slam of their car doors, or even Gibbs' voice as he turned to Abby and forcefully told her to stay in the car. Tim's only focus was on getting to that top floor as fast as he could, even if it meant getting in the glass elevator that would take him all the way to the top; the one he hated with a passion.

 ********NCIS**********

"Gibbs!" Abby protested as the Team Leader turned and warned her back although they'd gotten out of the car in tandem, no sooner than it had come to a stop.

"NO! Abby, neither of them need a witness to this! Wait in the car!"

"What are you gonna...?"

"I'm not _goin_ ' in. Gonna stay outside -"Just gonna make sure they get through it okay since Ducky's not here and Tim's doctor isn't either" He explained with frustration. She was taking valuable time away from him getting up there.

"Okay. Guess Timmy _would_ be unsettled if you showed up, since you didn't tell him you meant you were literally behind him." Abby surmised with a calm that was reassuring. "I can't believe he didn't even notice us!"

"That should tell you everything, Abby. Now, **stay** in that car!"

"Aye, Aye, Captain." She mock saluted him and got back in the car, her senses clued in for anything that would tell her she was needed as she watched Gibbs head inside the posh apartment building that looked more expensive than any of them could ever afford. _What the hell is Tony doing here? How did Tim know to find him here?_

Glancing up at the building's 35 stories, and actually taking a minute to count them, she drew her breath in sharply, Gibbs words coming back to her now. _Ducky's not here and Tim's doctor isn't either_

She whipped out her cell phone and quickly called for reinforcements. "Ducky! We need you here, NOW!"

 ********NCIS**********

All the way up to the top floor, Tim's stomach did summersaults even though he steadfastly refused to open his eyes or look down. Realizing he needed to update Dr. Finnerty, he quickly did that, making sure to turn himself towards the inner doors as he opened his eyes just long enough to start the call. Getting the man's voicemail, he left an update and ended the call, depositing his phone back in his pocket and quickly closing his eyes against the feeling of nausea trying to overtake him. This place made that parking lot he'd saved Tony from look like a walk in the park!

Feeling the elevator stop and the doors open, he finally allowed himself to open his eyes as he quickly stepped out of the box with a huge sigh of relief. Thankful to be on solid ground again, he still felt the need to reach for the railing that ran along the hallway walls for the less able-bodied tenants of this home to over 200 people. Less than a heartbeat later, Tim felt the wave of worry and adrenaline hit at the same time, as if he'd wasted too much time already and he bolted for Tony's suite at the end of the hallway, praying with every step, "Please let him be okay, Please let him be okay."

He knocked on the door but got no results as he called out loudly for his friend. "TONY! Open up! I know you're here! I need to make sure you're all right!"

Silence greeted him and that unsettled him worse than any verbal response could have. He tried the doorknob and found it locked. Not taking the time to pull out his lock picking kit, he kicked the door in and ran inside. Not stopping until he rounded the corner of the living room and found his friend.

"TONY, NO!"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** _Short Chapter by Design_

* * *

Having to stop at the front desk and flash his badge to get the information of where Tony's apartment in this huge building was, took time Gibbs hated to lose, but once he had what he needed, he was gone, or at least he thought he would be. After all 35 flights of stairs were just too damn many. Taking a calming breath as he stood looking at the stairwell, he admitted defeat and turned back. Taking the next available elevator, he was grateful he had it to himself as it took him all the way up.

Being able to see the world around you as you climb floor after floor didn't really appeal to him but he kept his eyes glued to the boxcar next to him, already several floors ahead of him, although not many, thanks to the stops it'd had to make to let people on and off. He could plainly see Tim there - his posture hunched enough that it was obvious he was trying not to look anywhere he felt for him, knowing the guy was seriously scared of heights. _And yet he's doing it- without even giving a second thought, probably. Damn, can't this thing go any faster?_

 ***********NCIS**********

Balancing on the ledge, a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's Whisky in the hand that hovered over the patio as the Senior Field walked that tightrope walker line, his face the epitome of anger, mixed with guilt. He'd made the distance and turned around to walk it back twice when the distant sound of his door being kicked in filtered down to his senses in some small way enough that he paused, but only for a second. He was caught up in the running debate going on in his head. _Should he do this?_ He lifted up the hand with the bottle of jack in it and looked at it for a moment. _Or that_? Running his index finger along the barrel of his weapon, he thought of its' efficiency. Oh, he had two options, all right. But one, this one was certainly much quicker and less painful, oh, and a lot less public, too. He had to pick one, but which one?

 **"TONY, NO!"** Tim scrambled to reach the older man, grasped him around the waistband of his pants and literally yanked him down from the ledge. The sound of shattering glass against the floor a distant circumstance that barely registered alongside the glint of metal menacingly taunting Tim's outer edge of concentration as they tumbled to the floor of the terrace. _Crap! Tony's gun!_

Forcing that worry aside for now and panting heavily, Tim slumped to the ground, his arms now wrapped around Tony's waist. The near tragedy still imprinted on his mind so sharply, he couldn't force himself to let go of him. Closing his eyes in emotional stress, Tim refused to pepper the obviously distraught man with questions even as he mentally cried out. _Why, Tony? What about this mess could possibly make_ ** _this_** _your only answer?_

 _***************NCIS***************_

Dazed and confused, Tony's mind engaged in slow motion, his eyes taking in his surroundings and the realization that he was being held securely in arms that were literally shaking. Come to think of it, even the strong physical body that he was laying on top of now was shaking. _What the hell was goin' on?_ Wait... hadn't he just been on the verge of... _oh my God, who had pulled him back?_ _Who had cared enough to come after him, find him and save him?_

Opening his eyes, he blinked. _McGee? MCGEE!_

 _ ********NCIS**********_

From the shadows just inside the doors, a stunned Team Leader found himself frozen in shock, his heart in pieces at his suddenly immobile feet. The very thing Tim - and those who'd been inadvertently drawn into this behind the scenes, had feared the most - has happened with such cruelty and unmistakable trauma that it can now never be erased; that he's almost robbed of his next breath, along with any idea of where to go from here - or what to do for his boys at this very moment.

Never, in his wildest imaginations, theories or even moments of conjecture, would he have ever thought this would happen. He braced himself back into the shadows, not wanting to force his presence on the guys who at this very moment needed absolutely no witnesses. Breathing out raggedly, he fought to get himself back under control - his emotions running amuck against the overwhelming tide of those washing through him right now after what he'd just witnessed.

Still, he could not just leave them here like this - to flounder through this alone. If they needed help - they'd have it, for as long as it took for them to regain their footing here tonight. He closed his eyes and prayed that somehow, somewhere, the next step would come to Tim. The young man had gone above and beyond here tonight - rescuing his incidental assailant who'd sent him on a nightmarish journey, he was still trying to come back from.

****NCIS*****

Before he realized what he was doing, Tony physically worked to remove himself from Tim's hold, self-revulsion fueling his movements. _How could his little brother stand to let him touch him now? How could he even want to save him after what he'd done to him?_ Question he had to know the answers to because the reality that he was just been literally dragged from ending his life, by the _one_ person who deserved to see him end it, well, it was just too much..."Why did you save me? After what I did?"

Tim felt shocked. _Why had Tony thought this to be the only answer? Was this strictly in response to figuring things out for himself or had something else brought him to this point on top of that?_ He had to ask; had to know before he jumped to any conclusions that would be detrimental to his teammate's coming back from this dark place he was obviously in. _What exactly was it that had brought Tony to this point?_ "What are you talking about, Tony?" His tone was soft, compassionate, an attempt to draw the answer out of the older man.

 **"Don't pretend... like you don't know, McGee!"** Tony barked angrily, on a half-choked sob. Surging to his feet, the older man realized his gun is still within reach. Lunging for it, he grabbed it tight, raising it to the exactly height he needed it to be, looking over at his teammate. "I damn near _raped_ you! How can you stand to even _look_ at me? I'm the scum we bust our asses to put away, McGee! Why did you save me?" Tony's voice broke even further as his body began to tremble, his hand shaking too much to pull the trigger.

"Tony, NO! LISTEN to me!" Tim yelled at him desperately, as tears of frustration, fear and even his own emotional pain from this began trailing down his face. "Don't DO this!" PLEASE!"

"Why do you care so much, McGee? I **violated** you!" Tony exploded in his own fear, confusion and anger

"You were _drugged,_ Tony! DRUGGED! I knew you would never hurt me if you were in your right frame of mind!"

"That why you were so petrified to be near me at first, that you damn near asphyxiated any time you were around me? Huh? Because you **knew**? Don't **bullshit** me!"

"You're right. Okay? But, I _didn't_ know you'd been drugged at first, Tony. And I _wasn't_ in the right frame of mind to think clearly enough to realize it. I had trouble getting there, Tony, I admit that. I'm sorry." Tim sincerely offered, his tone genuinely contrite

 **************NCIS***********

Never before had Gibbs ever felt so damn proud of Tim than he was right now. Then again, never before had he ever felt such empathy for him either. His knees weakened by the full experience of it all, Gibbs was frozen still, as the angry voices and agitated movements from across the room garnered his attention once more.

 _ ********NCIS**********_

"DON'T you DARE apologize to me for what I did to you, McGee!" Tony yelled angrily, his raised hand holding the gun beginning to shake. "Don't EVER do that again! _I_ did this! **ME!"**

"That's just it, Tony! It **wasn't** you!" Tim implored him as he stepped closer to him, his hands reached out, not for the gun, but for Tony's other arm, wanting to offer him physical grounding. "Don't DO this! You think what happened is worth losing you? It's NOT! You wanna blame someone - blame those damn 'so called _'friends'_ of yours! Are THEY worth you throwing your life away? Everything you've earned; fought to earn? C'mon, TONY - don't DO this!"

"They did this to me - to us?" Tony asked in shock as if just realizing what he'd read proof of hours ago Tiredly, his arm holding the gun fell, the weapon now dangling in his grip..

"You already know they did or you wouldn't be here right now. " Tim reminded him more calmly as he smoothly reached over and took the gun from him. Without taking his eyes off his friend, he stepped back out of reach and removed the clip from the gun, stowing the gun in his waistband and sliding the clip across the floor further away from both of them. "How _did_ you find out?"

"Sure as hell wasn't from the people I trust - trusted most!" Tony spat out angrily as he jerked away from Tim - practically throwing himself across the patio, this time at least nowhere near the ledge.

 _"If and when he wants to talk, he'll talk. Until then we leave him alone."_ Gibbs said. Did you? Hell, no! I said you could fill in those blanks for me! Was I right? Hell, yeah, I was right! But suddenly respecting **you** was more important to Gibbs! Ducky too! Be patient, Ducky said. In time, he said. Appreciate what he has done, Gibbs said. Blah, Blah, Blah! All that and NOT. ONE. WORD. FROM. YOU!"

"Why the hell would I hurt you like that, Tony? What possible good could have come from telling you what you had done while you weren't in control of what was going on around you?" Tim demanded angrily.

"Oh, I don't know - maybe it would have at least explained **your** coldness! Filled in a few puzzle pieces that were obviously missing?"

Tim slid down the wall to the floor in defeat. There was no way to come out this without one of them feeling betrayed or damaged by the other. He'd hoped it could be accomplished but now he was realizing he'd been hoping for the impossible. His sense of defeat coming through loud and clear in his tone, he tiredly said what was on his mind. "I handled it the best way I could, Tony. I'm not gonna apologize for that."

"Well, at least one thing makes sense now - why you got so pissed when I thanked you the way I did - I mean giving what I **did** to you the _last_ thing you needed to hear from me was _Thanks... For what you did for me that night."_ Looking at his teammate for a long silent minute, Tony sighed. His own emotions and thought process had been all over the map on this just since he'd found out last night. He couldn't imagine what Tim had been experiencing with his. Sighing again, he stepped over next to his friend and slid down the wall a short distance from him.

Both of them continued breathing heavily as they struggled to find their inner calm once more, sitting within quiet speaking tones of each other on the floor. Together in silence, both of them struggled to come to grips with what they knew - what they'd experienced - and why uncertainty seemed to be the only friend they had - besides each other.


	13. Chapter 13

Few things in life put the fear into Ducky's heart more than the sound of Abigail Scuito in acute distress while in the midst of fearing for her friends' lives for the third consecutive day and with good reason. Once he'd done what he could to calmly reassure her that he was on his way, he put Jimmy on notice that he was in charge and did something he'd never considered doing before and promised himself he'd never do again. He went to the squad room carrying the paper with the address Abby had given him written on it, - and asked Ziva to drive.

*****NCIS*****

From the shadows - Gibbs slipped out to the hallway, reaching into his pocket for his phone as he moved. He flipped it open and called Abby, still waiting out there in the car. "Go Home, Abbs. Take the agency car back to the yard first."

 _"Gibbs! I called Ducky. He's on his way, but I need to know, Are they okay?"_

"They will be"

 _"Gibbs! Are you bein' straight with me? They're both really okay?"_

Abby. Have I ever lied to you?"

 _"No. Okay. But I'm not leaving!_

"Abby!"

 _"NO, Gibbs! I need to see for myself that they're all right!"_

"Do NOT crowd them when we get down there!"

 _"Scouts honor, I'll stay back! I just REALLY need to see them."_

*****NCIS******

Well aware that her only role in this ongoing drama was to get Ducky to the address as quickly as possible, Ziva refrained from asking questions other than to inquire as to the well-being of her teammates. A quick reassurance from the M.E. calmed her enough that she could concentrate on her driving, which she did at a level that nearly turned him green, all the while saving him twenty minutes. As he nearly poured himself out of his seat onto the pavement, barely managing to hold onto his medical bag, she profusely apologized for making him ill.

"Never mind, my dear. I _did_ ask for it, didn't I?" He asked dryly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Ducky. I hope you and Gibbs can help them both."

"We shall do our best." He turned to head inside the door she'd stopped in front of, not waiting to see her go.

Ziva sighed deeply. She reached up and grasped her pendant, whispering a prayer as she held it for a moment. Calming her breathing, she let it go and returned her attention to her driving, the need to get back to the Squad Room, foremost on her mind now. Someone from the team must be the face of that team while the others could not be.

****NCIS*****

Hurrying inside, Ducky sighed. Time was wasting and he'd just done all he could to make sure that didn't happen. Anthony and Timothy were depending on him, even if they didn't know it yet. He headed straight to the desk in the lobby and secured both the correct floor and apartment number, as well as a bellhop that could hold the elevator for them on Tony's floor, preventing them from having to wait on one when they needed to return to the lobby. As the elevator, too him up, he dug out his cell phone and placed a call to Dr. Finnerty, updating his voicemail on the situation.

 *******NCIS********

 _. "I handled it the best way I could, Tony. I'm not gonna apologize for that."_

"You're wrong." Tony finally spoke into the silence that had moved in over them. Still sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, he looked over at his teammate and friend, completely missing the Team Leader's silent return to the room.

"I _know_ you think I should have told you, but, I..." Tim tried to explain.

"Well, _yeah_ , there _is_ that. Not what I meant, man." Tony shook his head once before looking back at Tim.

"What then?"

"Since when does handling things the best way you can, mean doing it by yourself?"

"Since you and Gibbs taught me that's the way you handle everything that's not inside the case, you mean?" Tim replied without hesitation. "Ziva, too. We've _all_ seen that."

"Yeah. Okay. Maybe we did. But what made you decide to go the way you did with what happened?"

His peripheral vision locking on the boss now standing at the edge of the room, Tim answered with a bit of defiance twisted around a slice of anger in his tone "Oh, I don't know. Rule 1 maybe? Definitely Rule 4" He turned to look at his friend, his expression deadpanned

Tony sighed. "Yeah. There is that, isn't there?"

"Yup."

"So then, Gibbs finding out?"

"Rule 18. He wouldn't stop hounding Abby. Once he saw the evidence, ..."

"The rest is history?"

Tim sighed. "Yeah."

"He's here, isn't he?"

"Right here." Gibbs answered for himself as he finally walked into their line of sight, but just barely. "Not leavin' you to deal with this alone, either of you."

"Great. Guess I can kiss my job goodbye for sure now!" Tony griped, his eyes going up to the ceiling and staying there in frustration..

"You know better'n that." Gibbs replied quietly, as he slid his his head-slapping hand into his pants pocket.

"So, what happens now?" Tony asked, his tone making it obvious he was addressing the Team Leader, his eyes not looking up from the floor at his feet.

"Ducky's on his way up. Want him to look you over, make sure you're all right. Both of you."

" _I'm_ fine. What happens after he checks Tony over?" Tim asked almost defiantly as he clamored to his feet and silently offered a hand out to help Tony up.

Watching as his Senior Field Agent silently accepted the hand up and found his feet again, not quiet letting go of Tim's hand for the first moment, Gibbs shrugged his shoulders. "That's his call."

"Yeah. I can agree with that." Tony's subdued tone that had a spark of relief in it, spoke volumes of his mental state. He was still mired in the guilt and uncertainty of it all and was grateful someone else would be guiding his steps from here, at least for now. Letting go of Tim's hand, finally, he stepped away, looking forlornly out at the world beyond his terrace.

******NCIS********

Forty-five tension-filled minutes later found Gibbs driving all of them to Ducky's home with the less than happy M.E. who'd wanted him checked out at Bethesda riding shotgun and the younger two in the back. A somberly quiet Abby drove right behind them, unwilling to relinquish her right to stay by her friends' sides. They'd been so focused on Tony that little attention had been spared for their Lab Rat. In talking with Gibbs, she had claimed that right, the fear of her not knowing for sure that they'd be all right, clear enough in her expression, that he'd backed down but cautioned her that it would be Tony and Tim's call how far she could go with it.

The Team Leader while grateful for the silence from the rest of the occupants of the car, found himself looking back over those moments with a heavy heart, especially when his eyes caught the downtrodden expression on both his boy's faces in the rear-view mirror.

 _***Flashback***_

 _"Anthony! Are you all right, lad?" Ducky quickly approached, his heart on his sleeve and in his tone._

 _"Yeah. I'm fine. It's nothing that was worth you having to come all the way up here for, Ducky." Tony demurely answered, obviously feeling less sure of himself than what he was attempting to project._

 _"Nonsense! I am relieved to be able to see you for myself and to be able to see that you are in one piece."_

 _"Well, you can thank Probie, here for that." Tony admitted while keeping his eyes on the younger man who'd saved him from his own drunken foolishness._

 _"Ducky, what's next?" Tim asked, his eyes locked onto his friend, watching him with an open concern that touched Gibbs, opened his eyes to the depths of emotion that had been the guiding force behind Tim's every move since this had befallen the younger man._

 _"That depends entirely on what happened here tonight, Timothy and where Anthony's head happens to be at, at the moment." The M.E. cast his eyes around the room, obviously taking in the broken glass, the gun over on one side of the room and the clip across the terrace._

 _"Why?" Tony demanded. "Nothing's changed! You wanted us to talk at your place. So let's_ ** _go_** _to your place and talk! I DON'T need to go to any hospital!" Tony began pacing, anger reverberating off him in waves._

 _The expression on Tim's face as the younger man watched the Senior Field Agent, said it all; the worry and fear, the uncertainty and anxiety that this was far from over, clear in his eyes._

 _The M.E. exchanged concerned looks with the Team Leader before looking back at the Senior Field Agent. "I will be the judge of that, young man. Despite the fact that It is glaringly obvious you do not wish to discuss what happened here tonight. I can see for myself from the evidence in the room and by looking at you that what transpired here is not to be taken lightly."_

 _"And you think I need to go to the hospital psych ward or something?" Tony asked. Glaring at Gibbs now, Tony let his feelings be known. "_ ** _Told_** _you it would come down to my job!"_

 _"Nonsense, Anthony! No one is taking your job away from you. The simple fact of the matter is, you and I need to talk before we decide what happens next."_

 _"Fine. Can we at least do it at your place?"_

 _"All right. Why don't you humor me and prepare an overnight bag so that you are prepared to stay tonight. I strongly advise against you going home alone until we have sorted through this."_

 _Tony breathed out a resigned sigh. "Yeah." He disappeared from view, Tim on his heels, obviously unwilling to let him out of his sight._

 _In the silence left behind, Gibbs took the time he had available to scoop up every page from the file scattered across the floor_ , _pages going every which way_ _and put it back together, slipping it into Ducky's hands so that the M.E. would stow it away in his medical bag. He knew the raised eyebrows and look of abject disappointment on the older man's face was well deserved , even as it pierced his heart. He had done this. Now he had to make things right. - if he could._

 _A long silent elevator ride down to the lobby only served to tighten the tension among them, a tension broken only when Tim stepped over to the desk and handed the man behind the barrier his business card and a credit card and from Gibbs could lip read, claimed responsibility for Tony's need for a new door on his suite. Wasting no time, he rejoined them at the door and together, they trouped out to the parking lot where Abby sat on the hood of the Agency sedan she and Gibbs had arrived in, looking noticibly worried. Spying them, she slid down the hood until her feet touched the ground, standing up, yet careful not to approach any of them on her own. "Hey guys! I'm so..."_

 _ ****Honk!***_ Gibbs came back to the here and now with a jolt as the car behind him honked at him, unwilling to sit through another traffic light. Glancing once more at the other three occupants of the car, he was relieved to see they were all still silently thinking, paying him no attention. Straightening his spine, he pulled himself together and drove them to Ducky's with a sigh. It was going to be a long night.

 _******NCIS*******_

Walking with Tony, silently at his elbow, into the M.E's house and on up the stairs to his guest bedroom, Tim's concentration and concern remained centered on the Senior Field Agent. Wordlessly, he helped Tony strip down to his boxers and climb into the bed, seeing the almost vacant expression that had taken up residence in his friend's expression. It scared him and he wasn't going anywhere until he had some kind of confirmation that Tony was all right.

Tony barely flinched as Ducky administered a light sedative, just enough of one to keep him calm while his body and mind found rest. The elderly man compassionately clasped Tim on the arm. "He will be just fine, Timothy. We will see to that."

The peal of the doorbell interrupted their discussion . "That would be Abigail. Why don't you go down and let her in if you wish, Timothy? After all, Jethro has informed her that it is your decision to make.

"Not sure why _he_ 's here." Tim muttered as he turned to leave. He'd taken all of three steps out into the hallway when his path was blocked by an angry M.E.

"Timothy, if you're proposing for an instant that Jethro does not care about what happens to you, then you are truly wearing blinders!"

"I shouldn't have said that, Ducky. I know Gibbs loves Tony like a son. Everyone can see it." Tim replied sadly.

Having long ago begun to see for himself and understand that Tim felt coldness from his Team Leader with a regularity that had set up a painfully lacking relationship between the two of them with ample room for Tim to feel the pain and doubt in moments like this; the M.E.'s tone softened significantly when he spoke next, compassionately clasping Tim on the shoulder. "Not just Tony, my boy." He knew that the unpleasant status in their relationship that should have at least in some small way or another, resembled that of the relationship Gibbs had with Tony, had become the sad truth of it all and he wasn't about to berate the younger man for it.

Doubt was written all over Tim's face as he sighed tiredly and gave in to what the older man was saying. He was too tired to fight about anything right now, most especially how someone did or didn't feel about him. "Okay. I'm gonna go talk to Abby."

Ducky frowned. "I will bring you an update on Tony when I have one. However, sleep is what's best for him right now."

"Thanks, Ducky." Tim offered before he turned and headed down the stairs.

*********NCIS********

Abby shifted from one foot to the other rather than attack the door bell again. Everyone inside had a lot going on and the last thing they needed was the headache of an insistent doorbell. She could wait. She'd forgotten what torture waiting was though and as she stood doing just that, her mind began to fill with what-ifs and other scenerio's that weren't all that positive or hoped for. Reaching back, she gave herself a light head-slap, hearing the door open in front of her as she did.

"Abby?" Tim's soft, uncertain voice soothed her like a warm blanket, even as she picked up on his exhaustion.

"Tim!" She enveloped him in an embrace he actually stood still for, at least for a full count of ten seconds before gently pulling back, barely smiling and turning to give her room to come further into the house.

Understanding that he wasn't comfortable with any more than that, she followed his lead and quietly walked with him into Ducky's kitchen.

"I'm gonna get a cup of coffee. You?" He offered her quietly.

"Sit, Tim. I'll get it." She instructed with just a touch of authority. "You've had a rough night - not to mention a rough few weeks in front of that."

"Thanks, Abby. But, I'm not made of glass and I'm not gonna break."

"Doesn't mean you can't let your friends help you out."

Tim sighed. "I know. You know what, on second thought, I'm too tired for coffee. I think I'm gonna go crash on Ducky's spare bed."

"You know where that is?" Abby asked him in surprise.

"I _was_ here last night, Abby." He gave back with a twinge of sarcasm. "Sorry. Guess I am too tired for my own good."

"Don't worry about it. Go on - take a nap." Since helping Tim through this past week, Abby's ability to dial her own emotions down when the others needed her to had greatly improved to the point that this moment, when it counted most, actually found her completely in synch with keeping things toned down

"Ask Ducky to come get me if Tony wakes up?"

"I will, Tim. I promise." She vowed.

He nodded and headed upstairs, tiredly clinging to the hand railing with every step as he disappeared around the corner on the 2nd floor a moment later. It wasn't until Abby heard the distant sound of a far away door closing that she stopped watching him and turned back to the kitchen. Heading straight to the stove, she finished making herself a cup of coffee - a rare instance, but necessary since there was no caf-pow at Ducky's and it was going to be a very long night.

*********NCIS**********

Seeing Abby lost in her thoughts over a hot cup of coffee in Ducky's kitchen, Gibbs skirted the room and made a beeline for the upstairs as he came in from the backyard where he'd gone to give the boys some room to breathe while Ducky checked them over. Being quiet, he checked on both of them, pleased and relieved to find Tim actually sleeping peacefully and Tony too, albeit with the aide of the sedative he knew Ducky'd planned on giving him.

They needed to talk but it certainly could wait until they'd all gotten some sleep. He hoped it would be a more restful night than it had seemed to be heading towards earlier. But, he was also a realist and he knew that both of his boys had more on their minds than they should and had experienced more than they ever should have so it was possible that they would not be sleeping through the night. Whichever way it went for them, he would be ready. Their Team Leader would be there for them. He would not let them down again. Having gotten the vibe from Tim earlier in the evening that he wasn't wanted, he silently hunkered down in Tony's room to watch over him while the M.E. looked at him with understanding and changed rooms with him, making himself available for Tim.


	14. Chapter 14

_Special Thanks to_ _earthdragon_ _\- and a sincere hope that you don't mind if your brilliant assessment has been respectfully borrowed where it fit best in the story?_

* * *

After what seemed like hours, Abby finally heard footsteps coming down the stairs and she sat up from where she'd fallen asleep on the couch a short while ago. She wasn't surprised to see a glimpse of Gibbs' head as the man turned to go into the kitchen. Although it was impossible to see his expression from where she was sitting, she knew by his less than erect posture that he had a heavy weight of something on his mind.

Wanting to be there for him, she followed him into the kitchen. "Gibbs. It's only been a couple of hours. Are you not sleeping? Is everything okay?"

"You're still here." He observed quietly, deliberately not answering her questions. He wasn't about to tell her that Tony had asked him to leave when he'd woken up a few moments ago. The Senior Field Agent had only gotten two hours of sleep in before the restlessness of his dreams had roused him. Still seemingly out of it until, that is, he'd taken one look at his boss watching him sleep and he'd gone on the offensive.

 _""Not talkin' about this with you."_

 _"Ok."_

 _"Don't do that. Ok? Just go. Please."_

 _"To..."_

 _"No!" The younger man shook his head. "I really need you to just go. I can't deal with you being here Besides, you have a job to do. It's not like I can do mine, right?"_

With Tony's words still echoing in his head, the Team Leader could barely think of anything else, much less address Abby on any level. The weapon he'd harnessed long ago, once again stood him in good stead. After all, even Abby understood that Gibbs operating on silence was a warning sign not to be taken lightly.

*********NCIS**********

 _"...not like I can do mine, right?"_

The sound of Tony berating someone woke Tim from a sound sleep. Sitting up, he wiped the sleep from his eyes stretched his arms , shoulders and neck to work the kinks out before putting his feet on the floor, standing up and padding barefoot down the hall to check on his teammate. Seeing his friend looking almost empty as he stared at the wall, yet alone and still breathing heavily, he immediately set himself down in front of him and spoke his name.

*****************NCIS******************

Hearing his name in the voice that belonged to his friend and teammate, Tony mentally blinked and returned to the here and now. Looking over at Tim, he stared at him wordlessly for a moment.

"You okay?" Tim asked.

"Think that's my line." Tony quipped quietly, no humor audible anywhere.

"What can I do to help?"

"What, saving my life wasn't enough for you?"

"Not gonna work, Tony." Tim firmly yet quietly informed him. "I'm not leaving."

"Not even if I ask you to?"

"That what you want?"

Tony sighed. "No."

"Then no."

Now, Tony nodded. He was beginning to understand what was going on with Tim. This spiraling end result had shaken the younger man to the core and he was fighting desperately to make sure nothing happened to Tony. And, although he didn't deserve it, Tony was grateful as hell for it. He thought about Tim's question. What _could_ the younger man do to help? _Fill in the blanks!_

Watching Tony go quiet as he began thinking, Tim wasn't completely shocked when in less than two minutes, the older man opened his eyes back up and looked straight at him, something obviously on his mind. "You've thought of something I can do to help."

"Yeah. But, it's okay if you say no."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because this is asking a lot."

"Tony. Just tell me. What is it you need me to do?"

"Fill in the blanks from that night. Walk me through what happened."

*****************NCIS******************

At nearly 0300, Ducky was still wide awake - and exhausted. Yet, all his thoughts were still centered on the two young men upstairs, now in need of nourishment and a good hot cup of coffee. He knew them enough to know that waking up at this hour would not in any way get them back to sleep. He'd passed Abigail sleeping on his sofa in the living room and was in no hurry to disturb her or have her join the others in any discussion. Her only business here was to make sure her friends were all right and as soon as she woke up in the morning, he would make sure she went home without disturbing them.

Setting the coffee maker to brew, the M.E. then set about warming up left over plates of pancakes and sausages, making sure to set the carton of eggs out for them to see. Equally concerned about their vitamin intake, he poured two tall glasses of orange juice for them before he was satisfied that it was a good enough start to their day. Hearing the sound of footsteps on the stairs and subsequently on his kitchen floor, Ducky turned around to scrutinize which ever young man this happened to be entering his kitchen.

Timothy looked almost haunted, as if someone had re-opened the door of that night for him, yet again. Exhaustion hung on him like clothing that was two sizes too big and the look in his eyes spoke of a hybrid of emotions that couldn't be covered in on discussion at this early hour of the morning. In spite of his own state of extreme tiredness, he felt compelled to verbally hear how the younger man was doing. "Timothy, did you rest at all?"

Tim nodded. "Slept fine, till I heard Tony going off on somone."

"Apparently, he was not very open to Gibbs watching over him. I was just heading up to see him now."

Silently, Tim nodded that he understood and took a seat at the table, his thoughts soon pulling him under. Even preoccupied, he wasn't surprised to see a cup of hot coffee set before him in a short span of time. "Thanks. " He murmured without looking away from the table, his brief conversation with Tony still playing on his mind.

 _"...what happened"_

 _"No"_

 _"Damn it, Tim!"_

 _"I know you want the chance to put this in perspective, the right context. I get that. But, I won't do this without someone else sitting with us to help us through it, Tony._

 _"You mean your shrink."_

 _"Yes!"_

 _"Ok. Fair enough. Set it up."_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Yeah. ASAP!"_

 _"Ok, then."_

"You're welcome." The unexpected sound of Gibbs speaking quietly brought Tim back to the here and now in time to see the man heading out of the room to parts unknown, his own cup of coffee in hand.

Tim shook his head, befuddled at how he'd missed the man's presence to begin with. Sighing tiredly, he took himself out of the kitchen, in search of Abby. His gut told him she was still here somewhere, like him, not yet satisfied that Tony was all right. She really needed to take his word for it that Tony would be fine and go home now. Without even thinking about it, he took himself to the living room, mentally preparing himself for this conversation.

 **********NCIS***********

Abby awoke to the sound of Tim quietly calling her name. Sitting up, she wiped the sleep from her eyes and smiled at him. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself. C'mon, let's talk outside." He helped her up off the couch and handed her the glass of juice Ducky had left for him. He'd have some later but right now, his only thirst was for coffee.

"You okay?" She asked with obvious worry.

"Yeah." He offered quietly as he led the way outside to the porch.

"It's really nice out here. I can see why Ducky loves his backyard so much."

"I agree. C'mon, let's take this away from the house a little."

"Uh-oh. I don't like the sounds of this."

Tim shook his head and said nothing more until they'd gone at least half-way across Ducky's fenced yard.

"What is it, Tim?"

"Abby, it's time for you to go home."

"That why you brought out us back instead of taking me to my car?" She asked in confusion.

"I don't know, I just..." Tim shook his head. "Guess I'm just tired, not thinkin' straight."

"I know you're exhausted Tim. But there's more going on here. Talk to me!"

*****************NCIS************

Watching his patient stare off into the darkness of the moonlit night peeking at him through the barely open curtains, Ducky waited anxiously. He didn't have long to wait before his presence was not only acknowledged but accepted, as he'd hoped it would be.

"Hey, Ducky. Can't sleep either?"

The M.E. frowned at the dose of sarcasm within the younger man's tone. Ignoring it beyond that, he set his medical bag on the chair and began withdrawing the things he needed to give Tony another once over. "I did manage to rest for a bit, Anthony. Have you? That sedative I gave you should have helped you sleep through the night." The apology within The M.E's ton was unmistakable as he checked Tony's vitals while he had the young man awake enough to do so without further disturbing him.

"Not your fault, Ducky." Tony replied with a sigh. "Got too much on my mind to sleep much."

"Maybe I can help with that." An unexpected voice came from the doorway.

 **********NCIS***********

"You're not just tired, Tim. Something's got you wired so tight, you can't sleep. What is it? Tony's okay, right? I mean, Ducky and Gibbs are keeping an eye on him and he's sleeping, right?"

Tim nodded. "Yeah. Tony's trying to sleep. Ducky's keepin' an eye on him."

"Okay. So, if it's not Tony being in trouble, then what is it that's keeping you awake? What's wrong?"

"Can't believe things fell apart like this!" Tim muttered angrily as he paced Ducky's back yard. _Damn it, why did things have to spiral so out of control like this?_

"Oh, Tim." Abby stepped up to him, bringing his pacing to a halt as she hugged him. "I'm really sorry."

"Not your fault, Abbs. You hear me? This was _not_ your fault." Tim hugged her tight, desperate for her NOT to blame herself.

You're saying it was yours?" She stepped back just enough to look him in the eye and demand the same from him.

Tim shook his head as he plopped down on Ducky's picnic table, his feet on the bench. "No. No, I'm not because I _know_ it wasn't. I mean, maybe I was wrong to keep this from him - but **only** because it's a trust issue with Tony. But, _**No**_ part of me was _**ever**_ gonna be okay with him finding out! And since **this** was the outcome, I'm more convinced than ever that we; **I** was right not to tell him. But, _**I**_ didn't put him out on that ledge tonight, Abby. At least I sure as hell hope me keeping it from him didn't! The **only** thing I've done since this whole nightmare started is **protect** him." Tim's tone was near breaking.

"Did a hell of a lot more than that, Tim. You saved his life tonight." Gibbs' unexpected voice joined their quiet discussion. "I ... _You_ pulled him in - took the gun, removed the clip."

Getting to his feet, Tim silently nodded affirmatively; his only acknowledgement of what he'd had to do tonight, now shaken by the knowledge that Gibbs had been there in time to see all that. Walking in the opposite direction, he steered himself away from the boss, stopping on the back porch, his hands on the railing as he looked down at his feet. After everything he'd experienced tonight - and everything he'd come too damned close to experiencing, he couldn't take much more of any of this, especially any recriminations or criticisms. Sadly, there was even a small part of him that was relieved he didn't have to carry this secret around anymore. And for that, he hated himself because that had come at too high a price.

But, Tony's recovery was another story and Tim was not going anywhere. His partner needed all the support he could get. "Hell of a thing to live through and feel like you can't tell anyone." Gibbs softly surmised with sympathy. Coming to a stop next to Tim but far enough from him that he was not crowding him, the Team Leader waited with bated breath.

He knew that Tim had walked away from him a moment ago for a reason and he was pushing the younger man further right now that he'd done in the last few weeks. But, this was important. He needed to make sure Tim heard this.

"Wasn't gonna let his life spiral out of control because he wasn't consciously aware of what he'd done." Tim calmly responded, only to laugh bitterly. " _That_ plan sure as hell backfired, didn't it?"

"Not your fault." Gibbs firmly asserted. "Don't want you blamin' yourself for that."

"I _don't_." Tim looked at him directly as he replied without hesitation, his tone strong and angry. "I _blame_ you."

"Easy, Tim." A new voice entered the discussion, the familiar and welcome sound of it turning Tim immediately towards the doorway from where it had come from.

"You're here?" The young man was clearly just as surprised as he was relieved.

"C'mon, let's go talk to Tony." The Doctor gestured back inside.

Without another word, Tim walked away, he and Dr. Finnerty silently passing Ducky just inside the door with little more than a nod of recognition between the two older men.

 ****************NCIS****************

"Is that who I think it is?" Abby asked with some relief from where she'd been standing right behind him

"If by that you mean Timothy's Doctor, then the answer to your question, Abigail, is, yes." Ducky answered her solemnly as he walked up to them. "Apparently, Timothy called him after I relayed the news to him of Anthony's disaapearance last night and again this morning while he was enroute to reach his teammate. Unfortunately, his flight was delayed or he would have been here several hours ago."

"Just glad he's here." Gibbs offered as he sighed with pent up sorrow and concern for what both his boys were going through mixed together relief at the arrival of the very much-needed Psychologist who could now help both of them.

"Gibbs." Abby greeted him sadly. "I know what Tim just said to you sounded awful. He's hurt and he's angry."

"At me? Why?"

"Because, Jethro." The M.E. unexpectedly answered the question for her. "Through all of this, one of the most traumatic situations he's ever been in, he felt like you failed to be there for him."

"Duck, you were there! I practically begged him to let me in, to talk to me!" The Team Leader defended himself angrily.

"Wanting him to let you in is NOT the same thing as having his back from the very start, Jethro. Surely, you recall that first day - when he came to work hurt and damaged. Your focus was on being angry with Timothy for what you viewed as his failure to be there for Anthony. "

"No! It was more than that!" Gibbs denies angrily." I _asked_ him if he was all right! He downplayed it! Lied about it!"

"Is there any wonder as to why? Timothy knows you better than you realize. He knew your focus was truly on Anthony. To tell you otherwise, would have opened the Pandora's Box, he was ill-prepared to open. The events of tonight have proven his deep concern to be accurate. Consider this. Timothy was unwilling to be placed on speakerphone when told of your presence in the room in the course of my conversation with him while he was in his doctor's office. You must draw your own conclusions from that, my friend."

Now Gibbs was silent. He remembered just as he remembered Ducky's previous warning that the reason Tim hadn't come to Gibbs is because the young man had been too traumatized to talk about it. Where had the Team Leader's support, compassion and unwavering loyalty been in those moments?

"I saw the security footage from the squad room for that morning, Gibbs. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how you could have missed how badly he needed you to step up for him." Abby added now, having previously gone silent while the two older men talked this out.

Gibbs shook his head, his tone sad and loaded with regret. "I know, Abbs. I know."

"Jethro, I know what you're thinking. And we don't know that for sure."

"I know Tony, Duck. Not a whole lot of reasons he'd kick me outta his room like that!"

"Oh, Gibbs!" Abby sadly commiserated over this new piece of the puzzle.

Gibbs shook his head. "No. Don't Abbs. Ducky's right. _I_ did this."

"But, you have also reassured Anthony that his job is safe. Having done that and having heard straight from his mouth that you are not wanted here at the moment, I believe both you and Abigail should take this time to go home and get some real sleep. The boys will be fine with me. Dr. Finnerty is here to make sure of their mental well-being while I attend to their physical health. Both of you, go home. Doctor's orders!"

Having said that, Ducky retreated back inside, obviously counting on them to do as he'd just instructed.

"C'mon, Abbs. I'll drive you home." The Team Leader requested as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her toward the door.

"No thanks, Gibbs. I've had some sleep. You, on the other hand..."

"I'm fine."

"Maybe. But, I'm not taking the chance. I'm driving you home."

Nodding as his physical body seemed to melt under the weight of the exhaustion hanging over him, Gibbs walked with her back through the house, making sure to lock the door behind him as they kept going on out to her car with Gibbs getting in the passenger seat without a fight.

 **********NCIS***********

"I appreciate you comin' out here just for me, Doc." Tony offered the man when he returned to his room with Tim in tow. Sitting up now, with no sign of sleep in sight, the Senior Field Agent was wide-awake and ready to have this first 'shrink fest' here and now.

"Tony, while you may be wallowing in the situation that inadvertently resulted from your encounter with your college frat brothers that have brought things to this point, I assure you, I am not here only for your sake. I am also here for Tim's." Dr. Finnerty said as he watched Tim take a seat by the window, the young man's eyes immediately going to his friend and teammate.

"Oh, sure. I know, it's just...wait...wallowing?"

"Tony. Let me ask you something."

"Sure."

"What do you want to have happen now? If I'm the genie and you've just rubbed the lamp..."

"Well, short of turning back time and making it so none of this ever happened, making sure it doesn't screw with our lives any more than it already has?"

"Good. Let me cut to the chase here. All right? I have spoken with both Dr. Mallard and Agent Gibbs and from what they've told me, you've slept little, lashed out a little and stared off into space a lot, as if you can't move from where you've become stuck. "

"Yeah, that's kinda how it feels." Tony admitted softly.

"I can sympathize with your feelings of guilt and fear, but you really need to stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"What?"  
"What?"

Despite the shock from both of the younger men, the doctor kept going, determined to set them on the right track. "Ask yourself this question, Tony. The thoughts that have kept you staring off into space. Who do they reflect on?"

"Yeah. Okay. I see it."

"Good. Now, let's hit some reasons for you to move forward. You already have confirmation from Agent Gibbs that your job is safe, if that is your main concern with him. What you need to be thinking about and working on now is strengthening your friendship with Tim - which isn't broken, if Tim's concern for you is anything to go by. He's not sleeping or eating. Hasn't been for days."

Tony blinked. He looked over at Tim, finding his probie's eyes looked on him already floored him. "That true, Tim?"

Tim silently nodded, shocked that his shrink would stand up for him this way.

"Oh, Probie."

"Tell Tony what you need from him, Tim." Dr. Finnerty instructed his patient.

Tim swallowed hard and opened his mouth. "I need you to promise me that you won't do anything stupid like that again. That you'll talk - to me, Ducky, or Dr. Finnerty first. Hell, Tony, talk to Gibbs first, I don't care! Just DON'T do THAT again!" Tim had by now shot to his feet and begun pacing back and forth down Tony's side of the bed.

"I'm sorry, Tim." Tony felt small and his voice proved it, almost breaking as he watched Tim allow himself to literally rip into Tony, his emotions spilling over like never before. "I promise, man! Seriously. I will never again, reach for the drink or the gun like I did last night."

"At all, Tony! Don't reach for them at all!" Tim stopped, pivoted on his feet and let his eyes bore into Tony's, demanding this from him. "Drinking's what got you into this mess in the first place!" A flash of anger pierced Tim's soul to the point where he immediately went silent to prevent it from insinuating itself into this confrontation. Now was not the time to be resentful over Tony's dad issues that seemed petty in light of his own. No. His focus needed to remain on Tony - for now.

"You're right. I promise I won't ."

Tim nodded as he forced himself to calm down, his fear finally freed and spent, his anger harnessed for another day.

"Anthony, why don't you spend a few moments talking one on one with Dr. Finnerty while I take Timothy down to the kitchen for a bite to eat?" Ducky suggested.

Dr. Finnerty nodded at the suggestion turned his eyes to the Senior Field Agent, giving him the time and space to make the first move, to speak whatever was on his mind.

Tony blinked several times, swallowed hard and turned to look at his teammate's shrink. "I just have one question."

"Ok."

"Is Tim really okay?"


	15. Epilogue

A/N: Thank You athea781! - Your inspiring review brought depth to this chapter. Thank you!

* * *

Coming to work Monday morning - having taken the weekend to stay by Tony's side as he subjected himself to the first session of therapy that wasn't while he was still in bed, Tim was subdued, his movements slow and his mind still on Tony. His teammate and friend had been asked all kinds of questions that had forced him to dig deep into how he'd been feeling this past week with all this craziness going on - as Dr. Finnerty had attempted to piece together the puzzle that resulted with Tony's severe choices.

Even though he'd gone through the same questions and had dug deep within himself just a few days ago for the answers - Tim found that sitting through Tony's was hard - especially since Tony had asked him to stay more than once, begged him not to leave, no matter how rough the session got. Tim had given him his word and kept it. But, he'd gotten plenty uncomfortable with it from his sideline perspective.

Luckily, Dr. Finnerty had been tuned into that as well and had addressed it. The doctor had informed both of them that getting to the bottom of that was just as important, if not more so than firmly moving forward. It had worried Tim to see Tony so withdrawn and pliant when the session had wound down. Not knowing what else to do, Tim just kept going with things, putting his brain to work logically enough to take the older man back to his apartment with him and settle him on the couch, quickly putting on a James Bond Marathon that would either pull Tony out of it a little or bore him enough to help him sleep.

He'd watched over him from a distance, staying in the kitchen to do his weekly cooking that would keep him fed for the rest of the week, making enough noise to remind the older man he was there. Periodically, he'd walk back into the living room and check up close to see if Tony was managing to get some rest. If he happened to be awake, he'd ask him if he needed anything. If he seemed to be asleep, Tim left him alone. Tim felt helpless, but didn't know what else to do. What he did know is that this was something only they could deal with - together.

************NCIS**********

Completely brain fried after digging around in his innermost soul for most of the morning, Tony slipped into a headspace of sorts the moment the doctor told him to think about anything but this until tomorrow and Tim put his hand on his shoulder. When the younger man quietly urged him to come back to his place with him so he could keep an eye on him and get him back here in the morning, he'd simply nodded and followed him like a lost puppy looking for a home.

The ability to think of anything outside of the situation and how he'd attempted to escape it, solve it for his friend and teammate, just wasn't there. It was the only thing invading his thoughts. Maybe Tim understood because the moment they got in to his apartment, the younger man did nothing but work to make Tony comfortable and surrounded by something he loved, with no conversation or questions beyond asking if Tony needed anything else. How could he need anything besides a James Bond marathon? Who knew Probie had such a thing? The kid had been holdin' out on him!

Thankful for the escape, Tony had been quick to zone in on the movies and tune everything else out, including Tim. Every now and then a distant question would pierce his hearing, asking if he needed anything, but Tony never answered, his mind securely encased in Bond's awesomeness as an agent, not to mention the eye candy parading across the screen in the form of Bond's woman of the moment - all in all, the perfect medicine for a mind gone numb. Sleep found him there and carried him off for the night.

************NCIS**********

Looking over at his friend's empty desk as he, himself walked into the squad room now and placed the two envelopes he'd carried in with him on the boss' desk, Tim frowned. He knew Tony had dropped off to sleep around nine last night and had slept restlessly. He hoped the older man was feeling better this morning, but hadn't invaded his space or privacy enough to dispel the silence between them to ask as he'd driven him to his appointment. With every mile he'd driven, his thoughts had churned over the phone call he'd made to Dr. Finnerty while Tony slept last night.

 _***Flashback***_

 _"Tim? Everything all right?"_

 _"Yeah. I just need to ask you something."_

 _"Ok."_

 _"Tony still needs to hear exactly what happened."_

 _"You haven't told him yet."_

 _"I wasn't about to without you there. Instead of dragging all of that night back up, can you just let Tony hear what I've already told you?"_

 _"You want me to let him listen to the session where you told me everything that happened that night."_

 _"Yeah. I mean, not really, but it'd be better than reliving it again and forcing him to face me while he processes it for the first time."_

 _"And you don't mind letting him in that deeply to everything you were feeling and how it affected you?"_

 _"I do, but he's gonna dig around for that anyway - later on. I'd rather it all come out now - as painlessly as possible and without me there for him to have to worry about."_

 _"Understandable."_

 _"Does that make me a bad person?"_

 _"No, Tim. It makes you human. And don't forget, you_ _ **are**_ _still looking out for Tony, too."_

 _"So then you'll do it?"_

 _"Yes. When you drop him off in the morning, I'll let him hear the details he's been asking for."_

 _"Thank you, Dr. Finnerty. For everything!"_

 _"You're quite welcome, Tim. I will be checking in on you as the week progresses, especially once Tony's been brought up to speed on everything."_

 _"I appreciate it, Dr. Really."_

 _"Just one more thing, Tim..."_

 _"Okay?"_

 _"Want you to think about talking to Gibbs about his favoritism and your dad. And Tony - about your dad, too."_

 _"What? Why?"_

 _"I don't want to see that anger you're carrying eat you alive inside because you've never allowed yourself to release it to the right person."_

 _"No, I can't, I mean, I..."_

 _"Need to promise me you'll think about it."_

 _"Okay. I can do that."_

 _"Good. Good night, Ti..."_

"Good morning, McGee." Ziva's greeting brought Tim back to the here and now. Blinking, he quietly greeted her in return, his thoughts still swirling around that decision., He'd struggled with that option, knowing that Tony would not only hear the details he'd gone blank on, but also get an earful of the emotions the incident had brought out in Tim - how broken he'd felt. He still wasn't sure it was the right way to go, only that it was the only way he could give Tony what the older man needed, without hurting himself further. Chalking it up to self-preservation, he sighed. Silently praying that it was the right thing to do, he closed the door on that situation entirely, ready now to face the day. Given what was in store for Tony this morning, Ducky was the Senior Field Agent's wingman for the day and Tim was relieved the M.E. had agreed with him on that and willingly taken the day off for it.

 _ *********NCIS**********_

As silently as usual, Gibbs made his way into the squad room and took a seat behind his desk. Taking in the far off look on Tim's face and the two envelopes sitting on his own desk, the Team Leader wondered if his agent had been cleared for field duty already. It wouldn't affect his job either way since Gibbs had already requested his team be taken off rotation until he could see that they were cohesive and back in synch again. But, as the leader, he was concerned for Tim's state of mind after the hell he'd just been through and the crazy, unexpected way he'd had to fight his way back through it all.

Knowing Tim didn't need him intruding into his thoughts just yet, Gibbs focused on the envelopes on his desk. Taking the papers out of the first one, he wasn't surprised to find Tim's doctor while clearing him for desk duty, was urging Gibbs to wait a week or two before sending him back out into the field. It was an assessment Gibbs could certainly agree to and as he slipped the paper into his desk drawer, he moved on to the next one, not sure what it could be.

Seeing that it was a typed letter addressed to him from Tim's doctor, shocked him. Without hesitation, he began reading it, knowing his agents would find something to do on their own while he gave this his attention.

 _"Agent Gibbs:_

 _Although both Tim and Tony will be continuing to see me, I wanted to extend the offer to discuss things further, to you. Dr. Mallard has informed me of your aversion to Psychologists which tells me you will most likely not avail yourself to meet with me. Be that as it may, for your agents' best interests, your input and your cooperation will be vitally important. To put it bluntly, they both need you where you are in this healing process, in the background, watching over them. Protecting them while they heal - without unwanted intrusions or pressure._

 _In the absence of a face to face meeting, putting it down on paper will have to do. Dr. Mallard assures me that you will, however, take what I'm about to say to heart and do with it what is best for your agents. Now, having said that let me move on._

 _As Team Leader for them both, I realize you may have some serious concerns on the heels of what has transpired. Let me put those concerns to rest:_

 _In coming to his friend and teammate's rescue, Tim has inadvertently started the healing process by incidentally allowing Tony to see for himself that Tim doesn't blame him and that he has forgiven him. That his faith and trust in him is still there and that their friendship will survive._

 _Tony allowing himself to be rescued showed Tim that he is needed. That they are truly a partnership. That he finally belongs. That's all he ever really wanted, to belong. In short, their camaraderie is secure, their trust in one another still there and still strong - your team is intact - if not stronger._

 _I understand from Dr. Mallard that this was not the first time Tim has saved Tony's life. Let's neither of us forget that neither of them have forgotten that._

 _And while I'm sure you have questions for Tim, I'd like you to answer a few questions within yourself before you attempt to speak with him about any of this._

 _Tony tells me you're fully aware of the status of his ever-changing relationship with his father and that you are also fully aware of their history. He tells me you've even taken his father to task over the less than decent way he's treated Tony over the years, telling him he'd done a lousy job and that he needed to do better? Commendable, admirable and above and beyond the call of duty for you to have done so._

 _Have you done the same for Tim? Or have you not yet taken the time to ascertain what that relationship is or is not for him? What do you know about Tim's relationship with_ _ **his**_ _father? When's the last time you took the time to ask him? I ask because it greatly affects Tim's perspective on his place on your team and within your ranks. And it highlights your blatant favoritism - blindingly so._

 _I've been told that you think of Tony as your son, love and guide him as if he were. Why does that not define how you think of Tim? How you act towards him?_

 _Have you ever given any thought as to how those two perceive their relationship with you? How they themselves think and feel? How it affects the way they relate to you - or not?_

 _Tony has told me that you've been made aware of his drinking binge within the last two weeks - and Tim's frequent fly-by-night rescues that left him short on sleep before the incident occurred. You've spoken to Tony and ironed things out with him, laid down the law for him. That's good. He needed to hear that and he needed to feel the support that came from that._

 _Have you taken the time discuss any of this with Tim?_

 _Before you answer either of those- and finding those answers is key to helping Tim heal, by the way - let me give you one more the think over._

 _When is the last time you spent any time talking with Tim about something that didn't include work? Asked him about his family? Asked him about his writing? Asked him how he was doing, even? Granted you don't dig in the others' lives either, - but you have been known to at least care enough to ask and invite. I've heard mention of 'cowboy steaks in your fireplace' mentioned with relish and reverence, by Tony, anyway._

 _Dicussions you have had- albeit in bits and pieces - with your other agents and team members, on a regular basis from what I have come to understand. Which leads me to my last piece of advice - it isn't every day one sees the end result of his own blatant favoritism among the ranks of his team - so, please take some time to do some soul searching and find a resolution to this near fatal-flaw in your managing methods._

 _That's not to say that if the opportunity to talk with Tim presents itself, you should ignore it. Quite the opposite, if you feel you are ready to open yourself up to letting him hear what he's long needed to hear from you - the man he respects, admires and loves - more than any other. Don't squander that trust again. You just might not get another chance from him to earn it back._

 _I look forward to talking with you, should you choose to take me up on my offer. My phone is always on and my door always open for Tim and Tony - and for you as well._

 _Sincerely_

 _Dr. Finnerty_

 _ *********NCIS**********_

Watching as her teammate struggled to mentally put away the burden he'd come in to work with, Ziva frowned in concern. Glancing over at the Team Leader as the man dropped the pieces of paper he'd been reading and stood up, she was surprised to see Gibbs shaking his head in silent warning for her to leave it alone. The look on his face booked no argument. At the same time, there was something in his expression that eased her mind on the matter, as if she could tell he knew more about what was going on than she realized.

Crooking his finger at her, Gibbs beckoned her to follow him out of ear shot of the obviously troubled young man and handed her several files. "Take these to Abby - stay with her - help her work through them."

"You do not wish for me to be in the squad room today." She knowingly surmised.

"McGee needs a breather, Ziva. Not an audience."

"And Tony?" Ziva asked with genuine concern.

"Will be back when he's _ready_ to come back." Gibbs offered seriously, not taking her lightly in the least.

"I see."

"It's been taken care of. You and Abby need to let it go." He instructed her in that tone of his that promised he was on top of things more than she'd realized.

"Are they all right?"

"They will be, Ziva. They will be."

"You will watch over them, Gibbs. Yes?"

"Already on it, Zee."

"McGee seems..."

" _He'll_ be fine."

"Gibbs, you are quick to dismiss him when he needs you. We have all seen this." She quietly chastised him, allowing him to see where her concerns truly lay in when it came to trusting him with her friends' well-being.

"Not this time." He vowed with his promise shining in his eyes as he looked at her.

"All right." With that comprehension and his verbal promise to take care of her friends and teammates better this time, Ziva did as he asked and took herself down to the lab.

Watching her leave, Gibbs' thoughts and eyes immediately turned to Tim and to the pages he'd just read from Tim's shrink, especially the second one, a personal note from the Doctor to Gibbs' himself.

 _ *********NCIS**********_

Watching the exchange out of the corner of his eye, Tim sighed. Of course, Ziva knew. She had to be part of the reason they'd been able to round up the guilty parties in this nightmare. Working to keep himself on an even keel, his mind returned to yesterday when Tony's finally spoke in regard to his first actual counseling session that wasn't conducted by his bedside.

***Flashback***

 _"Can't tell you how much I appreciate this, Tim."_

 _"No need, Tony. Honest. I'm just glad you're here - willingly."_

 _"Even_ _ **I**_ _know I can't go another step without help. This is too big - too much. I..."_

 _"Tony. It's okay. I get it. Let's just take this one step at a time all right?"_

 _"What are you - bucking for sainthood?"_

 _"No, just for my friend to land on his feet - hopefully without having to go through any of the symptoms of PTSD."_

 _"You mean like recurrent memories or flashbacks of the incident - nightmares - insomnia - mood swings - difficulty concentrating - panic attacks - emotional numbness - depression and anxiety?"_

 _"Yeah. Any of those."_

 _"All of which you've just gone through because of me." Tony knowingly surmised, making it obvious he knew Tim had had a really rough time of it. "Tim, I'm so sor..."_

 _Tim shook his head. "Because of_ _ **them,**_ _not you. And_ _ **I**_ _got help. Now, we need to focus on making sure_ _ **you**_ _do too."_

 _Pulling Tim in with one arm, he hugged him to his chest. "Thanks, Ti..."_

"McGee?"

The boss' quiet calling of his name dragged Tim back to the here and now. Caught off guard at this, the second time this morning he'd been caught lost in thoughts, he looked up. Tim was shocked to find the man perched on the corner of his desk looking at him with concern, his own concern spilling forth before he could filter it. "Boss?"

"You all right?"

"Honestly?" Tim asked with all seriousness.

"Yes."

Tim sat back in his chair as he breathed out on an emotional sigh. "I'm working on it."

Not trying to ignore the sound advice Tim's doctor had written out, The Team Leader had to take the given opportunity to make things right - or at least try. He damned sure couldn't waste this chance. "Owe you an apology, Tim. More than one."

Tim had nothing to say - couldn't think of what **to** say. He certainly wasn't going to disagree with the man. One thing he wasn't going to do, was discuss it out here in the open. Tim stood to his feet and silently gestured toward the back elevator, silently asking to take this somewhere more private

Nodding, Gibbs let Tim lead the way, walking just behind Tim as the younger man walked without hesitation toward an interview room. Gibbs felt a wave of pride roll through him for the man that Tim had become. Shutting the door behind himself as he walked into the room right behind his agent, he finally spoke, his tone still respectful and quiet. "Should never have gotten that pissed at you that first day"

"Can't argue with that." Tim glanced at him as he strolled to the window and looked out

Gibbs nodded. "I know. And I _am_ sorry."'

"Apology accepted. _This_ time." The young man turned and look at him directly.

The boss' mouth quirked into a grin. "Understood."

Tim continued to look at him with expectancy now. The man had said more than one apology and he waited to hear what the other one was for.

"It's my fault Tony found out the way he did."

"How?" Tim asked with a dose of quiet anger. After all, Tim had worked very hard to keep it under wraps. He'd almost lost his best friend because he **had** found out after all. It was a pretty serious thing to admit to be responsible for and it did nothing to keep Tim on an even keel at the moment.

"Took the file home - didn't secure the drawer I put it in."

"It's not your fault Tony's a snoop." Tim defended his boss. "It's how he's wired."

Gibbs shook his head; not willing to let himself off the hook that easy. "Shoulda done better."

"Not gonna disagree with you on that either." Tim quietly turned the discussion, his eyes moved off the older man and back out to the world outside the window. "Frankly, Boss. I just can't talk about this anymore. Ever."

"Understood. Just wanted to thank you."

"For what?" Tim asked in confusion as he turned and looked at him once more.

A silent look that said he should know what the boss was referring to had Tim swallowing hard but saying nothing.

Several heartbeats later, Gibbs gave voice to what he needed Tim to hear above anything else. " Damned proud of ya. Wanted you to know that."

"Would have been nice to hear before THIS happened!" Tim looked at him with a seriousness he hadn't been able to shed in the past month, his anger once again beginning to simmer below the surface.

"I know." Gibbs admitted apologetically. "Can't undo the damage. Doesn't mean I don't wish I could."

Tim barely heard him, caught up in pusheing to let the man hear what he wanted him to hear. "But you know what? For the first time since I've been on this team, I didn't do _any_ of what it took to keep Tony safe - to make you proud of me. I _did_ it for Tony - and not to prove anything to you!"

"I know, Tim."

"Really?" With the conversational door open wider between them than it had ever been before, Tim's mouth was running away from him.

"Yeah."

"Does this mean I'll never have to hear how I failed to step up for my teammate again? " Tim shook his head. "Never mind. Too much to ask." He muttered as he turned back to look away from the boss.

"I deserved that." Gibbs laid out without recrimination. "You're a better man that I treated you. I am sorry."

Tim refused to dignify that with an answer, choosing to keep his eyes outside where all seemed serene and quiet.

"Got no cause to be pissed at you for how you feel, Tim. Proud of ya for tellin' me straight.""

Now, the younger man turned around, leaned back against the window and crossed his arms over his chest. "What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Dunno, realize this gave me the wake-up call I needed? Shown me where I've fallen down on the job with you. Gonna do better by you. If you'll let me."

"Feels surreal, hearing you admit this, especially to me. I can't believe you're even talking to me at all since we're not talking about a case - or Abby or Tony - or even Ziva." Tim admitted quietly, as if he was ashamed to admit it.

Gibbs nodded. "Haven't done right by you in a long time. Need to change that, wanna change it - if you'll let me."

"Not sure how much I can trust you with that.' Tim admitted quietly, his eyes looking directly at the man now, willing him to see just how deep Tim was reaching, now that he'd been given the chance.

"That's on me. I let you down. Do my best not to let it happen again, Tim." Gibbs vowed.

Tim sighed as he glanced back outside for a minute. Looking back at the man that meant the world to him, he cleared his throat and allowed his conviction to reverberate through his response, his tone quiet yet unfaltering.

"We _all_ deserve another chance."

****FINIS***


End file.
